We'll Always Have Paris
by GCatsPjs
Summary: A look into the past, present, and future, as the past is remembered and the future becomes the present.
1. Paris is Always a Good Idea

_**Chapter 1- Paris is always a good idea**_

They climbed the steps quickly, the woman's voice laughing loudly as he reached around her to unlock the door, their bodies crashing in a passionate lock as soon as they crossed the threshold. "Jack…" She giggled as he pushed her across the hallway, his foot kicking the door. "We have to stop!" Angela giggled as her back hit the wall, and the paintings that hung there rattled with the impact. "Jack!" She laughed.

"Why? Why do we have to stop?"

"Because we have to get to the airport to pick up Bren!"

"Doctor Brennan has been stuck in a hole in Indonesia for six months, I think she can handle a Parisian cab ride." He said, kissing her cheek, neck, lips as they tumbled from the hallway into the living room, where he pushed her over the edge of the couch with a resounding squeal.

"That's not fair, she's been stuck in a hole." Angela said, kissing him back as he attacked her lips. "And we've been doing this for six months…"

"And to think, I'm still not bored with it." He teased her as he attacked her neck with kisses, growling into her skin as they began to disrobe one another right there in their sunlit apartment.

"Jack, we have to go get her, I promised! What kind of person leaves their best friend deserted at the airport?"

"One that got stuck in traffic!" Jack exclaimed as he continued to kiss her, rolling her against him as she kissed him back. "Besides, do you have any idea statistically how often planes run late… there's a good chance she won't even be here until tonight." He said, and just as he spoke the words, there was a sharp rapping on the door. Jack looked up at Angela and his mouth hung open for a second. "Do you think if we're really quiet, they'll go away?" He whispered.

Angela gave him a dirty look and he let out a sheepish laugh, glancing to the door and back to Angela, there was another knock.

"Ange?" A voice penetrated through the door. Angela's eyes widened and a grin lit up her face. "Ange, are you home?"

"I'll be right there, Sweetie!" Angela exclaimed as she pushed at her husband, sending him tumbling to the ground with a thud.

"Ow!" Hodgins exclaimed, as Angela leaned down and kissed him.

"Sorry, sweetheart… I haven't seen her in six months!" She said as she reached for his hand to help him as she climbed from the couch. "Go buckle your pants so that I can open the door. She exclaimed in a whisper as she straightened herself out and practically ran for the door, swinging the door open.

She looked thinner and exhausted, dark circles under her eyes, and her hair was shorter, and a bit darker than the last time she had seen her. She looked absolutely exhausted, it appeared that the flight had been quite torturous. "Sweetie!" Angela exclaimed as she virtually tackled the woman on the other side of the door, her bags falling to the landing as she reached her arms around her friend in a mighty hug. "Merry Christmas!" She said with a grin as she pulled from the hug and touched Brennan's cheeks. "God, sweetie, you have lost too much weight…"

"I'm still within the correct body mass index for my height, Angela… at least, I think I am…" She shook her head.

"You weren't supposed to be here for another couple of hours! I wasn't expecting you to be here so early, and Jack and I were just about to go and get you." She said as Brennan looked her up and down.

"Right, as soon as you were finished with what you were doing." She said with a knowing nod and half smile.

"Come in, come in… come see the place… You must be exhausted!"

"I am quite tired, yes. It was a very long flight… and you know the holiday traffic is abysmal." She said as she stepped into the hallway and saw Jack as he walked toward her, his arms outstretched.

"Doctor B." He said with a genuine smile, hugging her closely, he could feel her hugging back, but not with the usual strength. "Are you feeling well?"

"Yeah…" She said with a weak smile, pulling from the hug, she looked to her two friends as they stood together. "I think it may just have been something on the plane… my stomach has been a little off. You two are looking very well." She smiled sincerely as she watched them pull one another close. "It feels very good to be with friends." She said definitively. "Very good."

"Well here, let me take your bags to your room, and Ange can show you around the apartment… and maybe we'll let you take a nap or something before we go have dinner. How does that sound?"

"That sounds very good… very, very good." Brennan said with a nod, as Angela hooked her arm in Brennan's and led her through the apartment as Hodgins grabbed her bags and carted them down the hallway toward one of their guest bedrooms.


	2. I wish I didn't love you so much

_The apartment was quiet and cool, and the suitcase that once sat on the table beside the couch was strewn about the floor, clothing dumped to the floor. Several books that had been sitting on the coffee table to be packed had been tossed aside, landing haphazardly on the floor, forgotten by its owner. The sound of soft talking sprinkled in from the bedroom, a man and woman's voice, soft and tender, sad, but hopeful._

_"I'm sorry." She whispered softly, showing her apology with tender kisses across his jaw line. They lay on the mattress, though fully clothed, their hair and clothes were an unkempt mess, and their bodies were not even an inch apart as he held her in his arms and kissed her forehead repeatedly. "I'm so sorry."_

_"It's okay, baby." He whispered. "It's okay… this is something that you want, it's something that you need."_

_"I thought that I needed it, but I'm afraid that after a year, you're not going to be here." She whispered._

_"I probably won't." He whispered to her._

_"What do you mean?" She asked, turning to face him, her eyes were shining with betrayal._

_"I mean that I'm going back into the army, Bones. I'm moving on. I am tired of not getting what I want, the life that I want, so I'm going to do what I'm good at for a while, move on." He replied confidently, refusing to look into her eyes._

_"Booth?" She said softly, her voice frightened. "What are you saying?"_

_"I'm giving it all up." He said, as he started to get up off the bed, separating himself from her. He stood up and watched her lie on the bed. "I'm giving you up because you didn't see what you had when you had it, and it's too late." He replied coldly, his eyes two dark, beady, cold dots. "I'm giving up Parker because he would be better off without me. I am dangerous, and I lead a dangerous life. I disappoint him constantly, and I never get to see him. I haven't even been able to watch my own son grow up. I am tired of not getting what I want, so I am just leaving." He said coldly, his stance was straight, his eyes even colder than a moment before._

_"Booth, please sit down and talk to me about this."_

_"No, Bones. You leave tomorrow… your decision is made. My decision is made too. I have to be on base by six in the morning, and that's it."_

_"You're not going to see me off at the airport?" She whispered._

_"I'll see what I can do, but no promises." He replied, watching her for a moment before turning and leaving the room._

_It took her a moment, and she heard the apartment door close. "No…" She whispered. "No! BOOTH!" She exclaimed. "BOOTH COME BACK!" She screamed. "BOOTH!" She tried to jump from the bed, but found herself held down, and she began to shout and struggle, when another voice came through to her, a familiar voice, calling to her._

"Brennan, please wake up!" Angela exclaimed, when suddenly, Brennan's eyes opened and she found herself staring into the eyes of her best friend. "Oh my God! Thank God!" She exclaimed, grabbing Brennan tightly, the woman was shaking in her arms, and Angela looked scared half to death.

"What's going on?" Brennan explained, out of breath and completely confused. "Where am I?"

"You're in Paris, Bren… you're burning up…"

"I'm fine, it's just a bug. I'll be fine." She said, giving Angela a confused look as she pushed against her friend, her cheeks were flushed and her skin was slick with sweat. "I guess that meal on the plane was worse than I thought."

"Bren, you were shouting for Booth."

"I'm a little hungry." Brennan said, trying to get up from the bed, she sat back down quickly from the dizziness.

"I'm taking you to the doctor."

"I'll be fine, Ange. I just had a long flight."

"Brennan, you've been in a jungle for six months, you could have anything."

"I said I'm fine, Ange." Brennan said, grabbing her head as she stood up. "I just need this headache to stop." She whispered as she pulled her suitcase onto the bed.

"How long have you had it?"

"Um… just… just a day or two." She whispered. "I think it's just the weather in Indonesia. I'm not used to that particular climate, and it has a tendency to wreak havoc with my upper respiratory system and my sinuses at times. I should have some Tylenol somewhere in here…" She said as she scrambled through her suitcase, trying to find it.

"Sweetie, I really think you should see a doctor. You've lost a lot of weight, you look like you haven't slept in days, what's going on with you?"

"Nothing is going on." She grunted, pulling clothes out of her suitcase now, she looked like an animal ready for the kill. She sighed angrily as she pushed the clothes aside. "I just need my Tylenol!" She exclaimed as she pulled something in the suitcase that was below another article of clothing, getting caught on the side of the suitcase, sending it tumbling to the floor. Brennan groaned as she lost her balance, stepping backwards.

"Bren, be careful, you're going to fall." Angela said as she grabbed her friend's arm, looking into her dazed eyes, "You're going to the doctor."

"I am not going to the doctor." She said, looking down at her fallen suitcase for a moment before looking up into her friend's eyes. "You're right though, I haven't been sleeping."

"Why not?" She whispered.

"I haven't heard from Booth in more than two weeks." She swallowed. "He usually writes, or calls… but it has been more than two weeks, and nothing. I'm scared, Ange." She whispered, her lip trembling as she took a rattling breath. "I'm really scared." She said, as in a quick step toward her friend, Angela's arms were around her in support and love.


	3. Artifacts Of Another Time

Angela and Brennan sat and talked for a while, as Brennan let the Tylenol begin to work. She told Angela of her letters to Booth, and how she always heard from him about four days later, by telephone or e-mail, but that the last two weeks had been silent on either front. She had attempted to contact someone else in his unit, but was blocked at every avenue, and though she wasn't feeling well now, she hadn't told Angela that her fever had been slowly spiking since two days earlier.

"I just think it would be best if you went to see a doctor, Bren. It would make me feel a lot better." Angela explained.

"It is just my body's response to a poor diet, and lack of sleep, Angela. I should be fine once I get used to the time change, and the climate, and get some food and sleep." She said with a half smile, that didn't even come close to reaching her eyes.

"You still look like crap, Bren." Angela said, feeling her friend's forehead. "The Tylenol seems to be working, but you still feel warm."

"I will be just fine, Angela… just let me take a quick shower, and we can go have dinner." She said, smiling at her friend as she nodded and stood up, leaving Brennan to herself.

She stood up and turned toward her suitcase, pulling some clothes from within it, she straightened them out on the bed and a glint of something shimmering from her bag caught her eye. She smiled when she thought of the object, and pulled it from her bag with a sheepish grin, her face flushing when she thought of it.

_Slowly pulling his suit pants back onto his hips, he gave a glance back to the sleepy eyes that were looking up at him. He carefully buttoned them, and felt guilty for having to leave. Her eyes closed and he smiled as he walked around the bed, climbing slowly onto the side that he had claimed for the past four hours. His chest was still bare, his belt in his hand as he slowly threaded a stray hair around his finger, carefully tucking it behind her ear. "Baby?" He whispered, receiving no response, he kissed her nose, and no response, just a sly smile on her lips. "Why are you teasing me, Bones?"_

_"Because you're leaving." She whispered._

_"You're leaving." He stated, though his voice was tender. "I want to give you something."_

_"What?" She whispered, still not opening her eyes._

_"You have to open your eyes."_

_"No. I'm trying to keep your voice in my mind."_

_"I will call you, baby." He whispered. "You'll hear my voice. Open your eyes, please?"_

_"No." She said, holding her hand out. "Put it in my hand." She said softly, listening to a gentle laugh rumbled through to her ears, and after a moment, she felt something cool placed in her hand. As soon as she felt it in her fingertips her smile brightened, and she knew what it was. "What are you doing?" She asked, tilting her head as her eyes opened._

_"What do you mean?" He whispered. "I need you to hold onto it for me." He said with a wink. "I'm not going to have much need for a cocky belt buckle with my fatigues." He said as he watched her smile fade a little as she gently ran her finger over the belt buckle._

_"I can't take it, Booth." She whispered. "It was a gift to you."_

_"It was a gift from you… and you said it was 'Boothy'… You appreciate it, I want you to hold onto it… so you know that I'm not going to be cocky out there in that war zone."_

_"So you're saying that the belt buckle is the source of your smug, overconfident, superior demeanor?" She asked._

_"Yes." He said, his brow furrowed and she let out a giggle. "Hey…" He said, with a laugh as he caught her lips with his own and let it linger for a moment. "So will you keep it for me?"_

_"I'll keep it for you."_

_"You're going to miss me, right?" He whispered._

_"Of course."_

_"Good, because I'm going to miss you too." He said with a smile, pulling her into a hug, he kissed her head softly and held her, as she held the belt buckle to her heart, and just let him hold her for a while._

She stared at the buckle for a moment and sighed, setting it carefully back in her bag. She looked at it sitting at the bottom, and she closed her eyes tightly, feeling the pressure of her headache throbbing, she let a tear fall as she held her breath for a second, before turning, and heading toward the bathroom to take a quick shower before dinner.


	4. When I See You, You're Not There

Angela told Brennan that she refused to leave the apartment until her hair was thoroughly dried, and she was bundled up like an Eskimo, complete with mittens and a hat along with her red pea coat that she had brought. She wore a heavy sweater and jeans, comfortable but for the throbbing headache and chills from the fever she was masking with Tylenol.

They walked together, the three of them, down the street toward a small bistro that Angela and Hodgins had taken to since their first week in Paris, and settled at one of the tables outside. Despite the cold temperatures, the heaters that were set up outside were enough to keep the patrons warm with their hot beverages and small entrees, and array of cheeses that could make your mouth water.

Brennan was swaddled tightly in her coat, avoiding the temptation to chatter her teeth as Angela gave her a disapproving look, to which a glare was received in return.

"So you have a lecture here in Paris this week?" Hodgins said with a friendly nod.

"Christmas Eve is Friday, Bren."

"Yes." She nodded as she sipped her drink, she gave Angela a glance and scrunched her nose at the temperature of the beverage and placed it on the table. "I am aware of the date of Christmas, and I had originally planned to visit without any other engagements, but I was asked by American University of Paris to give a brief lecture of what research we have been doing on the Maluku project, and what pitfalls we've come across, what our techniques and strategies have been for excavating the remains, as well as describing some of the artifacts that we have discovered with the remains. I couldn't necessarily give up this opportunity. The lecture is the day after tomorrow, Tuesday." She said, taking a sip of her beverage, she gave Angela a sly smile. "And besides, I thought that after a day or two putting up with me, you'd both like your privacy back."

"That's ridiculous, Doctor B, we are really happy to have you here." Hodgins said with a genuine smile. "I know we came here to get away from everything, but it feels good to see someone from home."

"You both have made me feel very welcome." She said, shivering slightly as Angela shook her head.

"We're going inside." She said, nodding toward the indoor dining room.

"No, the heater is fine out here." She sighed as Angela grabbed her arm, and Hodgins shrugged as he grabbed their plates and cups and led the way inside, holding the door for his wife, and the struggling anthropologist. Just as she was walking into the building, though, she swore that she heard a familiar laugh, and his voice, and as she turned, she saw a crowd of people walking through the throngs of shoppers and travelers, she swore she saw a familiar trench coat and messy brown hair. "Ange, wait…" She said as she pulled from her friend's grip and stumbled out of the door.

"Bren, where are you going?" Angela said as she followed Brennan and reached for her, though she was too late, and Brennan just continued to walk blindly into the crowd. "Brennan, come here!" Angela exclaimed as Hodgins stood at the door, closing it to keep the cold out, he watched his wife chase their friend as she pushed her way through the crowd. "Brennan! What are you doing?" She exclaimed as she almost tackled her friend in the middle of the crowd, pulling her to the side of the throngs of people, she pushed her up against a stone wall and touched her face. "God, Brennan, you're burning up!"

"I saw Booth." She whispered, out of breath, she grabbed her head suddenly. "God…it hurts so much…" She whispered as Angela touched her friend's head and forced her to look at her.

"Look at me, Brennan. Look at me now."

"What?" She said, staring into Angela's eyes, she felt the headache throbbing in the back of her head. Her arms were so sore, her legs were barely holding her.

"I am taking you to the hospital right now."

"No." She said stubbornly, pulling away from her friend, she started toward the restaurant, stumbling with each step.

"Brennan, you're sick! You need to see a doctor! You have a fever, you're shivering like a wet poodle, and you are claiming to see someone who is thousands of miles away, Sweetie, you're sick!" Angela exclaimed, noting the looks she was getting from passersby. "Brennan, please!" She exclaimed, grabbing her friend's jacket, Brennan swung around and glared at Angela.

"If I have something contagious, they wouldn't have let me out of the country, Angela. I am fine. She said angrily. "Just let me get some rest, I have my lecture on Tuesday, and we'll spend Wednesday and Thursday shopping until we collapse, okay? I just need some sleep." She said, wobbling slightly.

"Bren…" Angela warned.

"Ange, please."

"Fine." She said, glaring. "But if you have a fever in the morning, I'm taking you to the doctor."

"Fine." She sighed as she took her friend's arm as they walked to retrieve Hodgins before they headed back to the apartment together.

* * *

Settled in her room finally, Brennan set about taking a shower before bed, hoping that the cool water would bring the fever down, though it only succeeded in making her head hurt worse. She stepped out of the shower and immediately noticed that her skin was quite red on the back of her calves, a slight rash having formed at some point during the evening. She sighed as she finished drying off, scratching at the inflamed skin lightly, she sighed.

"Stupid cold weather." Brennan mumbled as she finished drying off and placed the towel on the towel rack. She dressed in sweats and a sweatshirt, and crawled slowly into the bed, sighing as she rolled onto her side, spotting her bag on the table next to the bed, she reached her hand into it, and pulled out the familiar red and white belt buckle and stared at it for a moment. Her fingers ran over the letters, and the picture of the rooster for a moment as she sighed. "Please bring me good dreams tonight, Booth." She whispered. "Please call me soon." She said, kissing the belt buckle quickly, she instantly felt ridiculous as she sighed at her illogical and odd action. She carefully slipped the belt buckle into the pocket of the bag and sighed as she snapped the switch of the light off and pulled the blankets up tightly against her body. "Sweet dreams Booth, wherever you are." She said softly, as a restless sleep gripped her tightly in its grasp.


	5. Circling The Drain

_The warm air penetrated her small shack as she placed her belongings on the makeshift table, her necklace pooling onto itself as it with a light tap against the wooden tabletop. She slowly unbuttoned her shirt, placing it atop the pile of dirty clothes, she reached for the t-shirt that she wore to bed every night, and though it no longer smelled of its previous owner, she could imagine quite clearly the last time he wore it, and how he smelled, how he tasted, how he felt that day._

_There had been nearly two weeks between the day they had closed the hoarder case, and the day she left, and in that time their relationship had changed dramatically. They had met for after case drinks after they closed the case, and celebrated with a bottle of scotch at Booth's apartment, that had turned into several hours of reminiscing. They laughed and cried, and somehow she allowed that liquor to penetrate what she had always thought was her better judgment as she nearly tackled him into the couch._

_He had started to laugh, but was immediately silenced when he heard the gentle whimper in her voice stating her impatience with his slow realization, and it didn't take long before he whispered to her his desire, and she gratefully accepted with the caveat that she didn't want liquor to be a part of their first time together. So he agreed to be respectful of her wishes in that regard, and for that first night, they just held one another, kissing and whispering words of love and encouragement as they prayed for the alcoholic haze to lift without any regrets._

_She was suddenly pulled from her thoughts when there was a knock at her door, and she jumped when she heard it, grabbing her bathrobe she wrapped it quickly around her with a curt shout that she'd be with them in a moment._

_She opened the door slowly, and immediately saw the green and tan colors of fatigues, her heart jumped into her throat. She almost didn't want to look up into their eyes, praying they'd disappear. She took a slow deep breath and resigned herself to reality. "Can I help you?"_

_"Are you Doctor Temperance Brennan?" The younger looking of the two soldiers asked, watching her slow nod, the tears already pooling in her eyes._

_"Where is he?" She whispered._

_"We regret to inform you, Ma'am."_

_"Where is he?" She asked again._

_The soldiers continued talking, but she couldn't hear them, their lips moving as they tried to hand her something. She refused to move, she refused to breathe._

"Where is he?" She screamed suddenly, setting herself upright in her bed, she found herself in a dark, unfamiliar room, sweat pouring down her face as she tried to catch her breath.

After a moment, she realized where she was, and her hand slapped against her chest as she felt the sweat seeping through the t-shirt that she was wearing. She looked to the light under the door, praying that Angela didn't come barreling into the room after hearing her scream, but the apartment was silent.

She turned toward her bag and rolled to her side, reaching into it quickly, she slammed her elbow onto the table sharply. She held her breath through the pain, letting it pass quickly as she pulled the belt buckle from within it and grasped it tightly in her hand. She could tell that her fever had broken, yet she still felt the chill of it on her skin, and her head was throbbing violently right behind her eyes.

She held the buckle tightly, feeling it dig into her hand as she closed her eyes and did something that she never thought she'd do.

She prayed.

* * *

When morning finally arrived, she woke to find her sheets had been discarded, but her hand still grasped that belt buckle tightly. She held it against her chest for a moment as she heard the creaking of floorboards outside, and grabbed her sheets to pull them up onto herself as she slipped the buckle into her bag.

There was a gentle knock on the door. "Sweetie, are you awake?"

"Yeah, Ange." She said softly. "You can come in." She said, watching Angela's head poke into the room, she gave her a weak smile. "I'm sorry." She said, watching Angela's brow furrow. "I'm sorry that I am ill."

"Aw, sweetie." Angela said as she walked into the room and toward the bed. "Don't worry about it… things like this happen, I just want to make sure you're okay. How did you sleep?"

Brennan's eyes moved to the left before they reached her friend's. "I slept well."

"It's okay that you're lying to me, sweetie." Angela said with a knowing smile. "I know you."

"I just want to know something." She sighed. "I just want to know anything, it's really making me feel uncomfortable." She said, watching Angela's hand reach across and touch her forehead, she gave her friend a dirty look. "Ange!" She said indignantly.

"I was just checking for a fever. You wouldn't let me near you under normal circumstances." She said, as Brennan sighed. "Your fever seems to have gone down."

"See… you don't have to mother me any longer." She said, coughing slightly. "So what's on the agenda today?"

"Well…" Angela smiled. "Since you still look like crap, and you have your lecture tomorrow… I thought we'd stay in today, and decorate the house together."

"Decorate it for what?" She asked.

Angela then instantly reached out for her friend's forehead again, and was met with a resolute smack. "Christmas, Brennan… are you sure you're okay? You still look pretty bad. Will you please let me take you to the..."

"No, Angela. I have my lecture tomorrow… after my lecture, you can take me anywhere you want, okay?" She said with a sigh, feeling a sharp pain in her stomach suddenly. She did her best to hide her discomfort from her friend, and she turned her head to look at the clock to keep the grimace from being visible.

"Fine, Bren… after the lecture… but you are going to the doctor."

"I will go to the doctor." She mumbled, covering her eyes with her hand. "Can you get me some Tylenol, and a glass of water? Once this headache goes away, I'll be fine. I need to take another shower. My fever has just about broken, so if I freshen up, I may feel a little better."

"Okay." Angela nodded. "You go take your shower, and I'll have the Tylenol and water ready for you on the dresser." She said, watching Brennan nod.

As soon as Angela left the room, Brennan attempted to climb easily from the bed, finding her muscles where sore and achy. She groaned as she attempted to stand, stumbling slightly, she reached for the door frame to steady herself and instantly noticed the dark purple bruise on her arm. She stared at it for a moment in disbelief, trying to remember when she had hit her elbow with force enough to make a mark so large and painful looking. She steadied herself for a moment, and felt a pinch of pain on her hand, turning her palm around, there were two bruises across her hand, and she instantly knew they were from the tight grasp she held on the belt buckle.

She touched her forehead with her other hand, noting that the fever had indeed reduced, but perhaps she had been more forceful than she had originally thought. She sighed as she stepped into the small bathroom off of the bedroom, pulling the men's t-shirt from her body, she stood naked before the mirror for a moment, staring into the hollowed eyes that stared back at her. Her face was thinner, her body was thinner, and the rings under her eyes were dark and made her look so ill. She took a slow deep breath and looked away before opening her eyes, moving toward the shower, she noticed the rash had spread a bit on her legs, and up her thighs a bit, wondering for a moment if she had eaten something that she was allergic to, she reminded herself to ask Angela for some antihistamines when she was out of the shower, as she turned on the hot water, and climbed into the spray as she attempted to immerse herself into its warmth, because in that warmth, there was no pain or loss, only the refreshing feel of the water hitting her skin, as the sweat from the nightmares and the tears washed unceremoniously down the drain.


	6. Exit, Stage Left

The lecture hall was enormous. It was enormous, and filled with people. Academic, civilians, government, military. At first glance, it appeared that everyone in Paris was interested in learning of the findings during the Maluku expedition on the Indonesian islands. It appeared that everyone was excited, the energy was contagious, and from the look of the keynote speaker, it may not be the only thing that was contagious.

The room was warm and toasty, and to the observer, it appeared that it would only be due to the extraneous body heat that would increase the temperature a degree or two. The lights were dimmed in the audience, enough for everyone to find a seat, and the stage was dark but for the focus point of the podium.

Brennan stood back stage, shifting from foot to foot as she stared at her notes. She felt absolutely awful, her head was pounding relentlessly, and her fever had gone back up since she had woken that morning, and the chilling sweats she was experiencing were making her more and more agitated and uncomfortable. The rash on her legs had spread a little more in some places and faded in others, and her muscles were aching so horribly that she barely made it out of the apartment without Angela noticing. She had insisted that Angela didn't have to take her to the lecture, having hired a town car to get her to the University, and limiting her interaction with her overbearing friend.

She stood with her eyes on the note cards in her hands, but her focus was on the throbbing in her head, and she couldn't seem to focus on the cards completely. There were people buzzing around, hovering, and she could tell that they wanted to ask her questions or approach her, but were too nervous to do so. She thought seriously about giving the speech in French, but she knew that the number of American students, it was easier for her to speak English, and allow the translators to take care of the rest with the screens situated above the stage. Her speech had been translated already, and all she needed to do was follow the note cards, if she could see them. She shook her head and rubbed her eyes again, knowing that she could potentially be smudging her eye makeup, for she had to put extra on in order to mask the pale, pasty look to her skin. She coughed a little, clearing her throat and sighed as she rubbed the bridge of her nose.

"Doctor Brennan, are you alright?" One of the organizers said as she nodded her head, giving a weak smile that was meant to be encouraging, but barely made it to her lips, let alone her eyes.

"I'm fine… still recovering from jet lag, I suppose." She replied, dryly.

"Do you need a glass of water or something?"

"At the podium, please. That would be fine."

"Okay." The woman nodded, and turned as a man walked up to her and watched as her eyes lifted to meet his.

"Doctor Brennan, are you not feeling well?" Professor Durham said as he tipped his head and really scrutinized her appearance. She looked pale and small, she was quiet and not quite as demanding as she had been the last time she had done a lecture for the university. There was just something about the way she was holding herself, that just screamed that she was not doing well.

"I'm fine, Professor Durham." She nodded. "I'm just suffering from a headache, perhaps the change of climate, I'm unsure. I'll be fine." She whispered.

"Well, if you need anything, please let us know."

"I will." She nodded.

"We're about to start your introduction."

"Thank you." She nodded, watching the professor turn as everyone left her to her notes. She was having difficulty standing all of a sudden, a sharp pain in her stomach sent her toward a chair, and her muscles screamed angrily against her as she sat down, resting her head in her hands as she listened to the roar of the applause as she was introduced, she tried to control her pain by breathing slow deep breaths through her nose, and out through her mouth, focusing on the floor.

She felt as if she had only been sitting there for a moment, when someone tapped her shoulder. She had apparently fallen asleep sitting hunched over in her chair, and the moment they poked her, she jumped. She stared blankly into the eyes of Professor Durham, and he looked alarmed.

"Doctor Brennan, they're waiting."

"Oh! Oh… oh…" She said, feeling the strain on her muscles as she stood there, she touched his shoulder for a moment of support, and he looked at her awkwardly. "I'm sorry." She whispered, swallowing hard, she straightened and took a deep breath, as she stepped out in front of the lecture hall full of expecting people, and walked to the podium amidst a round of applause that caused her head to pound harder, the pain unforgiving as she trembled from both chills, and the pain. The lights were so very bright, and the pain behind her eyes was becoming unbearable as she touched the microphone with her hand, sending a shot of feedback that made her visibly shudder.

"Good Afternoon everyone." She said, as the applause began again, and she took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she tried to find her place to start.

* * *

It was obvious that she wasn't feeling well as she stood at the podium. Her voice was slurred, her eyes were not bright, and she was obviously wearing much more makeup than any other time. She looked thin, frail and her skin was pale as she spoke.

Her words came out slowly, and it was obvious that she was in some kind of pain, a pain that was obvious enough for some in the audience to notice, and whether or not they were there to see her speak on the Maluku Island expedition, or to just speak in general, she was not herself up there, and as hard as she tried, she could not make it convincing.

She stepped from the podium for a moment, her focus on the screen behind her as she held up a laser pointer to the screen, speaking as she clicked through the various slides, slowly. Occasionally she'd stop and cough, taking a sip of water from the glass set at the podium, and she appeared to be hitting her stride, until she stepped back up to the podium again and touched the microphone, sending a shot of feedback loudly through the auditorium, it was then that she stumbled backwards a bit, seemingly losing her balance, she took a slow deep breath and turned around, apologizing.

It was that moment that he stood up, a man in the back of the lecture hall, who seemed to cause a bit of a stirring among some students, he stood and walked to the aisle, stepping slowly down as if he were watching carefully, or as if he were approaching Doctor Brennan herself. His steps were confident and sure, though slow, and not distracting, for she already seemed distracted from her speech, though she was trying her best to remain in charge of her body and the lecture.

He made it to the fourth row of seats, when Doctor Brennan's eyes flashed to the movement of the person, looking intent to ask them to sit down, when her speech was stopped cold, and she gasped slightly, and was obviously affected by something, perhaps it was the man.

* * *

She was doing just fine until she stumbled a bit, her lecture wasn't exactly going how she thought it would, but she was trying to focus, feeling a bit shaky from the feedback, and tried to focus on the audience for a minute, catching movement out of the corner of her eye, she turned her head and her mind focused in on an unbelievable sight. Two warm brown eyes, staring back at her as he settled into the fourth row of seats, she was sure that she was seeing things, for her dreams had been so vivid, she wasn't sure that this was not a dream. She then turned her attention from the man, knowing that with the pain in her head, her mind was playing tricks, and faced front, continuing the lecture.

She looked down at her notes and continued speaking, changing the slides as she went. She looked up, and thought for a second that she was getting strange looks from the audience. She was beginning to feel a little dizzy, so she didn't think much of it, until she looked down at her notes again, hearing the sound of something dripping onto the cardboard, she looked down and gasped.

Blood.

She lifted her hand to her nose, and could feel the warm liquid dropping from her nose, and she was suddenly feeling even more dizzy than a moment before. There was the sound of scrambling feet as she turned to excuse herself for a moment, when in the hastiness of her exit, she caught her foot on the cord from the microphone and nearly tumbled to the floor, when she felt the weight of a body against her, she breathed in and whimpered at the familiar scent of the body holding her up, she tried to find the strength to look up at the eyes of her savior. She found no strength, only safety in the arms of the person that she wished was the man she loved, and as her head pounded and twisted in sickening dizziness, she heard his voice.

"Bones, don't fade on me… stay with me, Bones…"

Her eyes opened and there he was, and she hoped with all she had that she was dreaming, because if she wasn't, the only other option in her mind, was that she was dying. Her eyes stared blankly into his, and with a painful wish, she closed her eyes tightly, let out a pitiful whimper, as she gave into the darkness that was calling to her.


	7. Old Habits, Die Hard

**The following chapter is entitled 'Old Habits Die Hard'... The title is in reference to a Rolling Stones song of that name. If you get a chance, please listen to it, the lyrics are beautiful, and the message is heartfelt and heartbreaking... and I think it would prepare you for the words that I, myself have written. Thank you and enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

When he stepped into the lecture hall, he looked around immediately to see if there was anyone around that would recognize him. He was grateful that Hodgins or Angela weren't there, for they would surely ruin the surprise of his arrival, and he certainly didn't want that. He looked at the room, crowded with people from all walks of life. There were educators and students, citizens and even children who were crowding into the seats, most of which speaking French, naturally, a language of which he could understand slightly, but not speak well at all.

He shifted down one of the rows closer to the back, looking down at the darkened stage area where the podium sit alight with a projected presentation in the background. He could feel the anticipation rolling in his belly, though it may be hunger as well, for he hadn't found anything about French cuisine that he could stomach. He sat among several students, their voices hushed in excitement, and Booth couldn't help but feel a swell of pride in his chest for the energy in the room was settling right on his partner's shoulders, and she was the reason for the electricity in the room.

He noticed that a couple of students had copies of her book, and laughed to himself knowing how irritated she would get when people would ask her to sign them when she was working on a different project. She would get that little pout in her lip, her eyes widen as her jaw clicked, and he knew that she was just one straw closer to snapping at them. She was always polite, and never actually snapped at them, but she always knew she was close.

He leaned back in the seat, watching that podium with a childlike excitement, though it wasn't necessarily the speech he was waiting for, but the speaker itself. He couldn't wait to see that radiant woman step up to the podium, to see her eyes sparkling at the excitement of the find, the same excitement that he could feel in each and every one of her letters, e-mails and phone calls. He reached his hand into his pocket, pulling out the object that he held secreted inside. He pulled the long, golden chain from his pocket, and felt the weight of its charm in his fingertips as he brought it to his hands and gently ran his fingers over the finish of the object as it gently clinked against the St. Christopher medal.

* * *

_He had been lying on his side for a while now, his arms embracing her fully as he buried his nose in her neck, listening to a delicate sigh leave her lips as her head turned to face him. She lifted her hand to his cheek, tenderly running her fingertips over the rough surface of his five o'clock shadow. He lifted his hand to hers, capturing it in his own, he entangled his fingers with hers, wrapping his arm around her, keeping their fingers together, his fingertip rolled over the ring on her finger again and again, twisting it over her tender flesh._

_She laughed a throaty laugh, as his forefinger just continued to roll over the ring, twisting and twisting again as his voice resounded a hum that was out of tune and playful. "What are you doing?" She whispered._

_"Being with you." He whispered back. "For as long as I can."_

_"You're half dressed." She said softly, knowing that he had at least slipped his pants back on, she still held his belt buckle in her other hand._

_"Or am I half naked?" He whispered into her neck as she laughed, pulling her hand from his, she heard a growl from behind her, and knew that he wasn't happy with the change in position, until she turned completely around in his arms and curled against his chest, holding the buckle in both hands, she twisted the ring on her finger as he kissed her head, letting her look up at him after a moment, he watched her hold a fist to him, obviously holding something in her hand. "What is this?" He asked, his voice husky and soft, tender as could be as she just watched him with wide eyes for a moment, hoping that he'd just simply get the hint, and not force her to explain herself. He held his hand to her, and she slipped the ring into his hand, holding his fist tightly over it, his eyes locked on hers. "Bones, I can't take your mother's ring." He whispered._

_"Yes you can." She whispered. "And it's not my mother's ring. It's my ring. It was passed on to me, so that I had something with me that would remind me of her. I want you to have something with you, that reminds you of me."_

_"Bones…" He said, his voice was filled with warmth and heart, and for a moment he was speechless. "You don't… believe in things like this. You don't do things like this. Things are just things to you."_

_"Do you believe that?" She asked him sincerely, their eyes never wavering for a moment, not even to blink._

_"Do I believe that things are just things? No. I gave you my belt buckle."_

_"You said you gave it to me to hold onto… so that you wouldn't be a hero, so you wouldn't be arrogant. You said you gave it to me because it wouldn't go well with your fatigues."_

_"Do you believe that to be true?" He asked._

_"Well, I don't think it would go well with your fatigues Booth. I don't believe the army would let you wear it."_

_"And where would it see better use?" He whispered. "In the bottom of a bag, or in the center of your hand where you can hold it, look at it, and smile… knowing that I'm not being an arrogant ass to someone." He smiled, and his eyes smiled too._

_"Take the ring, Booth." She whispered sincerely._

_"Bones."_

_"Why won't you take the ring?" She whispered, feeling tears springing to her eyes. "Please, Booth… just take the ring… Here." She said, reaching down, she found his suit pocket and reached her hand down into it, pushing her body against his, he could feel her hand digging deeply into his pocket, and then pull out from it, he instantly noticed that she had pulled his St. Christopher medal from his pocket._

_"Bones." He said, trying to calm her down, her fingers fumbling with the latch on the chain, he reached his hands out and steadied them, catching her eyes with his own, he carefully unhooked the latch on the chain. He then held his hand out, her eyes steady on his, she tenderly placed the ring on his palm and watched as he brought it to his fingertips, and gave her a pointed look. "I will take your ring." He said softly, sliding it down the chain slowly, he listened to the gentle clink of the two metal charms hitting one another. "But I'm giving it back to you when I see you again."_

_"And I'll give this back… when I see you again." She whispered, giving him a smile as he reached his hands behind his neck and carefully clasped the necklace, letting the two charms sit in his palm._

_"Your ring is in very good company." He said softly._

_"And it's fitting that the rest against your sternum." She whispered, placing her hand against his bare chest, she watched his smile as he lifted his hand to tuck her hair behind her ear._

_"You were already in my heart, baby." He said, leaning down to kiss her tenderly, as the charms clinked together on his neck._

* * *

He was suddenly pulled into reality when they began the introduction of the lecturers. They were giving a list of Brennan's accolades and discussing the Maluku exhibition, and how she was leading new strides into some evolutionary… he didn't care, he just wanted to see Brennan, and as the man finished his speech, the crowd of scholars clapped and cheered to welcome her onto the stage, and when she didn't appear, Booth sat up a little straighter in his chair. The people on the small stage appeared to be confused, and one went back behind the small curtain, and hushed whispers could be heard, Booth felt his fingertips moving faster and faster over the pendant and ring in his hand, when someone appeared from the corner of the stage and approached the podium.

He must have gasped out loud at the sight of her, because several students around him stared at him for a moment as she approached the stage. She looked so absolutely frail as she approached the podium, her posture was off, and she had obviously lost a few pounds, her eyes were sunken in a bit, and she looked like she felt absolutely awful. She appeared to be sweating, her hands trembling as she touched the microphone, sending the sound of feedback through the lecture hall, she visibly shuddered.

"Good Afternoon Everyone." She said with a polite smile, but he could hear in her voice the pain, and he needed desperately to know what was wrong, for this wasn't his Bones standing before them, this was a woman in obviously excruciating pain.

He watched her trying to control her pain, from where, he wasn't sure, but he could see she was wearing an excessive amount of makeup, possibly trying to hide the pale of her skin from onlookers. She looked as if she were sweating, so she possibly had a fever, her posture hunched, so possibly a stomachache, and the hand that constantly moved to her temple told him that she had an extremely bad headache.

He watched from afar for as long as he could, knowing that he needed to get closer to her. He watched her click through several slides, moving from the podium for a moment or two, she used a laser pointer to show the audience a few points from her slide as she cleared her throat again and again, her voice not strong at all, and her words were slurring a bit, a cough and a sip of water, she seemed to be clearing things up until she moved to the podium, her hand hit the microphone again, and she stumbled a bit.

It was then that Booth was on his feet, moving quickly and unapologetically down the row, he seemed to be causing a stir with his quick exit, but the attention wasn't brought to the top of the lecture hall for Brennan, her eyes were closed for the moment, steadying herself on the podium.

When he reached the fourth row, he settled in the end seat, just as their eyes met, and he swore that he saw her gasp. He was positive that she knew he was there, and her speech paused for a moment as she stared at him blankly, her expression changing to one of fear, and disappointment, and Booth had absolutely no idea what to do. She was obviously confused, and with another moment, she turned her attention from him and focused on the audience.

It was then that he noticed from his vantage point, that she was rubbing her nose a bit with the back of her hand, and without noticing, she had left a crimson red mark on her hand. He stood up immediately, her focus now on her cards as she noticed the drops of blood that were spattering from her nose onto the cards. He tried to get to her, and was pulled by the other academics as he called to her, but she seemed completely out of it. He broke free from the men holding him back and reached for her. "Bones!" He exclaimed, reaching for her just as her body tumbled backwards just as he broke free from the arms of the other people on the stage, her body landing completely against his, the blood flowing down her face, he held her in his arms.

"Bones, come on, baby… come on, baby, look at me!" He exclaimed, her eyes opening, she stared at him as if she were frightened, her eyes showing fear and disappointment, sadness, her eyes staring straight into him, straight into his soul as he called to her again and again, hoping to jar her into reality. He could feel how wet she was from her sweat, how hot her skin was to the touch, how the sweat glistened on her face and neck and he barked at everyone around him to give her space. "Bones, please, baby…Bones… don't fade on me." He said, seeing her eyes. "Bones, don't fade on me, stay with me, Bones… Please." He said, as suddenly her eyes closed, and her body fell limp against him, her hand once holding his tightly, had gone loose, as suddenly he felt the arms of law enforcement pulling him away from her, and even against his protests, they took her from him in such haste, that he didn't even get a chance to kiss her lips before she was taken from his grasp. They whisked backstage as he struggled and fought against the hands of law enforcement to get to her, just so that he could assure himself that she was breathing, and that he hadn't held her until her last breath, that haunting look in her eyes turning his soul to ice.


	8. Screams of Anguish

_She wasn't surprised to see him standing across the airport near the escalator, she was only surprised by how long it took him to actually show up. She tried not to show her excitement at his presence, and she tried desperately not to tremble as she approached him, allowing everything around her to disappear except for him. There were no sounds of the airport, no gates calling for passengers, no screaming children or anxious travelers waiting for tickets or security. _

_There was him, and there was her, and there was nobody else. She grabbed her suitcase without alarm or unrest, and she pulled it quickly across the hard tile floor, her eyes staying focused on those dark brown, unsure eyes that stared at her across the airport waiting area and she stopped a mere foot from him, his lips trembling as he apologized awkwardly for his tardiness. She could see that he was trying his best to maintain his composure, and she hadn't even spoken yet, but could already hear the tremble in her voice, and she tried to remain calm as he followed his own advice with an immediate request for her to be careful._

_Remembering his words on love just that morning before they had parted ways, she let her eyes flash to his neckline, where the gold sparkle of chain could be seen just below his neckline, and her eyes lifted to his in her own statement of 'overly solicitous advice', in a statement of love that didn't need to be spoken aloud, but given in such a way that love was insinuated in its message._

**_"You're going to be careful out there, right Bones?" _****_Booth had asked, followed by a scoff of certainty. _****_"Don't give me that look, Bones… you know that if I told you what I was really feeling , you'd never go. I love you, I want you to be safe… when I tell you that I want you to be safe, it's the same as telling you that I love you." _**

**_"How do you figure?"_**

**_"Just be safe, Bones. I love you." He repeated as he leaned in to kiss her tenderly, holding her close to his body as they both tried not to cry._**

_At her words, he nodded, and she could see him swallow hard. There was more he wanted to say, but they had made a promise that there would be no scene, that they could do this, they could survive this. Their love could survive this. As he shifted on his feet, she thought for a moment that he was going to break his promise and kiss her, and she also knew that if he did that, there was no walking away. She felt her breath hitch as he took a step forward, his eyes drilling into hers as they begged her not to go. Her lips parted as she nearly protested his move, and when her lips parted, the stare ended, as her eyes moved once again to the chain on his neck, and to their hands, which moved in one synchronized motion as his hand clasped hers tightly._

_He whispered his promise, his promise of 'one year from today', and she could feel her heart sinking. Even as she finished his sentence, she could feel her heart crumbling. Even though they had made promises to call and email, write letters, she could feel her strength eroding. Even though she wanted to hold onto his hand forever, she was forced to release it, and he took the first step backwards, pulling his hand from hers quickly, he turned. He turned and he walked away from her, though this time she watched him. She watched him and he never turned around. _

_She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, and she opened her mouth to call to him. No words would come as she watched him disappear into the crowd. She tried to shout again, but her feet were seemingly stuck to the floor and she reached for him, but her arms seemed restrained, she called to him again, and again, and again, and the harder she struggled the more restrained she felt, the tighter her chest felt, until she felt a sense of warmth take over her, and she felt sleepy and strange, dizzy… cloudy… until she disappeared as well._

Booth couldn't watch as they injected her with another dose of sedative, and her nightmare was too much for him to bear as she screamed. He covered his ears with his hands, trying to block out the panting, breathless gasping for air as she was lulled back to sleep by the medication. Her fever was still extremely high, and she still hadn't woken completely, but for the blank stares of her nightmares as she screamed his name over and over.

She was dehydrated and the fever was coming down, but it was still painful to watch, it was painful to hear, painful to see, though he hadn't left her bedside since he had been cleared by authorities to be with her, and he had barely said two words to Angela and Hodgins, and their questions had initially gone unanswered with blank stares as he turned from them and returned to her bedside to continue his vigil.

The door opened and Angela and Hodgins stepped in, after they had gone to aid in filling out the paperwork that Booth had no interest in even looking at as he kept watch over his partner. "Is she going to be alright?" Angela asked.

"Yes." Booth whispered, as he let their other questions fall to the wayside as he held her restrained hand in his, and waited for the fever to break, watching her breathe as the heart monitor set the pace in his vigil.


	9. Everywhere I Look, There You Are

He didn't know what time it was, and he didn't care. He didn't know if a minute had passed, an hour, a day, and he didn't care. He felt no hunger, no thirst, no need for anything but to hold the hand that he held in his own.

His eyes moved from the monitors, to her face, to their hands, again and again, and special attention remained on her temperature, which was dropping. He wasn't sure the rate, and didn't care, as long as it was dropping toward normal range, that was all that mattered.

Angela and Hodgins had left at some point, a nod and grunt of acknowledgement was all that they managed to get out of him, for his focus wasn't on them, but the woman lying in the bed, and he didn't even register what they said to him as they walked out. His fingertips moved around her hand, and he gently pulled his hand from hers, feeling the limp, lifeless grip that that he had been holding, and their skin was sticky from the sweat that had been released as her temperature dropped. He glanced to the door, the only moment his eyes had moved from her in hours and he looked back to her wrist as he reached forward and gently pulled at the arm restraints, tugging them from her wrists completely. He could see the red chafing skin beneath the straps, and now knew that her fever had diminished enough that her dreams weren't likely to be as vivid as they had been. He carefully rubbed her wrists with his thumb, ensuring that any tubes or wires that were attached were still there, and his eyes glanced to the fluids that were consistently being put in her body. He sat back down and held her hand in his again, a bit looser now as he gently ran his finger over her ring finger, he thought of the small band in his pocket.

Moving slowly, he released her hand and shoved his hand in his pocket, pulling the chain from its depths, he let the ring dangle in front of his face for a moment, clinking gently with the St. Christopher's medal, the view of his love through its middle made his heart clench angrily, his stomach twist, and his throat dry. With a heavy sigh, he carefully unclasped the chain and carefully pulled the ring into his palm, his eyes moving to the woman in the bed, he clasped the chain again and slipped it into his pocket, the ring remaining in his other hand as he watched over her.

With no pretense or reasoning, he reached for her hand and held it delicately in his large, rough fingertips. He watched her eyes move rapidly beneath her eyelids. He watched her as she dreamed, so tenderly and peacefully that he had no words to describe how heavenly she looked in that bed. "I love you, baby." He whispered, his attention then brought to the sound of the door opening, and the unwanted groan of the hinges.

"Mister Booth?" A man's voice whispered not gently, but assertively in his direction, and the tone was one of serious consideration, the accent unmistakably French. It was unfamiliar, so in his testament of protection, he turned his head to see a man standing with a clipboard and white lab coat, waiting to be recognized. He was fairly young, but not too young as to require an ID from the agent, but young enough to warrant another moment of pause before he decided to leave his vigil from her bedside. "May I speak to you for a moment please?" He asked, his voice taking on a more sympathetic tone as he noted the pause in the older man's actions.

"I will be right there." He nodded, his words whispered as if he were trying to ensure that he didn't wake the object of his love and desire. He carefully lifted the ring to his hand closest to her and he very slowly, very carefully slipped it onto her finger. "Just in case you wake up, you'll know that I'm here." He whispered, standing slowly, he leaned down to kiss her lips tenderly, feeling that her skin had cooled considerably since the last time he had touched her face. "I love you." He said, stealing a glance to her for another moment or two, before walking toward the doctor, his eyes flashing to the bed as he quietly walked from the room with the doctor.

* * *

_She felt a hand in hers, strong and firm and her eyes opened slowly, her body was so achy, and she felt so tired and full of pain, her heart beating in her chest was sounding so loud in her ears. The hand in hers was so steady she was sure she knew who it was, and when she turned her head to see what she expected, she was speechless. Sitting beside her bed, holding her hand so strongly was her mother, her eyes catching hers as she smiled._

_"Temperance." She whispered, her eyes smiling with her words, and her heart beating faster as a warm feeling washed over her. _

_"Mom?" She whispered._

_"I love you." She said, running a hand across her cheek as she watched her daughter looking up at her. _

_" I don't understand." She whispered weakly._

_"There's nothing to understand, sweetheart… but you're going to have to wake up soon."_

_"I… don't know what that means." She whispered. "I am awake." She looked down at her hands, tied to the bed with silken rope, she looked up at her mother. "Why are they holding me down?" She asked._

_"For your own safety. You're very sick, sweetheart."_

_"I'm not sick. Where is Angela? Why are you here?" She whispered. She wasn't alarmed, but instead felt a tender calmness over her, as if the restraints were keeping hold on her fears as well. She felt something pulling at her hands, the ropes fraying and disappearing from her hands, she lifted her hand and moved it, feeling freer, and the pain of the burning ropes massaged by invisible fingers as she watched her mother sitting beside her._

_Her mother said nothing, just continued to hold her hand, looking into her eyes so tenderly as if she were waiting for something to happen. She then pulled her hand from her daughter's, standing as she looked down at her, her eyes moving between her hand and her face. "I love you, baby." She whispered, though her voice sounded different. It sounded deeper, wrong… familiar, yet unfamiliar coming from those lips. She wanted to speak but found she was unable, her mother's attention was on hers and then it changed, her hand touching hers suddenly, and she could feel her mother's fingertips moving over her skin yet the touch didn't quite match her mother's fingers, they were a little rougher than her mother's hands, yet so gentle and loving, so inviting. _

_Her mother than reached for her hand, unrestrained by the ropes, she could still feel the pain in her wrists, she could still feel where they had been tied tightly to her skin. And her mother lifted her hand, putting her thumb and forefinger on her ring finger, her mother slipped a ring onto her daughter's finger, her eyes never meeting hers as her lips moved, but another voice came forth and touched her heart. "Just in case you wake up, you'll know I'm here." She whispered, she leaned down and kissed her daughter's lips tenderly, and she could feel the pressure against her skin as her mother looked into her eyes. "I love you." She whispered._

Brennan found herself taking a deep breath suddenly, her eyes closing tightly as she sucked in a breath, deeply into her lungs, her eyes popping open, she expected to see her mother standing above her, and found herself alone in a hospital bed, listening to the sound of her own heart beating in a synchronized tone on a low volume monitor nearby, her body soaked in sweat, her muscles sore and pain filled, and her wrists strangely sore and burning. She lifted her hand, noting the burns on her wrists from the ties, she was confused and disoriented, because the pain she was feeling now was different than before, it was more real, it was sharper and more profound. She swallowed hard and looked around, hearing nothing but the whirring of the monitor, and the sound of low voices outside the door, she began to panic, her hand reaching for the railing of the bed, she heard a soft click of something tapping the metal of the rail, and her eyes widened the moment she spied the ring on her finger.

"No." She whispered, tugging at the ring from her finger, she began to panic. "No… no… no… No…!" She said as she started to sob, the door opening quickly as Booth stepped into the room, followed by the doctor. As soon as she saw him, she gasped, her eyes red and sore, her body nearly hanging off the bed as she reached her hand back and hurled the ring at him with all the strength she had. "I want to wake up! Goddamn it! Let me wake up!" She screamed. The ring clattered to the floor at his feet, and for a moment he didn't know what to do. She looked like she was ready to run from the room if he made one wrong move, and he was very concerned that she was going to hurt herself. His first priority was to make sure that she was actually awake, and this wasn't just one of her dreams.

"Bones." He said, watching her tip her head in wonder for a moment, her breathing seemed to slow. "Bones, calm down, it's okay."

"Booth?" She whispered.

"I'm here."

"I just want to wake up." She whispered, swallowing hard, her eyes searched his as he stepped forward toward her bed, and carefully rested her back down onto her pillow, her body trembling as he leaned down and kissed her forehead. He looked into her eyes after a moment and took her hand in his.

"I'm here, Bones." He said into her eyes, immediately noticing the change within their depths. "I'm really here." He said, sliding the ring onto her finger, he then wrapped his arms around her in an all encompassing hug, simply to prove his existence to her. "I'm here, and I love you."


	10. I Love Your Guts

Her fingers were pressing into his flesh, her head resting against his chest, and his hand held her tightly against him. He kissed the top of her head again and again, feeling the desperation in her grasp. "I'm here, baby. I'm here." He whispered.

He felt her fingernails digging into his skin as he hugged her, and the doctor's words behind him fell on two sets of deaf ears as the two lovers reunited desperately. "Don't leave me." She whispered against his chest, hearing his strong heartbeat in her ear, she gripped him tightly so that he wouldn't disappear into her dreams again. "Please don't disappear."

"I'm not going anywhere, Bones. I'm not going anywhere, I'm here… I'm right here."

"This doesn't feel like a dream."

"It's not a dream… it's not a dream, I'm here." He said against her. "I'm real… I'm real, baby… just listen to my heartbeat, can you hear it?"

"Yes." She whispered.

"You know my heartbeat… remember? You know it… that's what you told me. Don't you remember?"

* * *

_Lying against one another in Booth's bed, her head was against his chest, and her hand moved rhythmically over the fabric of his t-shirt, and her ear was pressed hard against his sternum as she listened to each and every beat of his heart very carefully._

_"Your heartbeat is different." She whispered._

_"It's different?" He asked, running his fingers through her hair, he felt her hand on his lips._

_"Shh, I'm listening." She said softly._

_"What are you listening for?" He asked softer, her head lifting as she gave him a disapproving look. "I'm sorry." He replied, a sheepish grin on his face as he listened to her breathing, waiting patiently for an explanation._

_"It's loud… very loud." She whispered. "Very strong…" She said, waiting for him to interrupt. "It's slower than mine. It's more relaxed." She drifted off. "The rhythm is different… it's hard to explain, perhaps it is an anomaly." She whispered._

_"Like my heart is bad?" He whispered._

_"No, like your heart is good." She whispered. "Hush now, I'm trying to memorize it." She whispered._

* * *

He shifted slightly and kissed the top of her head. "Bones, look at me." He said softly. "Please look at me Temperance."

She seemed to stiffen her body a bit at the use of her given name, and her ear remained firmly against his chest. "Shh…" She whispered.

"Bones, do you know where you are?" He whispered tenderly, feeling her body rocking against his slightly.

"No." She whispered.

"You're in a hospital, Bones… in Paris… do you remember…"

"My lecture." She gasped, pulling away from him suddenly, she stared into his eyes, her jaw slacked, her hands just resting on his chest as their eyes finally met. "My lecture…" She whispered.

"Yes." He whispered.

"What happened?"

"Bones, you passed out… you had a really, really high fever… and you passed out from dehydration." He said, referring to the fluids that were being put into her body to replenish her body's supply of fluid.

"Why are you here?" She asked, her brow furrowing as if she were still trying to figure everything out in her mind. "It doesn't make any sense… you are supposed to be in Afghanistan. You're not supposed to…"

"I'm on leave, Bones." He said quickly. He flinched when he said those words, as if there was something more behind them that he wasn't saying. "You said you were going to be in Paris for Christmas… I wanted to be here with you."

"Where have you been? I thought something happened to you?" She asked, her voice becoming stronger, more resilient, her body pulling farther from his, he knew that she was retreating quickly, so carefully he climbed from the bed. "They didn't tell me you were on leave, why wouldn't they tell me that when I called? Booth?"

"I'm not sure, baby." He whispered, his voice was at a near beg. "I'm not sure why they didn't tell you anything, but I'm here… and I'm alive, and I'm okay, and you don't have to worry about it now."

"There is something that you're not telling me, Booth." She said with a slight pout, her voice accusing him, he sighed and shook his head.

"There are some things I'm not telling you… you're right. They're not anything for you to worry about."

"Were you wounded?" She whispered.

"Do I look wounded?" He asked, a cocky grin on his face as he shook his head elicited a glare. "I'm not wounded, Bones. I'm on leave."

"Then why aren't you spending Christmas with Parker?"

"Rebecca is taking him on some ski weekend in Colorado… he's not even going to realize I'm not there." Booth said, his voice filled with a tinge of regret. "I wanted to come to Paris to see you."

"I was scared, Booth." She said, her voice soft, if not a whimper and he wanted to just pull her into his arms, but he could tell by the tone in her voice that she wanted some space. The admission of fear was a very big thing for Brennan, and he knew that he couldn't take her words lightly. "I was really scared."

"I know." He nodded, unsure if there was anything more that he could say. "And when I saw you at the lecture, I knew that you were sick." He whispered.

"You talked to the doctor." She whispered, watching his head nod solemnly, she felt the pain of guilt in her gut as she watched his face grow serious.

"You knew that you were sick, Bones…"

"I thought it was getting better." She admitted. "What is it?" She asked. "Is it treatable? I need to go back to Maluku, and if I have something contagious…"

"It's Dengue Fever, Bones… not contagious, but if you get it again, it could be worse."

"Dengue…" She whispered. Her eyes were moving slightly, reading his face as she ran through the symptoms in her head, her lips moving slightly as she ran through the encyclopedia of facts that she was certain of.

"Yes." He said softly. "Which means that you had to have been sick for a couple of days now." He replied, watching her eyes move from his. "Bones…" He said softly.

"Don't say it, Booth."

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"I said not to say it." She snapped, her eyes flashing to his, already filled with tears. "I hate it when you apologize. I hate it!" She exclaimed, slapping her hand at him, she watched him shake his head.

"But I am sorry, Bones. This shouldn't have happened… if I had been talking to…"

"No, Booth. No. Stop!" She exclaimed. "Stop apologizing to me!"

"Bones, stop being stubborn."

"You stop being selfish!" She exclaimed, she set her head back on the pillow.

"Bones." He said, his voice strong as he took her shoulders and looked her directly in the eyes. "Look at me." He whispered. "Bones, look at me, please?"

She turned her head slowly and looked him in the eyes, and he could see the sadness in her eyes, the torment and the fear that he had been gone. "What, Booth?" She whispered.

"I love you, baby… and I'm not going anywhere… if something happened to me, you would know it."

"That's what I was afraid of." She whispered. "I was afraid that what I was feeling… wasn't a real sickness."

"Bones." He whispered.

"I was afraid that I was grieving your loss without actually knowing for a fact that something had happened. I was afraid that I was…"

"You were going with your gut, huh?" He whispered, his voice reassuring as he reached for her and pulled her against his chest.

"Yes." She whispered.

"And it just so happened, that your gut was wrong." He whispered.

"So it seems." She whispered.

"Well I'm here…" He whispered. "And I'm not going anywhere for a while."


	11. Caught In The Sparkle Of Your Eyes

When Temperance woke again, she panicked a little as she moved and felt no warm body pressed against hers. Her eyes opened quickly, and she took a quick gasp of breath as she sat up, her eyes meeting with a familiar pair of dark eyes, though not the ones she had expected or hoped for.

"Booth?" She whispered, watching her friend's eyes light up, she smiled at her friend.

"He just stepped out for a minute, sweetie." Angela said softly. "He called us as soon as you woke up." Angela said softly as she watched the confusion in her friends eyes clear slowly.

"Did he tell you anything?" She whispered, swallowing hard, Angela reached for a cup of water that was sitting beside her, and she handed it to her friend.

"He told us what the doctor said." Hodgins said from the other side of the bed. She turned her head slowly, the pain still throbbing as she took a slow, rattling deep breath as she closed her eyes.

"Be careful… don't move so quickly, Sweetie." Angela said, touching her friend's forehead, she felt that it was cool to the touch. "Your fever is gone…"

"Good." She said, taking a slow sip of the water through the straw. "I can go home." She said as she tried to sit up a little, finding her muscles were still incredibly sore.

"No, no… you're not going anywhere…" Angela said softly.

"I ruined your time with me enough already. If I go back to the apartment, then…"

"You're not going anywhere." A deep voice came from behind the curtain as it was pulled aside, Booth stepped out and held a cup of coffee out to Angela, who smiled and thanked him quietly, and another cup across to Hodgins.

"Oh… Coffee… thanks man." Hodgins said with a smile.

"Booth, you aren't a doctor. If my fever is gone, and my fluids have been replenished, then it would be fine for me to…"

"No." Hodgins said with a shake of his head. "You're not going home."

"See, he's a doctor." Booth pointed out, nodding toward Hodgins, he gave Brennan a pointed look.

"He's a botanist…" Bones sighed. "He's not even the right kind of doctor."

"And a mineralogist… and an entomologist… which studies insects… and Dengue fever, it's spread by mosquitoes, which are insects… so therefore… I'm the right kind of doctor." Hodgins said proudly.

"The degrees of separation do not make you qualified to treat me, Hodgins. You're not a medical doctor." She argued.

"Well, she's certainly feeling better." Angela said with a laugh as they all laughed but Brennan.

"Your medical doctor…" Booth said in a haughty tone. "He said you're not to be released until at least forty eight hours after your fever broke… to ensure that your temperature doesn't spike again."

Brennan sat silently for a moment, her eyes moving to each person in the room as they sipped their coffee and waited for some sort of argument. "Where's my coffee?" She asked, looking to Booth with a bit of a pout on her face. Her eyes were wide and curious, and he was very close to handing her his cup of coffee.

"You're supposed to be getting rehydrated, sweetie. They said no caffeine or stimulants. You're going to have to stay here, Bren." Angela replied, watching Brennan's eyes stare at the coffee for a moment, and lift to Booth. She sighed and looked back at her friend.

"What does that mean about Christmas?" She asked, tipping her head. "You and I were going to go shopping."

"Are you kidding me?" Angela said with a laugh. "You hate shopping for me. I wouldn't be surprised if you faked this whole thing just so you wouldn't have to go." She said, watching Brennan open her mouth to protest before she realized her friend was just kidding around. "The doctor said that if you're doing better by Friday, he'll discharge you then."

"I'd like to talk to the doctor personally…"

"You're going to try to persuade him into releasing you today?" Booth said, his voice humored as he found that he was not surprised that she would try to use her stubborn demeanor to get her way.

"We already spoke with him honey… he's not going to change his mind just because you use your scientist speak. He's a very good doctor, and they're taking very good care of you here."

She huffed and leaned back on her pillow her head turning so she was looking Booth straight in the eyes. He had been keeping a safe distance from her since she had woken up, so she was certain that he hadn't shared the news of their changed relationship with their friends. His eyes were speaking to her, begging her to take it easy, and she could feel the warmth of his arms even though there was a distance between them. Her tongue involuntarily ran across her lower lips, and she watched his eyes move to them, before flickering back to her face.

"So Booth, you never really told us why you were in Paris." Hodgins said, and Brennan looked to the doctor before turning her gaze back on Booth, who instantly looked nervous, having been put on the spot. Brennan watched him carefully as he gave a smile, almost sheepish as he shrugged.

"I found out Bones was going to be here for Christmas… that she had a lecture… and since Parker wasn't going to be around, I decided to make a surprise visit. I'll see Parker after the New year… then I go back." He shrugged.

"So you came all the way to Paris… for a visit?" Hodgins asked with a knowing chuckle as Booth shrugged.

"Sounds to me like it's a pretty big step for a friend to make." Angela said in a 'hinting' voice, that Brennan didn't exactly catch, but Booth heard it loud and clear. "Where were you planning on staying?" She asked, a slight smile on her lips as she watched him shift a bit uncomfortably, before settling and giving her a challenging look.

"There were some flats that rent by the week… I've been staying there for about a week now."

"You've been in Paris for a week?" Brennan asked, her eyes widened in surprise as she gave him a look that could have passed as hurt. "You… you were here…?"

"I was trying to find my way around the city… get myself situated, Bones. I had just spent six months in the desert, I wasn't as presentable as I am now." He said, watching the sad look on her face as she turned her attention away from him.

"She was waiting for two weeks for you to call or write, Booth." Angela said in an accusing tone.

"And I apologized." Booth replied. "There was a lot of stuff going on, and…"

"And you couldn't have pick up a phone?" Hodgins said with a scoffing laugh.

"Hey… I wanted to surprise her." Booth said innocently as he watched Brennan's face turn to look at him, the tears in her eyes broke his heart. "Bones. I didn't think you'd jump to conclusions like that. I didn't think that you of all people would assume that I was hurt or dead. You knew that I had missions, you knew that I was training and that I could be out of range for days or weeks…"

"I'm tired." She whispered, sniffling a little as she tried to hide the pain she was feeling, but it was written all over her face.

"I'm… I'm going to go, okay?" Booth said as he stood up. "You… you spend some time with Ange and Hodgins… and I'll go get some…some fresh air or something, okay? I'm sorry." He said, watching as she nodded, her eyes not facing him. "I'll come back a little later, okay?" He said, watching her nod her head again. Without thinking of the other two in the room, he leaned down and touched her chin with his finger, forcing her face to turn in his direction. Her eyes were closed for a moment, and she found that she couldn't deny her attention to him, opening them slowly, she could see the sorrow in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Bones… you know that, right?"

"Mmhm…" She nodded slowly.

"Feel better." He whispered, watching her nod again, catching every single instance of 'I love you', in every sparkle of his eye, before he turned and made his way quietly from the room, leaving them in the deafening silence of his departure.


	12. Forgiveness is Divine Intervention

The moment Booth stepped out onto the street from the warmth of the hospital, he felt the chill of the December air, and he bundled himself tighter as he walked. The sun was set and it was starting to get darker out, so the biting chill of the winter wind was a bit brutal, though he found that the punishing cold was fitting for his mood, and a mild respite from the guilt that was churning his stomach. He walked aimlessly, his eyes focused on the ground as his feet pulled him from sidewalk to sidewalk in this unfamiliar city of strangers, most speaking French, and those who weren't were carrying cameras and chattering in their own language.

There weren't many crowds on the streets, those who were passing were doing so quickly, traveling from shop to shop looking for a memento or last minute Christmas gift for a friend or loved one. He felt a chill run down his spine as he heard Brennan's voice in his head, the words from the airport.

_"Please don't be a hero. Please… just… don't be you."_

Don't be you. She had told him to not be himself, and though he had tried his hardest to listen, to obey those words, at the end of the day, when he was lying on the military issue 'bed' or cot, or…ground, whatever they chose to call it from day to day. When he finally settled down at the end of the day and was able to concentrate on whatever happened to be above him at that moment, his mind always went back to her, and his emotions, guilt, fears, and his need to protect her. He would close his eyes tightly and picture her face. Sometimes she was smiling, her hair cascading down to her shoulders, her eyes bright and full of wonder and a soft tenderness that he sometimes felt that only he was privy to. Sometimes he pictured her standing in the lab, a table of bones before her, her fingers sliding gracefully over them as if they were performing a memorization scan of every bump, ridge, dimple, and curve… those thoughts would almost always transition to thoughts that would transition of the memory of his own fingers, trailing over her silken skin, his lips following suit as his tongue would find ever bump, ridge, dimple, and curve on her body, and taste it until she begged for more. These thoughts were the most dangerous, for it was those thoughts that would drive him mad when he'd shake himself from them and find that he was alone, and would be that way for months to come.

His feet splashed into a puddle, sending his eyes skyward, and his focus came upon an incredible building that he recognized immediately. The gothic structure stood before him in all its glory, the large bell towers reaching up into the sky, and a large Christmas tree stood outside, decorated in brightly colored lights that reflected across the damp sidewalks and roads surrounding it. His eyes remained on the monstrous yet heavenly colored stained glass windows, the arches and flying buttresses of the cathedral were unique and weathered with age, yet strangely inviting, like dozens of arms beckoning him closer. He stepped down the damp sidewalk path toward the tree, walking with the tourists and citizens as they talked about their holiday plans, or other mundane things that Booth had no interest in saying, and as he approached the doors. His eyes skated over the fascinating statues and relief in the stone of the catholic fortress, and his ears were tickled with the sound of a chorus singing from within.

Making his way into the cathedral, he quietly stood in the back, watching tourists and others taking pictures and whispering to one another, several people sat in pews quietly minding their own business as the choir practiced for the Christmas mass. He settled in one of the pews, carefully unbuttoning his coat as he stared at the beauty that surrounded him, his back resting against the wooden seat, a moaning creak beneath his weight as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath of the air around him.

He kept his eyes closed as he tried to concentrate on the peace he was hoping to invoke upon himself. He heard the sound of shuffling beside him, and the gentle creak of the bench as someone sat down beside him. He reveled in the peacefulness of the cathedral, the angelic voices of the chorus before him, and the company of a stranger sitting beside him was not something that bothered him. His attention was brought when the person beside him began to speak.

Her French was fluid and clear, and her voice was tender and motherly, and when he turned his head, he noticed that her eyes were on him. She was a smaller, elderly woman, who carefully placed her cane on the pew beside her.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, shaking his head a little. "I… I don't speak French very well." He said, watching the woman's blue eyes sparkle a little as she smiled and shook her head a little.

"I find your honesty refreshing." She said fluently in English, though it was clear from her accent that it was not her first language. "Most people just ignore me and get up." She said with a slight chuckle. "No one wants to listen to an old woman's rambling."

Booth smiled at the woman's honest eyes and demeanor. "No, it's fine." He said softly.

"You're a soldier." She said softly, no question in her voice whatsoever, and he gave her a gentle nod.

"Former soldier, ma'am." He replied.

She nodded and brought her attention to the choir in the front of the church. "You were wounded?" She asked, raising her eyebrows as Booth chuckled a little.

"No, Ma'am… not wounded."

"Well then, you look like a strong young man… Why are you not out there solving the world's problems like your country wants you to?" She asked, her voice blatantly sarcastic.

Booth's eyes met hers, and he could see that she was hoping for a reaction, and he smiled at her response, shaking his head. "Hey… I tried." He chuckled. "But apparently what is up here…" He pointed at his head, and then patted his chest. "And what is here… are clearly not on speaking terms." He said, knowing that if he had said that sentence to Brennan, he would have quite the explanation in front of him.

"So you were wounded." The woman said simply. Her words were sincere, and when Booth looked to her, her eyes were closed. "You left the military because of a woman." she said definitively, smiling when she heard his nervous laugh.

"Well, it wasn't because of a woman, really… and I didn't leave. I was discharged early."

"And now you come all the way to Paris, France to confess your sins?" She asked with a laugh. "That is a long way from home, young man."

Booth let out a slight chuckle and shook his head, catching the sly grin on the woman's lips. "She is here in Paris visiting friends. I came to her."

"Ah…" She nodded. "You need her."

"Like I need oxygen." He replied simply.

"A bit overdramatic don't you think there, young man?"

"Maybe." He laughed a little, sighing, his eyes rose to the colorful stained glass windows, the designs intricately displayed. "Maybe not." He whispered. "I lied to her. I promised I wouldn't betray her, and I did, I looked right into her eyes and I lied to her." Booth said, catching the woman's eyes, she could see the despair within his.

"She will forgive you. You seem to be an honest man, and even honest men need to bend the truth to protect the people that they love."

"I am ashamed." He whispered.

"Of a lie?"

"Yes." He whispered. "The fact that I lied…the content of the lie… and the circumstances surrounding it. It's complicated." He whispered.

"It doesn't sound complicated at all." She replied. "You lied. That's all that stands in the way of you and your pride. God knows that you lied, you were willing to come here and tell Him the truth… why wouldn't you be willing to tell the woman that you love the truth?"

"I…" he stammered for a moment, noting that she had caught him in a corner, he quickly found his words. "I am not afraid of not being forgiven. I am more afraid of her pain. We spent five years walking in the opposite direction of our feelings, and I am afraid that she will use this as proof that I am not worthy. I would do anything to prevent her from more pain."

"Then you must take the first step." She said with a kind smile as she carefully stood, pulling her cane from the pew beside her, she touched Booth's shoulder and smiled. "She can't forgive you for the lie if you don't tell her the truth, and the longer you wait… the more pain she will feel when the truth is revealed. Communication, young man… because she can't hear what you want her to hear from God's house… He won't tell her, it has to be you." She said. "It was nice to meet you." She said, holding her hand out to him softly, she nodded when he placed his large hand against hers and shook it softly.

"Seeley Booth." He nodded politely.

"Lela Depaul, young man… it was a pleasure to meet you."

"Thank you." He said, releasing her hand, he watched her walk slowly down the aisle, glancing back to him, he waved politely as she walked toward the candles, and he closed his eyes once again, bowing his head he silently prayed for the strength to follow through with what he needed to do. He opened his eyes when he realized the choir had stopped singing, and was now gathering their belongings to leave. Most of the tourists had cleared out, and he looked to his watch to see the late hour. It appeared that they were preparing to close the cathedral for the night.

Booth stood, stretching his tired muscles as he yawned, glancing toward the tables that held the prayer candles, glittering brightly, casting shadows against the wall and ceiling, and anything else the reflection of the flames touched. He walked toward the candles slowly, noting the peacefulness of the grand cathedral, he stepped to the prayer candles and paid a modest sum, lifting the flame to the candle, he closed his eyes and made a brief request into the empty air, dropping the light onto the candle, he took a deep breath to take in the prayers of a thousand souls that sit before him, before releasing it slowly. He then turned, quickly buttoned his coat, and made his way through the cathedral to the exit, in search of peace, solitude, and forgiveness from the woman he loves.


	13. Because I Need You

He expected her to be asleep when he walked into her room, curled against the pillow as she had been earlier that afternoon. Though he wasn't surprised to find her awake and staring at the door of the room, he could still say that he wasn't expecting it, but he should have been. The room was empty but for her, and the lights were turned down in an attempt to get her to sleep, and when Angela and Hodgins left an hour earlier, they thought that she had drifted to sleep, her eyes closed tightly, her breathing slow and regulated, and the occasional sleepy involuntary twitch that was just visible to someone who was looking for it.

The moment that the door had closed behind her best friend and her friend's husband, however, her eyes had opened wide, and her head turned to face the door, as she willed it to open and reveal the one person that she wanted and needed to talk to. Part of her wanted to be angry with him, part of her wanted him to just pull her into his arms and hold her, and part of her just wanted an answer to the millions of questions that she had rolling through her mind. The sedatives she had been given had slowly worn away, and with that, came the uneasy sleeplessness and worry that had plagued her for the past two weeks.

She had seen the look on his face when he had left the room, and she knew that look very well.

Shame.

She knew that he was shameful for something, and it wasn't because he hadn't contacted her for two weeks. She knew there was more to that look, she could see it in his eyes, she could see it in the way his head lowered when he walked from the room, and she knew from the time that he had spent away from her, that he was thinking about it. There was never a moment where she thought that he wouldn't return to her room, she knew that she would just have to wait for him, so she lie on the bed, her eyes focused on the door, and she silently hoped that it would be soon.

When the door opened, she made sure to focus on his face and not turn her head away. She knew that any emotions he was feeling would be written like hieroglyphics in his eyes. A language and writing that only a select few could decipher, she needed to see it in its purest form, directly face to face. She held no surprise in her features at his return, only need, and when he stepped into the room, his focus moved directly to her face, and he immediately noticed that she was reading him. His eyes lit up slightly, when he noticed the look on her face, that squinty look that she always seemed to reserve for her one true love, her anthropology. His lips curled slightly, happy that he hadn't woken her, though concerned that she wasn't getting the rest that she needed. "You're awake." He stated, his voice holding back a bit, and he could see the stubbornness streak through her eyes like lightning.

"I was waiting for you."

"You knew that I was coming back." He replied, his eyes focused on hers as he stepped forward toward the bed, crouching down, reaching for her hand.

"Yes." She whispered.

"Then why didn't you go to sleep?"

"I worry about you."

His only response to that was a gently rolling of his thumb over her hand, the tender warmth of his touch was soothing and real, and she didn't feel quite as alone as she had in the moments before he took her hand. "Bones."

"I always worry about you." She interrupted, her voice cracking slightly, and he watched helplessly as her eyes filled with tears.

"Hey." He whispered, attempting to lift his hand from hers, she gripped it tightly and shook her head.

"No, let them fall." She whispered, forcing him to watch the tears slide down her skin, dropping needlessly onto the pillowcase. "Let them fall…" She said, feeling his hand pull from hers, he didn't listen as he ran his thumb easily over her cheek, the rough pad of his finger soaking the teardrop that she had been willing to fall into his skin, he watched her eyes close. "You never listen." She whispered, attempting to roll onto her back, she pushed her cheek against his hand and stubbornly moved from the intensity of his gaze.

"I listen." He whispered. "Tell me what you're thinking."

She took a deep breath, again and again, her focus on the ceiling as he remained crouched beside her bed, he could see another teardrop make its way down the contours of her cheek, sliding down her temple, he watched the droplet slide against her ear, and followed it until it joined the other tear on the pillowcase. She took in a deep, rattling breath, her lips trembling as she released it in a heavy, emotion filled sigh. "I worry about you all of the time. I thought… that if I didn't know exactly where you were… that I could compartmentalize… I could at least trust you to keep yourself safe." She whispered. She turned her head and could see the shame in his eyes. "What did you do, Booth?" She whispered.

"Bones." He whispered again, and the stubbornness in her eyes had gone from a flash, to a fully involved inferno. There was no getting around it… he would need to brave the flames, and risk the possibility of being engulfed by them, or try his best to dance around them, only to burn himself slowly enough to not feel the pain until it was too late to do anything about it. "Bones…I didn't want to hurt you."

"Are you referring to the two weeks that you were without contact, or are you referring to something else?" She asked, her voice was almost back to its normal, clinical self and for that, he was concerned.

"I never want to hurt you." He replied, watching the flames of stubbornness become higher, as her eyes narrowed slightly. He could see that her chin was dimpling slightly, a sign of fear, not anger, and he knew that if he didn't douse the flames soon, they would take them both down with them. "Bones, I am not on leave." He whispered.

Her mouth opened slightly, her eyes widened. "You deserted?"

"Not quite." He said with a painful cringe.

"What did you do, Booth?" She whispered, knowing the only other option.

"Bones." He whispered, thinking for a moment that she could possibly think he had done something wrong crossed his mind, and that was what he feared most, that she would believe that he could do something to hurt another person. He was a dangerous man when he needed to be, not one filled with vengeance, but one filled with pride. Pride of his country, pride of his loved ones, pride of his comrades and friends. He would do anything to protect those around him, and he was now terrified that she would think less of him, that she would think the worst of him, that she would feel as shameful as he felt.

"You say my name as if you expect me to break your heart with my next words. I'm not going to cut you down, Booth. I'm not going to jump to conclusions… but you are making me concerned that you're not telling me things that I should know. Why are you here?"

"Because I need you."

"Why were you discharged?"

"Because I need you." He whispered.

"That's not a reason." She shook her head, her brow furrowing in distaste, her throat now dry, just from the look in his eyes.

"Why did you let yourself get so sick?" He asked, watching the flame flicker in her eyes. "Temperance?" He whispered, seeing it flicker a little more.

"That's unfair." She whispered, the strength in her voice diminished.

"Tell me."

"Because…" She whispered. She swallowed hard, and Booth watched her eyes close as she did so, as if it were painful. "Because." She said again, her voice was a simple whisper.

"It's okay, baby." He whispered, carefully running his finger over her cheek to capture the inevitable tear that would be trailing there in a moment.

"Because I need you." She whispered, allowing the sob that was captured in that hard swallow to escape, and her arm reached out to grip his shirt as she pulled him toward her, capturing his lips with hers, she felt a droplet trace down her skin, and with the knowledge that it wasn't her tear that had dropped onto her cheek, she knew that whatever confession was to come, they would survive it, and they would persevere, because when it came down to the truth, and its consequences… they were never alone as long as they had the other to hold through the pain.


	14. In My Dreams

Finally they both calmed, their arms wrapped warmly around one another, they melted into one another's embrace easily, and he kissed her head as he rocked her gently against him. "Where did you go?" She whispered, her question floating gingerly in the air, he waited a moment for answering. He kicked his shoes from his feet and carefully pulled himself up onto the bed, tucking her body into his, she waited patiently for his answer, as he tried to find comfort.

"I went to talk to someone." He whispered, brushing his fingers through her hair gently, he kissed her through her hair, breathing in the scent of the tangled locks.

"Who?" She whispered.

"God." He replied, hearing a slight release of air from her lungs. It could have been relief, it could have been a yawn, it could have been irritation for all he knew, his partner notorious for her denial of the existence of what she calls an 'invisible super being'. "Bones, before you..."

"No." She shook her head, her eyes meeting his in a look of understanding. She nodded tenderly. "I understand." Her lips were together in the tenderest smile, and her eyes reflected the understanding that she had spoken of.

"You're feeling better." He whispered, noting the twitch in the corner of her lips, a concealed smile given away by her involuntary need to respond to him.

"I'm tired." She whispered, moving her head down, she settled it into the hollow of his neck, her warm breath tickling his skin as it skated across it.

"You didn't have to wait for me, Bones. You knew that I was coming back."

"I knew that you were coming back, but I couldn't sleep without you." She said, and with those words, she could feel his body tense slightly, his hand stopped rubbing lightly on her arm, and she sensed that he was holding his breath a bit. "Booth?" She whispered.

"Shh…" He said softly, kissing her hair again, he relaxed a bit, but she could still feel the tension in his body. "You rest… get better, so we can spend Christmas together." He whispered against her hair.

"You can't just push it away, Booth." She whispered. "You can't avoid it."

"Temperance, please." He shook his head against her, she could hear the desperation in his voice, the fear, the shame. She could feel the need that he had for her not to push.

"You will tell me?"

"Yes."

"Just not tonight."

"No."

"But you'll hold me? Keep me safe?"

"Forever." He whispered.

"Sleep, Booth." She whispered.

"I will." He said softly, closing his eyes against her scent and her body, he felt her slowly melt into him, as her body relaxed into sleep, though his own mind was lost in a tangled world of its own, and for him, sleep was not found as easily.

* * *

His promise lasted through the night, the nurse's visits were short and silent as they checked her temperature through the night, and any rest he had gotten was interrupted with any sound other than her soft breathing against his skin.

He watched the sun rise through the half closed slits of his eyes, and felt her move against him. "Booth?" She whispered, moving against his chest, her hand rested on his sternum as she pushed herself against him and looked up at him, his eyes opening wider as he stretched slightly. "You never fell asleep." She whispered, looking into his eyes, she found no response to her statement, confirming her suspicions.

"It's fine." He said softly. "I was watching you sleep."

"It's not good for you." She whispered, concern filling her eyes as he watched her brow furrow, her hand still against his chest as he shook his head.

"Stop worrying about me, I slept a little. Just lay your head back down and rest."

"I'm done resting, I'm ready to go home." She said, scowling at him now.

"Bones. First… the sun just came up… Hodgins and Angela are probably still sleeping… second of all… not until the doctor clears you… thirdly? No." He said, closing his eyes to her narrowing eyes.

"I am going to be fine." She muttered, feeling a bit of dizziness behind the headache that was still present, as she moved a little, trying her best to not reveal the pain in her sore muscles.

"Mm… going to be?" He muttered. "Sleep, Bones."

"I'm fine." She said, watching the smirk on his face as he kept his eyes closed.

"Trying to sleep here, Bones." She let out a slight whine, and he patted her back. "Shh…" He whispered, sensing the rising irritation in the woman against him, he felt himself drifting off to sleep, and felt her pulling away from him slightly, but still holding her as his mind started to wander at the normalcy of their bickering, the comfortable feeling of her voice and stubbornness, his eyes rolled, and his mind drifted, and he fell into a deeper sleep than he had expected, only to be roused violently nearly a half hour later by the screaming alarms of Brennan's heart monitors.


	15. Flair for the Dramatic

Booth literally leapt from the bed at the screeching of alarms, having absolutely no idea what was going on. He expected to look to the bed and see his partner's lifeless body lying beside where he had been sleeping, but the bed was empty, and Brennan stood wide eyed and surprised across from him. "Jesus Christ, Temperance! I think you gave me a fucking heart attack!" He exclaimed as several nurses came running into the room.

"As a Catholic, I'm fairly sure you're not supposed to say that." She said, watching his face redden in anger. She looked at the surprised look on the nurses faces and she held the leads from the heart monitor in her hand. "I'm not dead…. You can all stop panicking." She said as Booth stalked around the bed.

"Lay down."

"I am not a dog, Booth." She said, looking to the nurses, she handed over the leads and watched as they moved about the room, turning the monitor off.

"I think you made my heart stop!" He exclaimed.

"Stop being so dramatic." She said, holding herself up at the side of the bed. "I have to go to the bathroom." She said, turning to one of the nurses, who nodded and helped her toward the small bathroom off of the room, Booth began to pace.

"Are you okay, sir?" The nurse asked, noticing that he wasn't doing very well, his reaction had been quite intense, and he appeared to be sweating a bit.

"No… no, yeah, I'm fine… just… she just… I'll be fine." He nodded.

"You're sure?" She asked, watching him hold the railing of the bed himself for a moment.

"Yeah, I just got up a bit too fast is all. Thanks." He said, seeming to calm down, he gave her a nod and she glanced back as she left the room, Booth walked over to the guest chair and sat down, waiting for Brennan to reappear. After a couple of minutes, she walked around the corner to find him sitting in the chair with his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes.

"You were sleeping pretty soundly." She said, nodding to the nurse to indicate that she could climb into the bed herself.

"Yeah." He said a bit harshly as he looked up at her. "Yeah, I was sleeping soundly… until you flat lined and I died." He spat out sarcastically. "Why couldn't you just call the nurse to help?"

"Because I didn't need help." She replied, pulling the blanket over her lap as she sighed. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." He said, rubbing his eye a little harder.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine, Temperance." He snapped, watching the surprise on her face, she swallowed hard. "I'm sorry, Bones." He whispered. "I'm fine… I'm okay now."

"Can I go home now?" She asked, watching as his eyes narrowed to an icy glare. "I'm kidding?" She said, swallowing hard as she gave him a sweet smile with her eyebrows arched.

"Right." He nodded.

"I'm sorry if I gave you heart palpitations." She said sincerely.

"I'll be fine." He said, his eyes on the floor, he rubbed his forehead with his hand, and looked up at her. "You're feeling better?"

"Yes." She stated clearly, her eyes a little clearer than they had been the day before, she looked as if the rest she had gotten overnight had been good for her. Her skin was a little pinker, and her eyes didn't look nearly as sunken in as when he had first seen her. "My muscles are still extremely sore, and I do have a dull headache behind my eyes, all residual effects of the fever, but I'm feeling better. I am rather hungry."

"I'm sure that now that you've made your presence known, the nursing staff will be more than willing to do anything to keep you quiet." Booth said, watching as she gave him a surprised look until she realized he was teasing.

"You're picking on me." She said, basking in the warmth of his smile, she held her hand to him, to which he obligingly grasped tightly in his hand.

"I'm actually surprised you didn't strap me to the bed and put your ID bracelet on me and sneak out of the hospital." He said, watching her eyes brighten at his playful words, she smiled.

"As pretty as you'd be as a woman, Booth… I don't believe you'd be able to pass yourself off as me." She said, leaning against the pillow, she smiled at his laugh.

"Just… don't rip out any more wires or tubes, or anything that makes that God awful sound, please?" He said with a sigh. "I have a hard enough time sleeping without thinking that I'm going to wake up to you dying, or dead… or… let's not even talk about that, okay?" He said, visibly cringing. "Let's talk about getting you some breakfast." He said, standing up.

"Sounds good to me." She said, watching as he walked toward the door, he opened it and glanced back at her.

"You stay in that bed, Temperance."

"I'll stay in the bed."

"Promise me."

"I promise." She said, rolling her eyes.

"I'm serious, Bones… If you…"

"Just go!" She exclaimed, watching him give her a quick faux glare before disappearing out the door. "Pain in the…"

"I'm still right here, Bones." He said, glancing back into the room, she glared at him, and his fingers slipped from the door, letting it close solidly behind him.


	16. Resistance is Futile

"Your foot touches the ground, and I'm shooting it off." Booth said, watching the challenging look in his partner's eyes.

"You don't even have your gun with you."

"Don't you dare get logical with me." He teased, hearing the door open, he was sure who was walking in, though the arguing forensic anthropologist hadn't noticed.

"I just want to take a walk. Just a walk… I've been in this bed for way too long. I just want to take a walk."

"Are you two still going at it?" Angela asked, as both of them looked in her direction, with Hodgins walking in behind. She had called nearly a half hour before to check on Brennan, and could hear her arguing against everything Booth had said on the phone in the background. Brennan looked to her friend with a surprised glance.

"He won't let me take a walk."

"She can hardly stand without getting dizzy!" Booth exclaimed. "She's going to end up falling on her head or something."

"I will not fall on my head, and I am feeling much better now. You are acting like a mother hen, and it's getting on my nerves. I am a grown woman."

"A grown woman, who twenty four hours ago was passed out, drugged out of her mind, and half dead!" Booth argued.

"I was not half dead!"

"Sweetie, you were pretty sick." Angela broke in, though her words weren't heard as the two of them continued bickering.

"We stumbled upon something that we really don't want to get in the middle of, didn't we?" Hodgins whispered to Angela, who rolled her eyes.

"You are the most stubborn woman that ever existed!" Booth exclaimed.

"How would you know who the most stubborn woman that ever existed was? You don't have enough time to make your own coffee in the morning, let alone meet every woman that ever existed!" Brennan exclaimed.

"Will you two just have sex already?" Angela said as the two of them stopped, their mouths hanging open. "I mean come on… if you just did it, we wouldn't be in the middle of this argument… you'd be too busy sucking one another's faces off to even talk, and the entire hospital would be better off." Angela said, her arms crossed over her chest as Hodgins let out a chuckle, to which his wife turned and glared at him.

"Sorry." He said with a light laugh.

Booth and Brennan were completely silent as he stood up suddenly and walked toward the other two guests. "You can deal with her now." He said with a grunt, sending a challenging glare in Brennan's direction. "Remember what I told you… foot on the floor… boom."

"Yeah, well… with the advances in prosthetics, I am sure I can manage if it means that I can get out of this stupid bed." She snapped back as he let out a frustrated growl and swung the door open, stomping his way out into the hallway. She let out her own frustrated growl and huffed, sitting back in the bed. "He is such a pigheaded alpha male sometimes… over protective meat face…"

Angela let out a laugh. "Head… the term is meathead… but… the alternative is rather humorous." She said, sitting down in the recently vacated seat. "How are you feeling, sweetie?"

"The doctor says your temperature hasn't risen… that's a good sign." Hodgins said cheerfully as he leaned against the bed, sitting up on the end of it, as Brennan sighed and looked toward the window.

"I'm missing Paris." She said with an irritated pout.

"You'll be here until at least New Year's, sweetie. You'll see Paris. Did Booth ever tell you why he's here?" Angela asked, her voice lowered as Brennan glanced to her friend quickly, shaking her head innocently.

"No… no, just… Christmas, I guess. I had told him I'd be speaking here, visiting you."

"It just seems a little odd to me that he was here a week ago? He knew Hodgins and I were in Paris, he knew you'd be here… why wouldn't he come look for us? Cam knows where we were staying, she says she hasn't heard from Booth in over a month."

"He has missions… assignments, he said that time sometimes gets away from him then. He's here, that's what matters." Brennan said softly, a hint of wistfulness in her voice.

"Well, I would have cracked his skull for being so close without contacting me, if I were you."

The door opened and Booth walked in holding a cup in his hand, he stepped wordlessly to the bed and handed it to Brennan with a half glare. She took the cup with curiosity and looked in at the contents, a humored look in her eyes as she glared back. "What is this?"

"What does it look like?"

"Coffee."

"It's a peace offering… stay in the bed, and there's more where that came from." He said, giving Angela and Hodgins another quick wave, he walked from the room again.

Brennan looked in the cup of coffee and took a sip from the cup, closing her eyes for a moment at the taste. She glanced to Angela and grinned. "Personally, I prefer guilt and bribery to physical violence." She said triumphantly, as Angela and Hodgins let out a laugh, the conversation now flowing easily as they continued their visit.


	17. Come Home

When Angela and Hodgins had left for dinner, Booth resumed his spot beside her on the chair. She had been able to spend a good deal of time on her laptop, and Booth was content playing tetris on his phone for a while, until he heard her release a loud sigh. "What's wrong?" He asked, looking up at her, she shrugged.

"I want to leave."

"Paris? But we just got here." Booth said, pushing buttons on his phone, he didn't look at her, but he heard the frustrated sigh, and the sound of her flopping back on the pillow.

"You know what I mean."

"You're not a prisoner… leave." He shrugged.

"You said that if I stepped off the bed, you'd shoot my foot off."

"You said yourself that I didn't have my gun." He shrugged, still not looking up at her.

"So I can go get my discharge papers?" She asked, a bit of challenge in her voice, she watched a smile rise on his lips, his attention still on his game.

"If you're one hundred percent sure that I don't have my gun." He grinned, looking up at her, he flipped his phone closed and looked up, and he smiled at her mischievous smile, that smile she always gave him when they were playing their little game of cat and mouse.

"Well… come over here, and I'll frisk you… pat you down… make sure that you don't have it, and then I'll know it's safe." She shrugged.

He stood up and approached her bed, and she quickly closed her laptop as he approached, he lifted it off her lap and put it on the rolling table over her lap, and softly rolled it away from the bed. "You're stepping into some very dangerous territory there, Doctor Brennan." He said, lifting himself up onto the bed, he sat beside her, leaning forward, he rubbed his nose with hers.

"I like danger." She whispered, the light in her eyes sparkling, despite the dull fluorescent bulbs of the hospital room. She heard a low growl in his voice as he answered.

"You like danger?" He asked.

"Yes." Her reply was whispered, and he felt her hand moving up and down on his arm, sending a bit of a chill through his skin, he could feel his need rising in him. His need to be close to her, to show her his love. "I missed you, too." She whispered as if reading his mind, her fingertips changing to fingernails scaling his muscles up and down as she watched him visibly shiver, and her eyes smiled in return.

"You have absolutely no idea how badly I have wanted to touch you in the past six months." He whispered breathily, feeling her hand clench his arm, he couldn't help but tilt his head and melt his lips onto hers. It was a tender kiss, a loving kiss, and everything that they had been dreaming of while apart. His hand moved to her head and he tucked it delicately at the nape, as he guided her lips tenderly in synchronization with his.

Breathless when the kiss was broken, he saw the smile in her eyes and lost any trace of any thought other than to kiss her, and though her eyes were full of happiness, her lips just held that reserved smile, that knowing smile, sly and mysterious. "I have a pretty good idea."

"You're in a hospital bed… it's probably not a good idea." He said, swallowing hard, they still were just a mere breath apart.

"I thought you were dangerous." She whispered breathily, her eyes dropping to his lips, and flashing up to his eyes again.

"Mmm… Bones…" He growled.

"You're a tease, Agent Booth."

"As are you…Doctor Brennan, as are you." He whispered, kissing her softly as he ran his finger over her cheek and sat up a little, taking her hand in his, his eyes moved to their hands, and she could tell that he was thinking about something. His face had gone solemn, and though he looked up at her and gave a trying smile, it didn't reach his eyes that time, and it was clear that he was troubled by something.

"What's wrong?" She whispered.

"Nothing." He shook his head. "Don't worry about it." He said, squeezing her hand, he slid from the bed, but when he tried to release her hand, she held tightly.

"No, it's not nothing. Booth, tell me. I will worry about it, because it's obviously something that is worrying you, and if you don't think that you can tell me, then…"

"I don't want you to go back to Maluku." He said, his eyes darkened as he turned them toward Brennan, she slipped her hand from his.

"I have to go back, Booth. I made a commitment."

"It's dangerous." He replied. "You got sick, you could have died, Bones… what if you passed out in your tent or hut or… hole or whatever?"

"I was fine, Booth… I was just a little dehydrated, and…"

"A little dehydrated? You looked like death up there at the podium… you were as white as a ghost… and then the next thing we know, blood was pouring out of your face, and you were being carted out by ambulances. You're not going back there." He said sternly.

"Booth, you're overreacting."

"I am not overreacting. Everything I said is true! And you heard the doctor! You contracted this… dung fever or whatever, and…"

"Dengue." She corrected. "Booth, it's Dengue… not dung."

"Whatever! You got sick, and the doctor says if you get it again, you could die! He said that once you've gotten it once, you're more at risk to get it much worse! Please… please come home with me."

"The odds of me contracting Dengue a second time is very remote."

"But it's still possible, Bones. It's still possible!" He said, standing up.

"It's possible for me to get run over by a bus in the street in Washington DC, Booth."

"No… because I'm with you in DC… and I would pull you back. I can't stop a stupid mosquito from biting you in the Indonesian jungle." He snapped. "But I can stop you from going."

"You can stop me?" She laughed bitterly as he stood up and faced her. "You're not going to stop me, Booth. I'm going back to Maluku. I made a commitment. It would be… irresponsible for me to go back on my contract with them. It would be stupid to give up that opportunity, when I could be home in six months, having fulfilled my obligation to them. They want me there, Booth. I don't have the luxury of being discharged at will. I am not going to abandon them without notice, and I was actually enjoying myself there… if not for Daisy's constant chattering, and my obligations to you and our partnership, I could see me extending my stay there."

"Oh, so I'm an obligation now?" He said angrily, his jaw set.

"I didn't mean that you're…"

"No." He said, stopping her mid-sentence. "No, I get it, Bones… I get it. I get it…" He said, clenching his fist. "And for your information… I didn't have the 'luxury' of being discharged." He said as air quoted his sarcastic words. "I was discharged on the grounds that I wasn't psychologically competent to perform my duties. I stayed up, night and day, thinking, wondering, worrying, praying for, and loving you! I couldn't sleep, because every time I closed my eyes, the nightmares would come. Sometimes they were about you drowning, sometimes a cave in, or a monsoon… it was always the same, Bones. The first four months, I was able to survive it, I was able to sleep...but the last two have been absolute hell." He said, pulling a folded piece of paper from his pocket, he threw it at her. "That's right, Bones… I was kicked out of the army because I didn't sleep more than an hour a night for two months… and the last two weeks in Paris was not spent gallivanting around to see the sights… but locked in a padded cell in a psych ward at another hospital, doped up on medication… I was a danger to myself, a danger to my men, and I was lucky to get an honorable discharge… so that luxury? That luxury was not mine, Bones." He said angrily.

"Booth." She whispered.

"Tell me that you'll come home with me." He said, watching her hand extended to him, he let out a puff of air as he watched her eyes searching his. When she shook her head, only slightly, he knew her answer. He swallowed as he shook his own head, he turned from her and walked toward the door.

"Booth!" She exclaimed. "Booth, please!"

It was too late, the door was already slamming in his wake.


	18. Along The Seine

_Friday May 14th had been the day they solved the hoarder case, the day they finished the paperwork, handed it in, and toasted their career together in a familiar apartment with familiar company, just the two of them. Booth had watched his partner over his glass of scotch as Brennan sipped hers and looked at him over the glass. He leaned back into the couch, he watched as her eyes followed his body language, always watching the movement of people, never just their eyes, but always catching every nuance of body language. They had been talking for a couple of hours already, the bottle was still half full, though the empty one beside it was an indication that they had each had more than their share. He was shifting a little more into the couch, stretching his back and turning so that his back was against the arm of the couch, his feet stretching out to tuck between the cushion and the back of the couch as he leaned over and picked up the bottle, the top of which had probably skittered across the floor when they had first opened it, and had not been seen since._

_He settled the bottle on his thigh, his other hand holding the glass unsteadily as he sighed heavily, staring at the liquid swirling in the bottle._

_"You look uncomfortable." She said, her voice clear, though it slurred slightly with the amount of alcohol that they had consumed._

_His eyes settled on hers and he didn't answer her, just watched her soft pink lips, the way she chewed at the corner of her lower lip just slightly. He knew that she'd just repeat her statement if he didn't answer, yet he didn't respond. "Do you ever wonder what things would be like if you had gotten onto that boat with Sully?" He asked, his eyes staring at the glass in her hand for a second as they immediately flashed up and focused on her eyes._

_"No." She said immediately. "What's the point of focusing on things that never happened, or wouldn't have worked out? It's the here, the now… that's what really matters." She replied. She noted his contemplative expression, and the way he was now staring at the scotch bottle, and decided to continue. "Ultimately, the relationship between Sully and I wouldn't have lasted because he was constantly thinking of his own interests at all time… he couldn't settle on anything, and even when he had an opportunity to settle into a relationship, he decided to walk away from that too. He could have stayed, he could have let our relationship develop, but ultimately he was a selfish man with selfish intentions."_

_"I am selfish." Booth said, lifting his eyes from the scotch bottle, they melted into her waiting gaze._

_"You are not. You are the most selfless person I have ever met." She replied sincerely._

_"See that, maybe I'm the most selfless person you have ever met… but that means that I can be selfish."_

_"That's not selfishness, Booth." She said, letting out a throaty laugh, pulling her socked feet up onto the couch, she leaned back a little as her fingers ran up and down the glass as she rested it in her knee. "That's cockiness." She reveled in his deep laugh, knowing that it was not fake or forced, laughing with Booth always seemed to be easier, and when he watched her face drop suddenly, his laugh stopped. _

_"Bones?" He whispered, her eyes rising to meet his._

_"Hm?" She asked, swallowing the lump in her throat as he watched her, his gaze intense and burning._

_"Do you think we missed our moment?" He whispered._

_"I don't know what you mean." She said, resting her head on her knees, she looked at him curiously, her hand still up, steadying the glass in her hand._

_"You know what I mean…"_

_"You mean that night? That case?" She asked, tipping her head back, she continued to focus on him as well as she could, and was beginning to feel the warmth of the alcohol with each heartbeat, and it wasn't just the liquor that was making her dizzy, but his stare. "I don't think there was a moment." She said, watching his face fall, his brow furrow as she felt her heart sink into her stomach. "Booth… I mean…"_

_"No." He shook his head. "I shouldn't have asked, Bones. It's fine." He said, swinging the bottle down, he set it hard on the table._

_"Booth… stop, listen." She said, swinging her hand with the glass to the table beside her, she flipped her feet off the couch and stood up quickly to stop him, the dizziness caused by the alcohol had been hidden when she was sitting still, but as soon as her body was in motion, it was like she had been spun around violently, and she felt her body beginning to give in to the relaxed state it had found itself in._

_"Bones… be careful, you're going to…" He exclaimed as he reached forward and grabbed her hand, just as her balance disappeared, and she nearly tumbled head first into his body as he lay on the couch, landing on top of him, they came face to face. "Fall…" He grunted, finding those beautiful blue eyes staring into his with a look of complete shock and surprise._

_Her breath was inundated with the smell of scotch, but he didn't notice that. He noticed the tickle of her breath on his skin, the weight of her body on his, the confusion and fear in her eyes, she let out a joyless laugh, more of an embarrassed laugh, and moved her hand up to press against his chest, though she felt his arms around her, holding her in place, she didn't struggle. "Sorry." She said, giving him a sheepish smile, he watched her cheeks as they blushed a pinkish hue, a little darker than the heat from the liquor coursing through her body._

_"Now that you have me trapped…" He said, raising his eyebrow curiously. "What were you going to say?" He asked, his arm holding her firmly atop him, he watched her mouth open and close a little as thought that he could literally feel her heart skip a beat._

_"I don't remember." She said, her eyes flicking down._

_"You're lying."_

_"No." She said, looking directly into his eyes, he closed his. "Booth." She said, losing the connection for a moment. "Open your eyes."_

_"Not until you tell me what you wanted to say." He replied._

_"Booth." She said, clearing her throat._

_One of his eyes opened and he caught her gaze, and then opened the other. "Why haven't you tried to get up?" He asked._

_"I don't know. Are you uncomfortable now?"_

_"Absolutely not." He said, smiling devilishly. "Tell me what you were going to say."_

_"I…" She said, feeling his hand suddenly rubbing against her back soothingly, she could feel her face becoming warmer. "I was just… going to say that we didn't have 'a' moment… you know, life isn't about moments, it's about opportunity and time, and respect… love."_

_"I have always respected you." He replied._

_"But it wasn't always the time."_

_"No."_

_"And, now that we're separating…"_

_"I love you, Bones." He whispered sincerely. He wasn't sure if it was the liquor or his words, but before he could take a breath, she had pressed her lips to his, her hands moving up to rest on his face as he tightened his grip on her and kissed her back._

* * *

His feet crunched in the newly fallen snow and he shivered at the chill in the air as he walked amongst the other people on the street. Tourists and citizens, walking to dinner, or to look at the lights, he let his hand roll along the concrete barrier between himself and the river, he watched the lights sparkle on the river water, dancing and skipping along with the movement of the water, replaced and reflected again and again.

He stopped for a moment, leaning against the cement, shivering in the cold, he regretted not bringing his coat with him, his arms covered by a warm sweater, the early evening air still drifted through it easily. He glanced down the sidewalk, the slick ice covered concrete was glistening in the street lamps that surrounded him, the sound of the tourists talking behind him, talking in a colorful array of languages, some of which Booth recognized, others of which he didn't.

Booth wasn't sure how long he had been standing against the concrete barrier, perhaps an hour, perhaps two. And he could feel the biting chill of the winter cold assaulting him, and though he felt numb for the time being, it still pricked through the fabric of his sweater, regardless.

His mind wandered to many things, racing faster than he could control, he felt no anger in his heart, just a deep sense of loss and emptiness, and he sucked in a deep breath as he attempted to control the frustration. He had a choice to make, and he was afraid that he had just thrown it all away by walking away from her again, letting her have things her way again. He had only asked her once, and he wanted to believe it was enough. He knew that she made decisions quickly, but the longer he stood there, wallowing in self pity, the surer he had become that she had actually had not given him an answer.

He played the moment back in his head, his tirade brought on by the frustration of her ignorance, she needed her to understand the full impact of her words and he didn't think that he had been unfair to her. She needed to know how tortured he had felt, how broken and alone he had been. She needed to understand that he had been lying to her when he told her over the phone that he was fine, when in reality, he hadn't slept… and at its very worst had experienced sleepwalking and intense nightmares, and had more than once woken in a place that he hadn't fallen asleep.

Booth sighed and rested his head on his folded arms, staring out at the Seine, for a moment battling with himself over what had become of himself, and what his next move would be. The river was beautiful and expansive, cutting a slice through the city so delicately, it was majestic in the simplest of ways, yet how this city managed to build itself around it, a center of commerce and tourism, Paris was a beautiful place, but it wasn't home. He just wanted to go home.

He stood up straight, his eyes on the water, and that was when he felt the warmth of something draped onto his shoulders. He reached up and touched the fabric, immediately recognizing the feel of it as his coat he turned sharply and was met with the huddled form of his partner, her eyes wide and full of fear as she shivered despite the warmth of her own coat. "I don't want you to catch pneumonia." She whispered, looking into his eyes, dropping them to the button on his coat, she swallowed hard. "Even though the there is no definitive scientific proof that cold weather has anything to do with pneumonia." She said, her focus still on his coat.

"Bones." He allowed her name to escape his lips and she lifted her eyes to his. "How…?"

"I escaped." She said, her eyes narrowing as she allowed a lopsided grin to light up her face, and immediately, her arms were wrapped around his waist, as he pulled her into his arms securely.


	19. I Will Carry Your Burdens

He held her for what felt like much longer than the mere moments that she was in his arms, and he could feel the warmth of her body sinking in through his sweater, warming his skin. "How long have you been looking for me?" He whispered into her hair.

"Not long." She replied into his chest, her arms squeezing him a little tighter, when suddenly, she felt him reach for her arms and pull them from her, putting his cold hands on her warm cheeks, she felt a chill run down her body as he brought his gaze upon her. "You're so cold." She whispered, her eyes looking into his, his flickered over her features as he stared at her wonderingly. She couldn't tell by the look on his face what he was thinking, but she could see the tenderness in his eyes, and when he moved his hands to her shoulders, and slid them down toward her hips, her hands moved to his shoulders.

"Here." He said, nodding as his grip tightened slightly, she felt him lift her tenderly, placing her bottom on the surface of the concrete wall, her body leaning toward him as she met his forehead with hers, her feet now off the ground as she sat on the wall. "Get you off of those feet of yours." He said with a smile as he felt her warm hands rubbing his shoulders as she watched his eyes.

They had a conversation of gazes, he gently rubbed his hand up and down her tightly bundled waist as he attempted to warm his hands on the soft fabric of her coat. His own coat brought him a long awaited warmth that he felt he would never gain back, and his heart was beating strongly in his chest, the surprise and happiness of her arrival was enough to warm him even more. He lifted his hand to her cheek, the knuckle of his left hand gently running over the warmth of her cheek as he listened to a tiny sound slip from her lips. He wasn't sure if she meant to make the sound, or if she was going to say something and stopped herself, so he waited, watching her with eternal tenderness in his eyes. He tilted his head, and she lifted her forehead from his, her breath catching for a moment.

"Your doctor isn't going to be very happy with you." He whispered.

"I don't care." She whispered.

"You don't look well, baby."

"I don't care." She said again, shaking her head.

"Angela isn't going to be very happy."

"I really, don't care."

"What do you care about then?"

"You." She whispered.

"You care about me?"

"Please don't walk away from me." She whispered, swallowing hard, he could see that she was trying desperately to hold herself together.

"Are you cold?" He whispered, watching her nod her head, he gave her a slight head tilt. "Tired?" He whispered, watching her head nod. "Then why didn't you wait for me to come back?"

"Because it was my turn to find you." She whispered.

"Come with me." He said, his voice tender and beckoning as he slid his arms into the sleeves of his coat. "I'll take you someplace warm, and we'll talk." He whispered, watching her head nod again. "You're tired, so I want you to rest on my back." He whispered.

"Booth."

"If you argue with me, I will take you right back to the hospital." He whispered, as he turned around, and looked up at her from over his shoulder. She sat for a moment, reading the truth in his eyes and finally reached her arms over his shoulders, clasping them on his chest as he backed up into her.

"It's not far, is it?"

"Only a couple of blocks." He whispered, pulling her legs around him. "Besides… you're certainly not the heaviest burden that I've had to carry on my back." He whispered, as she read into his sentence as both literal and figurative.

After two blocks, she had settled into her spot on his back, ignoring the stares of anyone they passed, she was warm and content against his body, and felt so safe in his arms, safe against him. Her body was still worn from the sickness that had weakened her, and it had used all of the energy she had getting dressed and making her way to him, that she was fighting the urge to sleep as he walked comfortably despite the weight on his back, his hand holding her clasped hands on his chest as he walked, periodically squeezing it to ensure her that he was thinking of her.

After four blocks, she became curious, the trek was taking a bit longer than she had expected, and it didn't help that she didn't know exactly where she was being taken. At first she had been a bit concerned that he was taking her back to the hospital, a fierce protector and friend, he probably would have if he hadn't been convinced of what she really needed, which was to be held in his arms in the comfort and seclusion of a place they wouldn't be interrupted. He felt her body tense a bit when the hospital came into view in the distance, a taller building that's institutional architecture was obvious, and when he turned onto a local road, he felt her relax.

After seven blocks, she was feeling ever more tired, and she was convinced that he was walking in circles, smiling sleepily at herself, she allowed a scoffing laugh escape her lips, and he slowed. "What are you laughing about?" He asked curiously, already having noted her silence, he was struggling with how to interpret it.

"You said it was only a couple of blocks." She whispered into his ear.

"That's right… though it's more than just that." He said softly. "But I figured if I told you it was any more than a couple, there would be no way that you'd allow me to carry you there." He whispered.

"You're probably right." She admitted, adjusting her grip on him as he shifted her, turning sharply into an alleyway, they remained silent as he approached the back door to a building.


	20. As The Dust Settles

_**The earth trembled just slightly, rocks tumbling around as she coughed to keep the dust from taking over her lungs. It wasn't as big as the first quake, but aftershocks seldom were. Small stones sprinkled from the rubble above her, and then silence. Quickly, she covered a rag with water, water from her bag, water that she knew she would need to survive this, and quickly she placed the rag to her mouth, closing her eyes tightly as she pressed her body securely against the wooden rail tie that was holding the rocks above her in place. There was still a bit of light filtering through the rubble, a ray of hope as she lean against the wooden lifeline behind her.**_

* * *

Booth adjusted a bit as he reached for a single key in his pocket, his companion sliding slightly to the ground as he turned the key, and then turned his body to face her. "I have only been staying here for a week." He whispered quickly. "I only stayed here because I was waiting for you. I was ashamed of myself, of what happened."

"You said…" She whispered.

"I said some things that I shouldn't have… I'll tell you the whole story, but you have to promise me that you won't judge me." He whispered.

"I promise that I won't judge you." She swallowed. "But you have to tell me everything."

"I will tell you everything." He said, leaning forward, he pressed his lips onto hers, and felt her hands grip his coat as she pulled her body into his for a moment, deepening the kiss. It lasted for more than a couple of moments, and when their lips parted, each of them held a secret smile. "Why don't we take it inside?" He said, nodding toward the apartment. "It's warmer in there."

She nodded shyly, a bit of a blush rising on her cheeks as he opened the door and stepped into the small apartment room, flicking the light on as they entered, she stepped inside and watched him close the door, looking around at the small flat that he was renting. It was plain but clean, and it looked barely lived in. There was a kitchenette to the right, and a small sitting room to the left, a doorway at the far side where she assumed the bedroom was located. She was about to turn to him when he put his arm around her and kissed her temple, reaching for her coat, he tugged it a bit, and she unbuttoned it quickly to allow him to pull it off her shoulders.

Beneath her coat she was wearing a warm green sweater and jeans, and when he tipped his head questioningly, she let out a puff of a laugh at the perplexed look on his face. "Angela brought me clothes to change into when I was discharged tomorrow. Did you expect to find a hospital gown beneath my coat?" She asked.

"With most things that involve you, Bones." He said, setting the coat across his arm. "I don't know what to expect from one second to the next." He walked to the couch and gently laid her coat on its arm, pulling his own coat from his shoulders; he moved toward the thermostat and adjusted the temperature to warm the apartment a bit more. He turned to see her standing in the middle of the room, and despite the obvious exhaustion in her posture, she was a vision to him. The green sweater made her eyes sparkle in the light, turning those beautiful blue green eyes a bit greener, as she focused on him.

"What?" She said, noticing that he was staring at her, she became slightly self conscious. She tried to push the feeling away, but couldn't help it. When he looked at her that way, she just felt so damn vulnerable.

"I was just admiring you." He said suddenly, kicking off his shoes as he walked slowly toward her, she kicked her own shoes off and looked around the room. He stepped up beside her, moving in front of her as she turned and cupped her face in his hand. "Your eyes look beautiful tonight."

"That's because I am not ill or crying. I'm just me." She said, surprised by her words. "Whatever that means."

"I am glad you're not ill or crying." He said with a tender smile, capturing her lips just briefly. "I am glad that you're just you." He said, dropping another kiss on her lips, she wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his chest. "Do you need anything?"

"Just you." She whispered. "I'm tired."

"I know, baby." He said tenderly, running his fingers through her hair tenderly, he kissed the top of her head, and she turned, letting him lead her toward the bedroom.

She moved away from him as soon as she saw the bed, crawling onto the soft mattress, she lay on her side as he followed her, resting his head on the pillow beside her, he pulled her into his body as she curled a bit and pushed her back into him atop the covers, his arm securing itself around her. "Are you cold?" She whispered.

"Hardly." He replied. "You?"

"No."

"Good." He said tenderly.

"Booth?"

"Hmm…?"

"Tell me." Her voice whimpered. "Tell me everything."

He kissed her head tenderly, pulling her a little tighter into him, knowing that what was to come would not be easy. "Some of what I said in the hospital room was true." He began, feeling her hands touch his as her fingers danced across his in anxiety. "As you read on the paper, it was determined that I was not psychologically competent, meaning… that I had the mental capabilities, the physical capabilities, but my mind was elsewhere." He said, kissing her head again, he paused for a moment.

"Like I said… the first four months were… not easy, but I could handle it, you know?" He whispered, feeling her nod her head against him. "We talked a lot, you know that… I told you that it was tough being away from you, away from Parker. I was doing well with the soldiers, getting along with everyone, and I remembered getting that e-mail from you, mentioning how the islands that you were on were experiencing some minor tremors… and though you assured me that everything was fine, my mind kind of… took off with it." He whispered, feeling the movement of her hand stop, he thought for a moment that she had fallen asleep, when he swore he heard her sniffle. "Bones?"

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"Bones, no." He said, a bit of panic in his voice. "Bones, please… I didn't mean…" He said, hearing her sniffle again. "Oh, baby…" His kiss to her head was quick, and he pulled his arm from under her, rolling carefully to climb over her, landing on her other side so that he was facing her. "Bones." He said, seeing the tears rolling down her cheek, he could feel his chest tighten. "God, Bones… don't cry. It wasn't your fault, it wasn't just that… it was other things too. I told you that Parker had won at the science fair, right? With his volcano experiment… I was having nightmares of losing him, losing you… losing everything. It wasn't just you, it wasn't just earthquakes, it was other stuff too, baby… please."

"If I just… kept my mouth shut." She whispered.

"If you kept your mouth shut, then you wouldn't be who you are, Bones. You tell me everything… even if it's going to hurt me, even if you know it'll make me worry. I need you to tell me things." He insisted, taking a deep breath. "Into the fifth month, I knew something was wrong with my sleep patterns." He explained, his eyes now looking directly into hers, his hand on her cheek as his thumb gently wiped away her tears. "The nightmares were becoming worse, and it got to a point where I just stopped sleeping, because each time I'd close my eyes… something would happen to you, or Parker… or someone else that I loved, you know? So… I relented, after the third week… went to the psychologist on the base, and he determined that I had insomnia due to the stress of working with young recruits… he recommended some stupid relaxation exercises that never worked. I just didn't want to admit that things were as bad as they were."

"You didn't tell me." She whispered.

"I didn't want you to worry, Bones." He swallowed. "When you told me that you were going to Paris to see Angela and Hodgins for Christmas, I was happy that you were going to do something special."

"You said that you wished you could be here with me." She replied.

"I did." He smiled tenderly, letting his eyes travel over her now calm features. "I missed you." He said, watching her eyes close for a moment, and open again. "The start of the sixth month was one of the worst…" He replied. "My nightmares were so mixed, and so strange, that I started having problems between reality and fantasy. And… um, one night, I was having… an issue with that… I was chasing down someone in my dream, someone… chasing you." He said, swallowing hard. "And I woke up with a gun in my hand, standing over the bed of a fellow soldier." He said, watching her eyes widen.

"Booth."

"I went to the psychologist the next day… it was quickly and quietly taken care of… swept under the rug and I was given leave with option to be discharged within a week. I underwent tests… and they determined that I was experiencing a type of stress disorder…" He sighed, watching her eyes as they followed his. "They sent me to a hospital for some sleep tests, and determined that I was no longer fit for duty."

"That's when they discharged you." She whispered.

"Based on my prior service, and the first four months… they gave me an honorable discharge, but that paper that I gave you…"

"Threw at me." She corrected, watching as he rolled his eyes.

"That was the final word." He replied.

"What about the padded walls?" She asked, watching his eyes darken slightly.

"That's not exactly how it was, Bones… perhaps I got a little bit frustrated when I was trying to get you to understand."

"So… no padded walls?"

"No… no padded walls." He sighed. "When I was discharged a little over two weeks ago, I came here… to Paris. I checked myself into a hospital, it was voluntary… I needed some help. I knew you would be here soon, and I wanted to see you… so I admitted myself to a hospital, hoping to get some rest… they took very good care of me…" He swallowed.

"And you didn't contact me because you were heavily medicated."

"Right." He said, a bit of a cringe to his face as he watched her eyes search his face.

"I accept that." She replied.

"There is no excuse for my behavior, Temperance."

"Are you still having nightmares?"

"Once I was out of Afghanistan, most of the nightmares stopped… I was in a more regulated temperature, and I felt safer… more secure. I'm sorry, Bones." He said tenderly. "I'm sorry if I have disappointed you."

"You haven't disappointed me, Booth." She said, following his eyes with her own, she could feel her exhaustion beginning to creep into her voice.

"You look so tired."

"I am so tired." She said, with a ghost of a smile.

"Then rest." He said as he pulled her body securely against him. "Rest… and tomorrow it'll be Christmas Eve."

"What will Christmas Eve bring?" She whispered sleepily.

"A new day." He whispered, kissing her head. "A new day together." He said, as he cuddled against her and closed his eyes, as they both drifted to sleep.


	21. If You Leave, My Heart Will Cease

_"I love you, Bones." He whispered sincerely. He wasn't sure if it was the liquor or his words, but before he could take a breath, she had pressed her lips to his, her hands moving up to rest on his face as he tightened his grip on her and kissed her back._

_She moved her hands to the back of his head, entwining her fingers in his hair that she knew would soon be cut even shorter as she dug her nails gently into his scalp, listening to the soft, tender moan from his lips as his hands gently kneaded her back. As his hands slipped back and forth over the light fabric of her shirt, he could feel the soft flesh beneath warming to his touch, taste the scotch on her tongue as it traveled languidly through his mouth, exploring its depths._

_"Mm… Bones?" He whispered, groaning when her hands moved down, dancing at the hem of his shirt, she slipped her hands over his hot flesh and raked her nails over his skin, feeling the chill run through his body as her fingertips pressed into his skin. "Oh, God… Bones… we have to stop." He whimpered, holding her tightly so she wouldn't get the wrong impression._

_"We don't have to stop." She whispered, lifting his shirt, she shifted slightly, resting her head on his bare chest, she turned her head and kissed his skin softly, running a finger over his nipple as she kissed his chest again and again. "We are two consenting adults…and we obviously have feelings for one another." She said, pulling her fingernails across his abdomen, she felt him squirm._

_"Bo-ones!" He almost literally squeaked her name out as his hips pushed up involuntarily. "We have to stop. Bones, please?" He whispered, panting. He felt her stop, his skin cold from lack of contact suddenly, and it was as if the room was filled with a sudden burst of cold air, as she pulled his shirt down and pushed against his chest in an attempt to get up. "No." He said indignantly._

_"Let me get up." She said stubbornly, her face scrunched in a scowl of frustration as he held her tightly. "Booth, let me get up!" She exclaimed._

_"No." He said stubbornly. "You're not getting up until you talk to me about this."_

_"There is nothing to talk about." She snapped, her cold, blue eyes slamming into his soft brown eyes full force, a fierce fire engulfing them. "I attempted to initiate a physical connection, and you declined. I accept it, and now I want to get up!" She snapped, pushing against him harder. _

_"Bones, you're not going to run away!"_

_"I'm not running away!" She screamed in his face, punching his chest with her fist, his hold on her loosened as she gave one final push from him and rolled quickly from the couch, surprised when she caught herself and stood quickly, a rush of dizziness came over her as she held her head and stumbled. She noticed he stood after her, and immediately she put her hand out to stop him. "Don't!" She exclaimed, her voice was dead serious, and he stopped his forward motion. "Do not attempt to stop me."_

_"Bones, you're drunk." He whispered._

_"So are you." She growled, staring angrily at him._

_"You're not driving drunk."_

_"I'll take a cab, thank you." She said, turning sharply as she started to walk across the apartment, the sting of tears in her eyes as she looked for her coat. _

_"Bones, don't go." He said, walking after her as she paraded around his apartment. "Bones, please? Please, Bones!" He exclaimed, finally grabbing her arm tenderly, she whirled around and pushed forward, her chest slamming into his as she glared coldly up into his eyes. _

_"This wouldn't work anyway." She growled. "You're going to Afghanistan, I'm going to Maluku. If we started something now, we'd be apart for a year. It wouldn't last, there's no point in starting something that will be over in a little under two weeks. The only thing it'll bring us, is pain." She managed to growl, his hand still on her arm, their eyes launching a fierce battle of control._

_"I want to make love to you." He whispered simply, sincerely, his whole heart lay before her, and the fire in her eyes was lessening as she fought to keep her composure. "I want to make love to you every day until we're apart. I want to touch you, and kiss every inch of your body so that I can memorize it… so that when I am alone at night, I have that… I have you. I need you to love me, Bones. I need to feel you, hear you, touch you, taste you, smell your skin."_

_"Then why…?"_

_"Don't leave." He whispered. "Please?"_

_"Booth." She whispered. "I don't… understand."_

_"You will…" He swallowed. "Just… come to bed with me." He whispered, giving her arm an encouraging tug. "I stopped us because…I don't want there to be any clouds."_

_"I don't know what that means."_

_"Scotch, Bones. I don't want our first time to be dulled by the taste, and smells of liquor. I want to be intoxicated by you, and only you." He whispered, feeling her arm pull from his hand, he thought he had lost the fight. He watched a movie play out in her eyes, those crystal blue sparkling orbs dancing over his features, his chest, the sincerity in his stance. She was reading him just then, reading his emotions, his truth. He had once told her that Sweets was like a human lie detector test, but she was most definitely the only person that could read him, she could decode him like a spy with a code book, unlock his heart with nothing more than a simple smile or laugh. She had him wrapped around her little finger, and when her mouth opened just a bit, he held on just a little tighter._

_"You want me to stay?" The question was whispered so quietly, that he thought he had imagined it._

_"Please stay."_

_"But no… sex?"_

_"No." He shook his head. "I don't want there to be any question of regret."_

_"I never regret my decisions. Even with the cloud of alcohol, which you refer to… I always know what I want, and I never do what I don't want to do, ever."_

_"I know that, Bones."_

_"I'm stubborn."_

_"Oh, I know that, Bones." He said, a hint of a smile on his lips._

_"And sometimes… I over react."_

_"I know."_

_"Because I have never known anyone who even comes close to loving me the way that you do, and it scares me."_

_"Don't be afraid." He whispered. "Trust me."_

_"I trust you." She whispered._

_"Then stay with me tonight. Stay with me every night until we part ways… stay with me, Bones."_

_"Seeley Booth, are you begging me?" She whispered, his first name slipping from her lips easily as she allowed the corner of her lips lift just slightly._

_"Would you think less of me?"_

_"Never."_

_"Then I'm begging you. Stay."_

* * *

**_Stay, stay right where you are…one false move, and it could all be over. The light above her was fading, and there was still silence above her. There was still the fear that all was lost, and she knew that the earthquake that shattered the world around her was massive. She scolded herself. She had agreed on one more month, and she only had one more day. One more day and she would be going home with him, one more day and that day was almost over and she wasn't with him. She had insisted on completing this task. She had insisted on going into the dig site before she left for the airport, and now where was she?_**

**_Buried alive. Alone, with nothing more than her bag and its contents, and the dust and dirt that had settled around her. It was the first time in her life that she regretted her decision, the first time that she knew that he had been right. She should have never come back. She should have gone home with him, she should have stayed. _**

* * *

The morning sun filtered into the small, unfamiliar apartment, and when he opened his eyes, he knew that the rest had been dreamless and perfect, and the person in his arms was the testament to that fact. She lay curled into him, her hands clutching his shirt, her breathing a bit ragged, though he was sure it was just another effect of her painful experience with the fever that had ravaged her body. He was sure she was asleep until he felt her fingers kneading the fabric of his shirt, and a tiny whimper escape her lips.

"Baby." He whispered, his voice low and soft.

"Did I wake you up?" She whispered.

"No."

"I missed you." She said, pressing her nose into his chest for a moment, she rested her ear on his chest.

"I missed you." He replied, holding her securely against him as his arm snaked around her and he held her close. "Are you listening to my heart again?" He whispered.

"Yes."

"Its still there." He teased, feeling her move against him, he knew she had some kind of witty retort for him, and she was holding it back. "What?"

"I know why it sounds differently."

"Why?"

"Because… when I lie my head on your chest… my own heart rate rises… I can hear my pulse in my ears, so when I press my cheek against your chest…"

"You hear both of our hearts."

"Beating together." She whispered. "Always together." She said, pressing her head against his chest again, she felt content, happy, and so very warm as the world around her melted into nothing but him, and their heartbeats. "I love you." She whispered, as they drifted back into a dreamless sleep, together.


	22. The Heart Wants What It Wants

_**"Dad?" Parker called as he and his father walked through the door of the apartment. "When is Bones coming home?" He asked, watching his father step through the door with a bag of groceries.**_

_**"I have told you a dozen times, Parks, she'll be home in two days."**_

_**"Then why are you getting all of this stuff now?"**_

_**"Because when she gets off that plane, she's not going to want to cook for herself, we are going to make her a good old fashioned Booth special." He said as he walked past the boy toward the kitchen.**_

_**"Cheeseburgers?" Parker asked, following his father, he climbed up onto the chair by the hightop table.**_

_**"No." Booth replied, scrunching his face. "Bones is a vegetarian."**_

_**"Pizza?" Parker asked, his eyebrows raised as the word excitedly slipped between his lips and Booth shook his head. Parker watched as his father pulled a head of lettuce from the bag. "Salad?" Parker asked, his excitement thoroughly gone at this point, and his tongue hung from his mouth in child like disgust.**_

_**"You'll see." He rolled his eyes as he continued to put the groceries away. "Go watch the discovery channel or something." He said, tossing his son a bag of fruit snacks from the cupboard, the boy caught them and grinned as he slid from the chair and ran into the living room. He continued putting the groceries away, whistling a soft tune to himself, and after a moment, he heard the pounding of his son's feet coming in his direction.**_

_**"Dad! Dad! You have to come see this!" He exclaimed, the panic in his voice was palpable, and Booth immediately looked up.**_

_**"What is it, Bub?" He said, setting the groceries down on the counter, he followed his son as he ran from the room. "Parker, what's going on?"**_

_**"There was an earthquake!" Parker exclaimed, turning the channels on the television. "It's on all of the channels, Dad!"**_

_**"Where was there an earthquake?" He asked, feeling the panic rising in his chest, he stared at the ticker on the bottom of the screen, listened to the words that were being spoken from the reporters, observed the destruction that was already being shown on the screen. He felt his chest tighten.**_

_**"Dad, are you okay?" Parker whispered, noticing that his father's face had gone pale, his mouth hanging open just a bit. "Dad? Is that where Bones is?" Parker said, shaking his father's arm. "Dad? Isn't that where Bones is? Dad?" Parker said again, as the phone rang.**_

* * *

The next time they woke it wasn't because of a tender dream, or a slight nudge, but the shrieking of the phone on the bedside table. He reached out, over Brennan and grabbed it from the surface, bringing it to his ear. "Booth." He said, his voice rough and tired as the shouting of the woman on the other end of the line shot into his head. "Whoa, whoa, Angela… slow down." Booth said, feeling Brennan pulling her head farther into his chest, he heard her grumble into his chest. "Slow down, Angela… please?" He mumbled. "You're hurting my head." He said, and he swore he heard Brennan giggle. "You want to talk to her? Here she is…" Booth said, laughing himself as he pulled the phone from his ear.

"No." She groaned.

"Bones, she's worried about you."

"I don't want to talk right now, I want to sleep. I'm sick." She mumbled.

"You are better now… you said you were fine." He pointed out. "It is better that you get it over with on the phone, then have to deal with it in person." He said, hearing Angela on the line expressing that she could hear him. "Hang on a second, she'll call you back." Booth said, snapping the phone closed, he tossed it on the bedside table and rolled forward, capturing her beneath him as he pushed his arms into the mattress to straddle her. Her eyes were closed tightly, and her hands had risen to touch his chest as she feigned sleep for another moment longer. "Open your eyes, Temperance."

One eye opened as she looked at the man hanging above her, his eyes expectant as one eyebrow rose. "I think our cover has been blown." She whispered.

"Yeah, I think so too." He said, a playful smile on his lips. "You never told me what you did last night to escape."

"While it's entirely possible that I extracted my own IV, opened the little closet and removed the clothes, shoes and coat from the closet, and quietly walked to the front desk to be discharged… I don't believe that I am going to tell you what really happened." She said, a mischievous smile on her lips as her eyes glinted at his. "I plead the fifth." She said, holding one hand on his chest and one hand in the air as if she were being sworn in.

"You're a sneaky woman, Temperance Brennan."

"Only as sneaky as the people I associate with, Agent Booth." She said, pushing his chest just lightly, he rolled onto his side, and his back, taking her with him, as she moved willingly and landed atop him. "I will call Angela back."

"Good."

"But, first I'd like to… do something that would be worth talking about." She said, winking at him as her finger played at his clavicle, their noses practically touching.

"I thought you were sick." He whispered.

"I'm sick, Booth. I'm not dead." She said, listening to his playful laugh as he rolled her over and kissed her, igniting the fire between them to burn hotter and stronger than either of them could imagine possible.

* * *

_The light filtered in through the dark curtains, and the loud thumping of his heartbeat was in her ear. She listened to the loud thumping in his chest and closed her eyes as she buried her face farther into his body. She felt his hand delicately dancing over her arm, and wondered for a moment how long he had been awake._

_She allowed her fingertips to move over the fabric slowly, kneading it between her fingers as he kissed the top of her head. She took a slow, deep breath and held it, listening to his heartbeat so closely to memorize its rhythm. He kissed her again._

_"Your heartbeat is different." She whispered._

_"It's different?" He replied, and she noted the concern in his voice. She didn't wish for him to misunderstand her words, and knew that she should explain, but the lull of his beating heart was making her smile._

_"Shh… I'm listening." She whispered._

_"What are you listening for?" He asked, his voice disrupting the sound in his chest, she lifted her head and gave him a disapproving glare. His eyebrows rose, and he gave her that charm smile of his. "I'm sorry." He watched her lay her head back down, and she could tell that he was trying to listen to her, to wait for her explanation._

_"It's loud… very loud." She whispered. "Very strong…" She said, waiting for him to interrupt, he never did. "It's slower than mine. It's more relaxed." She listened for a moment longer. "The rhythm is different… it's hard to explain, perhaps in an anomaly." She said softly._

_"Like my heart is bad?" He asked, his voice holding a bit of concern as she listened carefully._

_"No." She said, sighing as if she thought he'd understand. "Like your heart is good. Hush now, I'm trying to memorize it." She whispered against him, feeling his hand continue to rub her arm slowly, she curled into him tighter and just enjoyed their first morning together._


	23. Always Remember to Never Forget

_"Bones?" Booth whispered against the woman still sleeping against him, her ear settled on his chest as she shifted to look up into his eyes. She looked sleepy, and perhaps confused for a moment as her eyes met his._

_"Your bedroom is too bright." She said in a soft tone, closing her eyes tightly, she turned her head into his chest as he pulled her into him easily._

_"Maybe we overdid the celebration last night." He mumbled against her head as he kissed it tenderly._

_"I'd have to agree on that." She whispered groggily. "But I still don't regret it." She said, looking up at his face, she watched his eyes sparkle at her. "Do you?"_

_"Not for a second." He said, leaning down to kiss her forehead. He felt her pulling away after a moment, and resisted the urge to pull her nearer, and he watched as she moved to the edge of the bed, standing unsteadily as she stretched, yawning and patting down her hair a bit. "Ah, Bones… you're every bit as beautiful with bed head as you are without." He said, watching her ever so slight glare as she yawned again._

_"Very funny." She said, moving toward the bedroom door, she looked back and saw a flash of concern. "I'll be right back." She said, watching his face relax as he threw her and easy smile. He heard the water running in the bathroom sink for a few moments, and smiled as he climbed from the bed and pulled his t-shirt off, tossing it toward the basket of dirty clothes near his closet, he let out a small sigh of contentment as he opened a drawer of his dresser, looking for something to change into after his shower. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt two hands on his back, he stood up straight and looked behind him. _

_"What are you doing?" He asked, feeling somewhat self conscious all of a sudden, he knew she wasn't seeing anything she hadn't seen before, but somehow he just felt a little more revealed, a little more naked. He turned around and she jumped back just a bit, her lower lip sliding into her mouth._

_"Too presumptuous?" She asked._

_"I don't know what you mean." He said, watching the brilliant smile rise on her lips._

_"What are you doing?" She asked, her eyebrows raised as he moved past her toward the doorway. _

_"Getting ready to take a shower." He said, watching her with a half amused, half curious glance, he walked out of the room only to hear her feet slapping against the wooden floor behind him. "You can make some coffee if you want." He said, throwing a glance over his shoulder, he watched her eyes narrow as she leaned against the wall and crossed her arms. "What?" He asked with an amused laugh._

_"Nothing." She said, turning away from him, she walked down the hallway toward the kitchen, but not before hearing his light laughter as he walked inside the bathroom and closed the door behind him._

* * *

**_The air was stale around her, dusty and almost unbearable. Her breathing wasn't impaired, but her movement had been drastically reduced since the initial cave in, and a little more since the subsequent aftershocks. The ground seemed to be settling, and she had found herself in a space not much larger than a coffin, thinking to herself that it was fitting for the situation. She could move her elbows a bit, pulling her bag up to her chest, she kept her back against the wooden beam support as she looked up at the fading light that was in front of her and up, the only chance for survival. She was curled in an uncomfortable position, unsure of herself at the moment, for everything had happened so quickly._**

**_She coughed, feeling the roughness of her throat, she let out a groan as she tried to move her foot, feeling the soreness of her muscles from sitting in the same position for such a long time. She wanted to call out, but knew almost for certain there was nothing to call out for, because no one would hear her. She'd be able to hear searchers, she'd be able to feel their movement above her, and now she was surrounded by a silence so loud that her ears were ringing. _**

**_She hugged her bag to her chest, staring out at the fading light, trying to remain calm, warm, and of sound mind. She closed her eyes and tried to bring herself to a different place, if even for a moment. She just wanted to forget, by remembering._**

* * *

As they approached the café, Booth wrapped his arm a little tighter around her shoulder, and smiled warmly when her eyes lifted to meet his. He leaned down and kissed right behind her ear, whispering tenderly to her. "It's going to be fine."

"She sounded really upset." Brennan whispered back, watching his head shake just slightly to ward off her anxious feelings.

"She'll live, baby." Booth said, squeezing her a little tighter, he kissed her head and reluctantly released his hold on her, settling his hand in the small of her back as they walked into the café.

As soon as they stepped inside, Angela stood up and approached them. "My God, Bren, I almost had a heart attack when I got to the hospital and you were gone!" She exclaimed as she held her friend at arm's length. "You still look sick… You should go back to the…"

"No." Brennan shook her head. "No more hospital." She said, unbuttoning her coat, Booth stood behind her and helped her pull it from her shoulders. He draped it over his arm and reached out to pull the chair out for her. She glanced back at him and gave him a half glare, and he just smiled slyly at her as she sat down, pulling the chair in herself.

"And you! You knew where she was! You knew that she checked herself out of the hospital!" Angela whapped Booth with the back of her hand, he shrugged as he draped Brennan's coat on her chair, and unbuttoned his own.

"Can we continue this assault sitting down, please? People are starting to stare." He laughed, putting his coat on his chair, he saw Brennan's foot sneak over and push his chair out for him. He shook his head with a slight smile and she beamed up at him. "Very funny." He said, watching her smile widen as he sat in the chair.

"Okay." Angela said, sitting down with a sigh. "Now how did this all happen?" She said, waving her hand between the two of them, she glanced to Hodgins, who held up his hands in defeat.

"Hey, I didn't know any more than you did, Ange." He shrugged. "Had my suspicions…" He shrugged, watching Angela's glare. "What? He came all the way to Paris to see her speak at a boring lecture."

"What? My lecture wasn't boring!" She exclaimed, glancing to Booth, who just looked on in amusement.

"No… no, it wasn't boring." He said, shaking his head, trying his best to look sincere. "Though most of it was dry and crusty…"

"Booth!" Brennan exclaimed.

"I mean the pictures." He laughed. "I'm used to the fresh bodies… but it was interesting, I guess in a dry and crusty kind of way."

"This is not how I imagined our Christmas Eve conversation would go." Angela said shaking her head, though she seemed thoroughly amused by the banter between the two of them. It felt different, but somehow normal, and she couldn't help but laugh at her naivety in that she ever believed that they were 'just partners.'

When Brennan was finished glaring at Booth, she turned to Angela. "How did you imagine our Christmas Eve conversation would go?" She asked, feeling Booth's leg under the table nudge her. "Cut it out." She said, raising her eyebrows in warning, she smacked his arm.

"I'm going to go get us something warm to drink." He said with a smile, he stood up and kissed her head as he watched Angela shake her head and smile as he made his way to the counter.

"What?" Brennan said, following Angela's eyes as she watched Booth walk away.

"She wants to know how long you and Booth have been going out." Hodgins said, nodding toward her partner, who had glanced over at the table and gave them all a curious look.

"How long have we been dating, or how long have we had a sexual relationship?"

"Is there a difference, Sweetie?" Angela asked, laughing as Brennan scowled. "Sorry… either one… just give us something to go with here so we don't feel like we're in the dark."

"A little over six months." She said, looking up at Booth as he set a cup of steaming coffee in front of her, his hand rubbing her shoulder tenderly as he sat down beside her with his own cup. "After the last case… we came to an agreement that… we may be compatible for one another, and despite our separation, it would be nice to have something to come home to, to look forward to."

"I told her I loved her, and she jumped into the shower with me the next morning." Booth blurted out.

"Booth!" she exclaimed, her face turning bright red as Angela and Hodgins began to laugh.

"What? I thought we were telling them everything…" He rolled his eyes, accepting his glare with pride as he began pouring sugar into his cup. "No, really… I just… didn't want to leave without showing her how much I appreciate her." He said, looking down in his coffee, he stirred his spoon and lifted the jar of sugar again.

"Booth… that's enough sugar." She said, grabbing the jar from him, she put it on the table on the other side of her. "And he's been testing me ever since." She glared.

"You guys are seriously too cute." Angela said with a laugh as Booth nudged Brennan under the table again.

"You do that one more time, and I'm going to sit at the end of the table." She said, though she couldn't hide the hint of a smile in her threat. She looked to Angela and sighed. "So now that I'm finally out of the hospital. What were our Christmas Eve plans?"

"Angela wanted to send you back to the apartment to rest." Hodgins said, popping a bit of pastry in his mouth as Angela smacked his arm at Brennan's glare. "But…" He said, correcting himself. "Since you have someone who can carry you on his back like a monkey if need be… we can do some last minute shopping."

Brennan and Booth exchanged a glance and looked at Hodgins. "Sounds like fun." They said at the same time, each taking a sip of their coffee as they tried to avoid eye contact.


	24. Grasping At Straws

**Confused or not, I appreciate your words. Please review.**

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* * *

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_Brennan walked into her apartment alone, closing the door behind her, she suddenly realized how alone she felt without that guiding hand at the small of her back. She closed her eyes and shook her head, telling herself that she didn't need to have a man at her side to validate her life. Despite that, she could still feel the rolling of her stomach, in remembering that in less than two weeks, she won't even have the option to go to his side. So she sucked in a deep breath, closed her eyes and released it very slowly._

_Compartmentalize. It's what she did best._

_She walked through her apartment, noting the excessive cleanliness of it, and thought of how she had been biding her time in the evenings with her thoughts through cleaning lately. It had really started right after the incident on the steps of the Hoover building. That night alone, she must have cleaned every inch of the floor in her apartment, done several loads of laundry, and went through her bedroom closets and removed all of the clothing she didn't wear anymore. _

_Each day she would find more and more things to do to keep herself from stopping, from thinking, from feeling. She became so restless that she would spend her mornings jogging along the reflecting pool, a full four miles from her apartment, and back before she made her way to the lab for her morning. She was finding that compartmentalization was becoming more and more difficult, and right now she was trying to pull her thoughts from the same thing, only in a different context. _

_She closed her eyes and sat on the couch for a moment, content in her breathing exercises. She tried to imagine a pristine beach, the kind she would be seeing in Maluku when she arrived, but all she could see was his face. All she could feel was his lips on hers, his hands moving over her naked body when she surprised him in the shower. She could hear the soft gasp from his lips when she hugged him from behind, and the feel of his lips on hers when he turned to face her. _

_They had kissed and touched, laughed and joked in the shower. He had seemed a bit nervous at first, but she soon showed him that his embarrassment was unfounded, for she too was shy. She just wanted to show him that she trusted him. When she felt the water becoming cold, she had kissed his nose gently, whispering that now it was time for him to finish his shower, as he called to her to come back. She had opened the shower one more time, simply to drop a kiss on his lips with words of promise of more fun, more excitement, more discovery. They had little time, but she told him that the shower was no place to show the person you care about how you feel. There were appropriate times, appropriate places, and appropriate measures that had to be taken. _

_She then stood up and sighed, walking down the hallway toward the closet, she opened the door and pulled down the suitcase that was on the top shelf. There was a bag or two already packed, though she found that there were things that hadn't been packed yet. She set the suitcase on the ground and rolled it down the hallway toward her bedroom as it swung unceremoniously onto the bed. She pulled a bag from within it, opening the zipper she began to pack. Dresser drawers were opened and objects were moved as the bag was slowly packed. She unzipped the small pocket on the extra bag to slide something inside, when she felt a piece of paper inside._

_Curiously, Brennan pulled the paper from within the suitcase and unfolded the piece of paper, smiling at the contents, she shook her head. As if on cue, a familiar ringtone called out to her as she stared at the paper and pulled the phone from her pocket, flipping it open. "I've been home for ten minutes, Booth."_

_"I wanted to know if you needed help." He asked, his voice sounding quite innocent, though she could sense the innuendo from the miles that were between them._

_"I am perfectly capable of packing on my own, thank you." She replied, humored by the light chuckle on the other line. "Don't you have your own things to pack?"_

_"I'll do that eventually." He responded. _

_"Did you have a reason for calling me?"_

_"Yes." He replied, though he was quiet for a moment. Just when she was about to ask him what he wanted, he spoke up. She was taken aback by how genuinely nervous he sounded. "I was just wondering if… I mean, you said this morning that there was an appropriate time, and appropriate place… appropriate measures, I believe you said." He said softly._

_"Yes?" She asked, intrigued by the anxiety in his voice._

_"Would you accompany me to dinner tomorrow evening?" He asked, his voice smooth and tender._

_"Are you asking me out on a date?" She asked, a bit surprised by his sudden shyness, she found herself even more excited at the thought of him being worried about rejection. Though she instantly thought of that moment outside the J. Edgar Hoover building, he had looked so heartbroken; she found that she was holding her breath as she waited for his reply._

_"I am." _

_She paused, and perhaps it was just for dramatic effect, or maybe her brain subconsciously knew what she was holding in her hand as she unfolded the small sheet of paper again. "Where would you take me?" She asked, walking toward her closet, it was obvious she was stalling. _

_"Where would you like to go?" He asked casually, the anxiety in his voice slowly disappearing as she opened the closet door and walked inside, flicking on the light. Her hands moved methodically through the hanging dresses when she found the one that she had been looking for. She smiled into the phone as she remembered the last time she wore it._

_"Someplace… we can dance." She whispered._

_"I can do that." He replied, a pause in his response. "So? Will you accompany me for dinner… and a dance, tomorrow evening?" He asked tenderly._

_"It would be my pleasure." She said, walking from the closet she listened to the very tender sigh of relief on his end. "Did you think I would decline?"_

_"You're as unpredictable as a knuckle ball on a windy day, Bones."_

_"I don't know what that means."_

_"It's good." He whispered._

_"Well… then… thank you." She shrugged. "I'll see you tomorrow?"_

_"Tomorrow." He said softly into the line. "I'll pick you up at seven."_

_"I can…"_

_"Seven, Bones… be ready for me." He whispered. "I love you." He said, as the phone clicked, and he was gone._

_She smiled ridiculously for a moment, her eyes falling to the paper in her hand once again, as she folded it and placed it on her bedside table, someplace that she knew that it wouldn't be misplaced or forgotten. She then continued her seemingly never ending routine of packing, with an excited smile on her face, and her heart rate just a tad elevated. _

* * *

**_There was a whirlwind of activity that was not going to stop until he set foot on the white sands of Maluku. Phone call after frustrating phone call, and Booth was finding a dead end at each turn. All commercial flights to Jakarta were grounded for the time being, and despite the connections that Booth had in the government, there weren't many avenues that hadn't been ventured down through his stream of endless calling. _**

**_Contact with the Maluku dig team had only turned up more road blocks with differing reports of fatalities and injuries. He knew that she could be perfectly safe, busily organizing her team and ensuring their safety. She could have been on the way to the airport, finding that flights were grounded. She could be someplace safe, she had to be someplace safe. He refused to believe that anything else was possible._**

**_He sat nearly defeated, standing occasionally to pace back and forth as he flipped the phone open at the first sign of a ring. "Booth!" He stated sternly, his voice was showing the ragged edges of frustration building inside of him. From the other end, he only heard five of the words that were spoken, and that was all he needed._**

**_Red Cross_**

**_Relief_**

**_Dulles_**

**_Now_**

**_He grabbed his emergency bag, and was out the door before the sentence was even finished. He was on a mission now, and the only thing that made it all the worse was that he knew it was going to take more than twenty hours to get there._**

**_He flipped open his passport as he stepped out of his apartment, not noticing the small square of paper that had skittered out of its pages, landing folded and discarded in front of his apartment door._**

* * *

Hodgins and Angela had stayed up as late as they could without falling asleep on the couch, talking and catching up with both Brennan and Booth, leaving them together in the arm chair, squeezed comfortably against one another, her legs draped over him, her head resting on his shoulder. They had spent their Christmas Eve shopping and sightseeing, separating to gather gifts and goodies for friends and family and had finally settled in the apartment.

They were both quiet for a long time, just enjoying the quiet of the evening, neither one really needing to speak as they let the lights of the Christmas tree reflect in their eyes as he sighed tenderly.

"What are you thinking about?" She whispered.

"Nothing." He said, his voice sounded sad, and she knew that he was deep in thought. Her stomach twisted a bit when he didn't immediately tell her what was on his mind.

"Are you thinking about Parker?" She asked, venturing a guess , she looked up so that she could see his eyes. He held a deep sadness within them, and she knew that she was right, and she was, though only partly right.

"That's some of it." He whispered.

"What else?" She asked.

"I think that I made a mistake." He said, watching her mouth open a bit, her eyes widen. "No, Bones… not… not with us… don't even go there." He warned. "I don't think that I should have left." He replied. I had a good live in D.C… Good job, good friends… family." He said, meeting her eyes. "It was selfish of me to leave."

"But Booth, you argued that it would be selfish of you to not leave… you saved lives in Afghanistan… you were needed."

"No, you were right… there were other guys that could teach those guys… I didn't have to be there." He said, shaking his head.

"So you're regretting your decision to go back into the army."

"Yes." He said, swallowing hard. "When I was discharged the first time… I left with honors… with commendations… this time, I felt like I left the army with a black eye and a bloody nose, and a sympathy discharge." He sighed, avoiding eye contact with her for a moment.

"You were ill, Booth. It happens."

"It doesn't happen to me." He whispered. "I was too old to go back. I shouldn't have left." He said. "I missed six months of my son's life just so I could make an ass out of myself."

"Well, aren't you glad that you're not going to be making an ass out of yourself for six more months?" She asked, noticing immediately that her words hadn't quite made him feel better. "I mean… I didn't mean…"

"Its fine, Bones. I get what you mean." He said, staring at the Christmas tree.

There was silence then, between the both of them as the elephant in the room began to parade before them, its big feet slamming into their minds as loudly as the heartbeats in their chests. There was an internal debate between both of them, a contest of sorts of which one was going to point it out. He heard her intake of breath first, and tried to duck for cover, closing his eyes.

"I have to go back, Booth." She said softly. "You'll go home… you'll be okay at home. Parker is there, you can work on some boring cases, maybe even…"

"I don't want to work on cases without my partner." He said, turning his face toward her, his jaw was clicking as he tried to maintain control.

"Your partner… me…" She sighed. "I had agreed to the full year, Booth. I… unlike you, do not regret my decision to go to Maluku. I think that the dig has been an amazing experience, and an endeavor that will be rewarded in the future on many fronts…History, anthropology… evolutionary theories. All of these things have been tested because of things that I have done." She said, watching his jaw click again. "I feel that I have done something great in these six months, and…"

"And you want to be selfish." He said, pushing her legs softly, he tried to stand up.

"No." She replied. "No, I'm not… not trying to be selfish." She defended. "I'm not doing this for myself, I'm doing this for the future of mankind… the truth. I'm doing this to educate and… and…"

"For the fame and the journal articles… professional glory… I get it, Bones." He said, pushing himself out of the chair, she slid down into the chair.

"Booth, it's my job!" She exclaimed in a frantic whisper as she stood up quickly, watching him stand closer to the tree, staring at the lights and decorations as she watched him breathe. "You're the one being selfish." She replied. "You want me to leave my responsibilities behind and come home to just be with you… to be your partner… because it's what you want to do. That's selfish, Booth… not what I am doing. I am sacrificing time with you, to finish my obligations. I know it hurts, but its reality, Booth. It's reality, and it's the way things are going to be."

"So this…" He said, indicating the space between them. "This isn't enough for you? We aren't enough for you?" He asked sharply, his face inches from hers as he tried to keep his voice down.

"Booth."

"Bones, I just don't understand you sometimes, you know? You spent two weeks… two weeks worrying yourself sick over where I was… but you can stand here and tell me that our relationship isn't worth the findings in some stupid hole in the jungle?" He asked. "That's just stupid!" He exclaimed.

"It is not stupid! It's logical! It's the right and logical thing to do, Booth. You and I can continue our relationship when I return! Nothing is going to change… nothing changed in the first six months."

"You really believe that?" He asked, letting a puff of arrogance escape. "You really think that in the past six months… nothing has changed between us?" He asked.

"No." She shook her head, her face showing her obvious confusion. "No." She repeated, and he could tell that she was trying to convince herself.

"What if you get sick again?"

"Booth, I told you that the chances of that happening are remote."

"You could die if you get that… fever again." He said.

"Booth. You're being horribly unreasonable about this. Your reasoning has no basis… I can take precautions to ensure that I am not bitten again."

"You're weaker now, Bones." He sighed.

"I am fine, Booth… your excuses are… you're… you're grasping at strings, Booth."

"Straws, Bones. Grasping at straws… Maybe you're right." He grunted, looking down he let a breath escape.

"Maybe I'm right about what?" She asked. "About why I should go?"

"Nothing, Bones." He said, looking up into her eyes, he shook his head and turned, walking across the room, he pulled his coat from the coat rack.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going for a walk." He said, feeling her hands on him as he turned his back on her.

"Booth, please? Don't go… we can talk about this more…"

"No." he said, turning toward her. "No, we can't talk about this more. You made your decision… that's fine. I'm going to just have to deal with it." He sighed. "I'll come back… so don't come looking for me. I just need some time and space." He said, watching her for a moment. She looked absolutely terrified. "I'll be back." He said, leaning forward, he was about to kiss her forehead and stopped himself, pulling back, he looked into her eyes and let his thumb run over her cheek. "I just need to figure out a way to deal with reality." He said, turning away from her, he walked out the door, letting it close solidly behind him, leaving her staring after him, her stomach quickly sinking.


	25. It's Always About Time

_**She awoke with a start, and immediately regretted it. Her muscles screamed in protest, her vision flashed white as pain shot through her entire body, a jagged rock poking into her back as she shifted almost reflexively, sending more pain through her fatigued and tight muscles. She gasped when she heard several bits of dirt and stone tumbling above her in her movement, raining down onto her for a moment, before she realized that her movement was putting herself in jeopardy.**_

_**She let out a pain filled groan, the only other sound being her heavy breathing of the surrounding stale air. She stopped moving to listen, and heard the sound of a rainstorm above, suddenly realizing that the drops of water onto her dirt covered face and body were the reason she had been roused from her nightmare filled sleep. However, it only succeeded in thrusting her into just another nightmare as she moved her hands around her makeshift grave, the darkness making it impossible to tell if her eyes were open or closed.**_

_**She had flashes in her mind, covering her eyes with her hand to ensure that her eyes were closed, she tried to imagine things, give something around her shape as the sound of the rain above became louder and more insistent. She shifted a little, pulling with great effort on her leg as she nearly fell over herself with the intense pain shooting through her ankle and knee. Her thighs were tight and cramped, and each movement caused her to pull on the muscles a little harder, sending shockwaves of white pain through her body as she cried out to no one. She dug her fingernails into the wooden rail tie that she had found herself lying against, the splinters breaking off causing prickles of pain through her fingers.**_

_**She rested her head on the wooden pole, now in an almost standing position as she rested her forehead on the pole. She pulled her bag with her, folding her body over it as she attempted to protect its contents. She still had several bottles of water, perhaps a bit of food, and a few other items that she didn't want to have damaged. She could feel hot tears mixing with the cold water that had soaked her body, and though she knew she had no one to hide her tears from, she felt embarrassed and ridiculous. It was her decision to return, her decision to go back to the dig site that morning for one more hour. It was her own weaknesses that put her in this situation, her own insecurities, and she was damned if she was going to let them take her over now.**_

_**She opened her eyes and saw only blackness, her hand slipping into the bag in her arms as she let her thumb slide over the smooth metal belt buckle. She had a sharp intake of breath and tried to hold in the sob, moving her feet just a little, she could feel her boots sinking into the mud, the water from the rain rolled down the wet rocks and dirt, seeping into the once dry rocks that surrounded her. Visions of parasites, snakes, rats, and mosquitoes plagued her mind. She could feel the rocks around her, knowing that with the wetness and saturation, she could die of pneumonia or sickness before someone found their way to her, and those were things that she could handle. It was the prospect of starvation that frightened her the most, knowing that Booth wouldn't rest until he found her, only to learn that she had suffered a long, torturous death beneath the ground, and he wasn't able to get to her. Yes, she'd prefer to be crushed to death beneath the debris and dirt that she had left him in order to be near, then have him know that her death had been long and drawn out.**_

_**An ironic death would be the only death that she would accept at this point, crushed by her own obsession, she closed her eyes and began to cry. Her tears mixed with the rain, and she began to hyper ventilate from the force of her sobs, gripping the wooden post with all of the strength she could, digging her nails into the wood until her fingertips bled, as she cried out in agony, cried out in frustration, cried out in regret, sobbing his name in great oxygen gulping sobs as she breathed long, deep, and hard, until the darkness that surrounded her combined with the darkness of her thoughts, and she passed out due to pure fear and exhaustion.**_

* * *

_The resounding knock at the door came at approximately seven fifteen. Brennan rushed toward the door, her hand on her necklace as she tried to clasp it as she reached the door. Unable to do so, she swung the door open and turned at the same time, not taking a moment to even note his appearance or anything and she just rushed in the opposite direction. "Hey, Come on in." She said as she disappeared down the hallway. It was another moment that she realized that he didn't walk in, she turned as her necklace finally clasped and found that he wasn't in her apartment, and the door had been firmly closed. "Booth?" She called as she stepped down the hallway. "Booth, didn't you come in?" She asked, walking to the door, she opened it, to find him standing there, his hands behind his back as he looked at her expectantly. "What?"_

_"You just… tell your date to 'come in', and walk away?"_

_"Well you… you know my apartment, I thought… Regardless, you're fifteen minutes late." She changed the subject quickly._

_"Yes. I apologize." He replied._

_"Would you like to come in?"_

_"Sure." He said, a slight grin on his face as she looked at him with a confused look. "You're going to go out with me like that?" He asked, nodding toward the fluffy bathrobe she had wrapped around herself, she looked down and back at him with a slight scowl._

_"I was getting my hair ready… I'll be right back." She said as she turned, stopping after a step she turned to him. "I know that you're thinking that is good that you weren't on time, since I'm obviously not ready right now…"_

_"Bones…" Booth said, letting a grin rise on his lips._

_"Right… I'll be right back." She said, hurrying down the hallway, she left him beside the door._

_Booth walked around her apartment a bit, listening to her down the hallway as she got ready, he whistled softly and walked around, finally hearing the clacking of shoes, he turned and his jaw nearly literally dropped. Standing before him in a brilliantly red dress, was the most beautiful woman he had ever known. He stared at her for a moment, his eyes taking each and every inch of her into its memory banks as he finally raised his eyes to hers. "You look…" He swallowed hard as he watched her eyes narrow slightly. "You look absolutely breathtaking." He whispered as she smiled sweetly at him._

_"I…" She paused, watching the look on his face as it began to fall. "Thank you." She said softly, clutching her bag in her hands as she took a step toward him. "Are you ready to go?"_

_"Yes." He nodded. "Yes, I'm ready to go." He said, stepping forward, he put his hand at the small of her back and led her toward the door, he took one more long look as they stepped through the doorway, his eyes following every contour of her body as he closed the door behind him, ensuring that it was locked. "You know… I can't help but think that this dress looks really familiar." He said with a playful chuckle as she walked down the steps in front of him, a long pause between them as she reached the door to the outside._

_"Well, I should hope it looks familiar." She said as he opened the door for her, ushering her through its entrance. "You're the one that picked it out." She said with a playful smile, she turned and walked toward his SUV without another word._

_

* * *

_

_She stepped toward her side of the SUV, and without warning, he swung around her and grasped the door handle, fully aware that his move would get a glare from the beautiful woman beside him. "I am not helpless." She replied as he opened the door, taking her hand._

_"And I would never say that were true about you, Bones." He said, smiling sweetly at the narrowed eyes as her lips twitched to a smile, and she allowed him to help her into her seat._

_"Would you like to fasten my seatbelt for me as well?" She asked, a hint of sarcasm prickling her voice as she listened to his light laughter._

_"Don't push it, Bones." he said, letting her gentle laughter tickle his ear as he closed her door for her and walked around the other side of the car._

_He climbed into his seat and began the drive toward the city. "Where are you taking me?"_

_"Someplace nice." He replied, giving her a sideways glance, he flashed her a sly smile. "You'll see, you'll love it."_

_"How can you be so sure?"_

_"I pride myself in knowing you well, Bones." He replied, watching her cheeks redden slightly, she shied from the conversation for a moment and looked out the window. "So are you to going to tell me why you were running so far behind this evening? I was fifteen minutes late, and you weren't even ready. That's not like you, Bones." He teased._

_"I was doing some… things, I had some things that I had to do." She replied._

_"Some… things?" He laughed lightly and smiled at her glare._

_"I was taking my time getting ready… and in the customary routine of dating, I felt that it would be natural in making my date… perspire at the prospect of accompanying me on an evening of dining and dancing."_

_"You wanted me to sweat it out, huh?" He laughed._

_"Precisely." She said, sharing a laugh with him, as they drove to the restaurant, he reached his hand across to her and gripped it tightly._

_"I love you." He said, bringing her hand to his lips he shook his head and laughed, glancing to her over her hand to ensure there were no signs of panic at the tenderness of his words._

_

* * *

_

_They arrived at the small, intimate restaurant in relative silence, and if Brennan wasn't mistaken, she could nearly feel the electricity in the air, though she'd never actually admit it. She chided him when he rushed to her door and opened it for her, and let out a playful giggle when he offered her an arm to hold as he escorted her through the doors to their table._

_Their meals were relaxing, the gentle music over the speaker guiding them through a most romantic dinner. The conversation was easy and never forced, and when his hand touched hers across the table, it never once felt wrong or foreign. It was odd, this first date, because it seemed like they had already been dating forever, that the two of them being together, sharing a night of food and laughter was something they had been doing for years._

_After they had eaten, they had found themselves talking for nearly an hour afterward, laughing at stories and simply enjoying the company of one another. Booth then looked to his watch and smiled over at her. "We should get to the club… you wanted to dance, didn't you?" He asked, tipping his head as she smiled seductively. He already noticed that she had then averted her gaze, and he had no idea what it was about. "Hey, are you okay, Bones?" He asked, as a small ripple of panic worked its way through him._

_"Wonderful." She replied, letting her eyes catch his for a moment before they moved down again._

_"Something bothering you?" He asked, watching her fingers clutch her bag a little tighter, he tipped his head and watched her carefully. "It's okay to be nervous." He tried, knowing that she most likely wasn't, he knew that telling her that it was natural would at least get her to tell him what was going on in that gorgeous head of hers._

_"I am not nervous, Booth." She said, darting her eyes directly into his. "What do I have to be nervous about? You and I have had many dinners together." She said, noticing the look of satisfaction in his eyes, the knowledge that he had gotten her attention. "I have something for you." She whispered._

_"You have something for me?" He asked, raising his eyebrows as he leaned on the table so that she could get a good look in his eyes._

_"Yes." She said softly, opening her small clutch bag, she pulled a slightly worn square of paper, folded. The same piece of paper that she had taken from her suitcase the day before. Her daintily painted fingertips touched the paper and put pressure on it as she slid it across the table toward him._

_His brow furrowed as his eyes stayed with hers for a moment, and when he looked down at her hand, he noticed that her hand was trembling just slightly. It wasn't enough for the average person to notice, but he knew her, every inch of her, and he could see that this moment was not just something she had been waiting for, but something that scared her. "What is this?"_

_"Open it." She replied, looking at him curiously, he opened the paper and looked at the words written on it. "I found it in a bag of mine."_

_His eyes moved over the paper and an eyebrow quirked, and a brown eye lifted to meet hers. "A betting slip."_

_"From Las Vegas…" She said, watching his smile as he stared at the paper. "That fight was an incredible display of your male prowess. I was very impressed."_

_"You were impressed?" He asked, smiling sweetly at her as she watched his eyes remained on hers, a blush working through her cheeks. "Is that why you wore the dress from that night?"_

_"You did recognize it." She said proudly, watching the smile on his face._

_"I did." He nodded. "So what are you trying to tell me tonight, Bones? Because you never do anything just to be sentimental." He smiled. "You always have a reason behind everything."_

_"Well…" She said, reaching across the table, she pulled the tiny paper from his fingertips, dropping it to the table, she let one of her fingers rest on it. "I bet on you back then… for beginner's luck… even though the odds were really far against you." She said as she slid it toward her, she folded it and put it back in her bag as she looked up at him again. "I figured… since I'm new at… Love…" She said, the word sliding off her lips tenderly. "That my beginner's luck might come in handy." She shrugged._

_"And, what are my odds now?" He asked, mesmerized by her gaze._

_"Oh…" She said, her voice soft. "I think the odds are in your favor this time." She said, reaching her hand across the table, he gripped it tightly as he felt his heart beating wildly in his chest._

_"Let's get out of here to that dance… what do you say?" He asked, her only response being to stand and wait for his guiding hand to lead her to the door._

_

* * *

_

_He escorted her to the car, surprised by the thunder in the distance as he hurried to help her into the passenger seat as it started to pour just as he climbed into the driver's seat. "Well, I guess taking a walk later is out." He said as he climbed into the car, and was met by his partner's tender smile._

_"There will be time for a walk together, don't worry. We don't have to do everything tonight, Booth. It's not as if we're leaving tomorrow."_

_"I know." He replied. "I just… I want to do everything with you." He said, seeing the look on her face, he shook his head. "Everything I can… Bones… everything I can." He said, putting the car into drive, they headed for the highway._

_They remained quiet for the most part, battling the heavy rain and wind among the traffic on the highway. She watched his determined face, and let her eyes dance along his features. Her eyes lingered on his strong jaw line, and the way his eyes would flash to meet hers, a smile sliding onto his face. "You're watching me a lot." He replied._

_"I'm just admiring." She replied. "It isn't making you uncomfortable, is it?" She asked, sincerely._

_"What? No… no, it's not making me uncomfortable." He said, shaking his head. "It's just fine, perfect." He replied. The rain pounded on the car, and without warning, there was the sound of a loud pop. "Crap, hang on." he said as they felt the car jolt suddenly and Booth struggled to keep the car in control, as he pulled the wheel hard, slamming on his brakes as they pulled to the side of the road. Booth was panting slightly as he stared out the window for a second, turning to look at his partner. "Are you okay?" He asked._

_"What was that?" She asked._

_"Tire blew out, are you okay?" He asked again._

_"I'm fine." She replied. "The tire blew out, how did the tire…"_

_"Don't worry about it." He said, starting to get out of the car._

_"Booth, we're on the highway."_

_"We're on the side of the road, it's fine." He said, pulling a flashlight from the center console. "Stay here, please." He said, climbing from his seat, he gave her a pointed look._

_"But it's raining." She said, watching him standing in the pouring rain for a moment, she watched him walk to the driver's front tire and close the door on her protests. She watched as he walked in front of the SUV, staring down at the tire, she watched him in the reflection of the headlights as he kicked the tire, shouting angry words. She could tell that he was quite upset, and picked her phone up and dialed a number._

_He stood outside, staring at the damage on the car, ready to scream at the complete and utter disappointment he was feeling that their evening was being destroyed this way. "It figures!" He screamed, kicking the rim of the tire. "It goddamned figures!" He shouted. He didn't have the heart to open the door to tell her that they were going to have to call a tow truck, he didn't have the heart to disappoint her like that. So he stood in the rain, feeling it pour over him, soaking him through to the skin as he rubbed his hands over his face. He was about to turn to get into the car, when he came face to face with the woman he was about to confess their predicament to, and his breath caught in his throat as she stood before him. The rain was soaking her skin, hair, and dress, forcing the fabric to stick to her body, her hair flattened by the falling rain, but the sparkle in her eyes was so bright, so welcoming. "Bones, what are you doing out of the…"_

_His exclamation was stopped by her lips, her arms wrapping around the back of his neck as he squeezed her to him. She held him to the kiss for several moments, their tongues fighting as she pulled away and looked him directly in the eyes. "I love you." She whispered, the rain dripping from her face as she watched his eyes, the confusion within them was obvious._

_"Don't you think there is a better time and place to be telling me this? Not in the middle of a monsoon on the side of the highway?" He said, listening to her laugh, he couldn't help but laugh himself._

_"I made two phone calls." She said, watching his face as they just continued to stand in the rain. "I called a tow truck, and I called a cab…"_

_"Bones."_

_"The tow truck is for the car… it'll take it where ever you want it to go." She tipped her head. "The cab is for you and I."_

_"And where is that going?"_

_"Anywhere you want it to go." She replied. "As long as you and I are together…and as long as you can prove to me, that I made the best choice on my bet earlier."_

_"I'm sure I can do that…" He said, his forehead resting against hers._

_"You wouldn't be you, if you couldn't..." She said suggestively, her fingers pulling at his cocky belt buckle as he flashed her a smile. __"One more thing?" She whispered, hearing him hum a response. "Somehow, you have been able to… metaphorically stop my world from turning…" She whispered, closing her eyes for a moment. "I want you to… show me, teach me… prove to me…"_

_"Bones…" He said tenderly._

_"I want you to make love to me, Booth… with me… I want to break the laws of physics… all of them… but only with you… and starting tonight."_

_"But we never got that dance." He whispered, his breath seemed to be held in slightly as his eyes just danced with hers._

_"We can dance here…"_

_"In the rain?"_

_"What rain?" She whispered, resting her head on his chest, he pulled her closer, kissed the top of her head, and hummed a soft, if not off key tune, into her hair, as he swayed back and forth with her in the rain as they waited for their ride._

* * *

He couldn't have been gone for longer than an hour, perhaps an hour and a half, but the bitter cold night brought him back to the doorstep of his friend's apartment a little after midnight. He stepped into the small foyer, finding everything as he had left it, warm and cozy, the Christmas lights on the tree still glittering the room with its colors. He pulled his coat from his shoulders and hung it loosely on the hook beside the door, slipping his shoes off, he walked slowly through the apartment, being sure not to make a sound.

He looked around the corner to the couch, and found the person he had expected to be curled in a bed, dreaming of returning to the islands of which she had taken leave of. Instead, she lay curled on the couch, the blanket that had once been atop her had slid to the side, and in her hands, she held two packages.

He knelt beside the couch, tenderly running a finger over her cheek as her eyes opened slowly. She curled a bit more, reaching for the blanket, he got to it first and pulled it up onto her shoulder. "Why were you waiting for me?" He asked, her eyes telling him that she wouldn't be the first to speak.

"I wasn't waiting for you." She said, her voice holding a stubborn playfulness as she narrowed her eyes.

"Well then, who are those for?" he asked, nodding toward the two packages in her hands, she shrugged and rolled onto her back.

"I was heading into the kitchen to throw them away. I didn't think anyone would want them… I decided to stop at the couch and rest first." She replied, giving him a challenging look as he widened his eyes and dropped his jaw in faux surprise.

"You were going to throw my gifts away?" He asked.

"First of all, I never said they were your gifts… and second of all… maybe." She said with a shrug. She shifted a bit, and sat up, feeling as he sat down and rested her head into his lap, his hand moving down across her cheek as he smiled down on her. "I wanted to be the first to wish you a Merry Christmas." She whispered. She was rewarded with a smile, and she couldn't help but smile back.

"That was very thoughtful of you."

"I do love you, after all." She whispered, holding the gifts up, she watched him take them carefully. "Merry Christmas, Booth."

"Merry Christmas, Bones." He said, watching her eyes as he set the gifts on his other leg, her head turning so she could see him better.

"Aren't you going to open them?" She asked, watching his eyes flash between her and the gifts in his hand, he shrugged.

"You want me to?"

"Yes. I don't think they're appropriate gifts to be opened in front of others. They're quite personal." She whispered, watching his eyes as he moved them toward the two gifts, and back to her.

"Come here…" He said, tugging her a bit, he wanted her to pull herself farther onto his lap, sitting up. She felt rather silly sitting this way, but also knew that his arms were comfortable, and it didn't matter how he held her, as long as she was in his arms. She shifted slightly, pulling herself onto his legs as he lifted the gifts over her and set them on her lap for a moment. He reached for the blanket and pulled it to cover her legs and torso, and her head found its way to his shoulder as he held her near. The gifts remained in her lap as he just held her for a moment, kissing her head.

"Did your walk help to clear your mind?" She whispered.

"I don't know." He replied honestly. "It's not clearer." He sighed.

"I…" She swallowed. "I don't have to go back if you really don't want me to." She conceded, trying to hold in the sigh that she found was evident in her voice, however, he found it.

"It's not up to me, Bones." He replied. "You're right… it's your decision, your obligation, and I will survive another six months without you. It will be painful at times, it will be hard… but I'll be home, surrounded by things that remind me of you, of us… I'll have Parker. I'll be okay, you don't have to make a decision based on what you think I want. I want you to make a decision based on what you want. Because above all else, I want you to be happy, baby… no regrets."

"No regrets." She whispered back, thinking about his words, interpreting them, the tone and the words themselves. "Booth? I haven't made a final decision yet, you know. I don't want to make a decision without knowing everything."

"That's my Bones." He said, kissing her forehead. "Always looking for the truth. We don't have to worry about it now… I just want to be with you right now." He whispered.

"Open this one first." She whispered, handing him a small gift from her hands, he held her and reached his arm around her, so that he could hold the gift with two hands. He slowly opened the package, finding a small box within the colorful wrapping paper. He was quiet as he opened the wrapping, tenderly tearing at the paper until only the box remained. He opened the box and looked inside, reaching his fingertip inside, he pulled out her mother's ring.

"Bones…" He said softly.

"I need you to hold onto it for just a little longer." She whispered. "Is that okay?"

"You still have my buckle, huh?"

"I do." She whispered, feeling a bit shy by the question, she cuddled into him. "It has helped me a great deal when I am thinking about you, missing you… loving you from afar." She whispered.

"I'm glad that I can help you, Bones." He whispered, cuddling her a little more, holding the second gift in his hand. He held the box in one hand as she helped him unwrap it, the square box was a little larger than the last, and when the wrapper was off, he gasped a bit at the label on the box. "Bones… a Rolex?"

"It's a very nice watch, Booth." She replied, watching him fumble with the packaging a bit as he tried to open it.

"I don't doubt that it is a very nice watch, Bones… it's a very expensive watch… a very…"

"Special watch… Booth." She whispered as he stared at the white gold band in front of him, the light blue face with the simple silver numbers across it. "Turn it over." She said, watching as he turned it to the back of the watch, and he read the inscription. "I didn't know exactly what to have inscribed, but…" She said as suddenly, she found his hand on her jaw as he pulled her face to his and his lips found their way to hers. He cradled her in his arms as he kissed her again and again. "You like it?" She whispered.

"I love it, Bones… I love it." He said, kissing her lips again, he looked into her eyes and watched the lights of the Christmas tree reflect back at him. "It's about time…" He whispered, reciting the words on the back of the watch.

"You forgot the part where it says…"

"Love, Bones." He whispered, smiling into her eyes, he leaned down for another kiss.

"Merry Christmas, Booth."

"Merry Christmas, Bones." He whispered, kissing her again, and held her for several more minutes, before they made their way slowly and happily into her room, where they curled together among the sheets and blankets, and fell to sleep quickly and dreamlessly.


	26. The Power of Prayer, Hope, and Faith

_The cab ride was a complete haze filled with soft touches, quiet words as he held her close to him despite their soaking clothes and skin. He pressed his nose into her skin, reveling in the scent of this woman that he had fallen in love with years ago, a woman who had broken his heart on numerous occasions, be it with her knowledge or not. Neither could tell who paid the cab, or how they got into the apartment, because all attention was not on the actions around these two people, but on the action of them._

_They stumbled almost gracefully into the apartment, clothes were still intact, but fumbling fingers, and the hot kisses across bare skin were very close to changing that fact. They pushed their way around the apartment, and he almost tripped over an item or two as he pushed her against her closed bedroom door, and pulled his mouth from her neck. "Bones…" He gasped, his smile melting her heart as she tried to catch her breath._

_She pushed her body against his and turned him around, slamming his back against the door as her knee slid up his leg and rested against this thigh, sliding down to the floor, she pressed her body into him. "What do you think?" She whispered into his ear as he let out a frustrated groan, and perhaps a slight whimper as he pressed his lips onto her neck._

_"I love you, baby." He whispered, his breath husky with desire._

_"I love you…God how I love you." She moaned as he crashed her into him and pulled at the door, sending them tumbling into the room in a hurried mess of limbs and chaos, as their love melded together, their hearts fused into one, and their screams of passion were only quelled by whispers of desire and sighs of contentment the whole night through._

* * *

_When their eyes finally graced the brightness of the morning light, he thought for a split second that it was a dream. This wasn't his bed, these weren't his sheets wrapped around them, and the woman that lay beside him was not his partner, at least not in the same way she had been the night before, and he was perfectly fine with that. They had literally exhausted one another in their passionate frenzy the night before, and as he watched her sleep, Booth couldn't help but want to relive each and every moment of their time together. He could remember each and every touch, taste each and every taste and smell her sweet, elegant scent as it invaded his senses. He listened closely to her breathing as he thought of the sensual words that she whispered throughout the night, words he never thought he'd hear the always prim and proper Temperance Brennan utter. These were words that he had gotten her to speak, feelings that he had gotten her to feel, and it was he that had opened her heart to the possibility that she was worthy enough to be loved eternally, and completely by someone who she cared about. He watched the angelic expression on her face, and smiled as he watch her sleeping beside him._

_Very carefully, he pulled his legs from hers, his arms from around her as he smiled at the thought of maybe being able to get up and make her something special for breakfast. At the very least, he wanted to make her some coffee before they took care of the day's issues of his newly towed SUV, among other things. It almost pained him to move from her warm body, but he couldn't keep his eyes off of her as he turned for just a moment and lifted his suit pants from the floor. He concentrated for a moment as he slipped his boxers back on, and then the pants._

_Slowly pulling the pants onto his hips, he gave a glance back to the sleepy eyes that were looking up at him. He carefully buttoned them, and felt guilty for having to leave the room, guilty for having to leave her for Afghanistan. Her eyes closed and he smiled as he walked around the bed, climbing slowly onto the side that he had claimed for the past four hours. His chest was still bare, his belt in his hand as he slowly threaded a stray hair around his finger, carefully tucking it behind her ear. "Baby?" He whispered, receiving no response, he kissed her nose, and no response, just a sly smile on her lips. "Why are you teasing me, Bones?"_

_"Because you're leaving." She whispered._

_"You're leaving." He stated, though his voice was tender, interpreting that to mean the longer trip, and not the trip to the kitchen that he was actually going to be making that morning. He swallowed hard as he gripped the item in his hands, his fingers trembling slightly as he watched her keep her eyes closed. "I want to give you something."_

_"What?" She whispered, still not opening her eyes, he sighed._

_"You have to open your eyes."_

_"No. I'm trying to keep your voice in my mind." She whispered, her words touching his heart as he remembered how she tried to memorize his heart beat._

_"I promise that I will call you, baby." He whispered. "You'll hear my voice. I promise. Open your eyes, please?"_

_"No." She said, holding her hand out. "Put it in my hand." She said softly, listening to his gentle laugh as he shook his head and finally, after a moment, placed it in her hand. As soon as she felt it in her fingertips her smile brightened, and she knew what it was. "What are you doing?" She asked, tilting her head as her eyes opened. He found her stare to be penetrating, beautiful, and so full of warmth, that it gave him butterflies in his stomach._

_"What do you mean?" He whispered. "I need you to hold onto it for me." He said with a wink as his lips curled to a knowing smile. "I'm not going to have much need for a cocky belt buckle with my fatigues, Bones." He said as he watched her smile fade a little as she gently ran her finger over the belt buckle._

_"I can't take it, Booth." She whispered. "It was a gift to you." She shook her head._

_"It was a gift from you… and you said it was 'Boothy'… You appreciate it; I want you to hold onto it for me… so you know that I'm not going to be cocky out there in that war zone." He shrugged, his eyes showing the innocence of his action, and his need for her to be alright with his leaving, their leaving._

_"So you're saying that the belt buckle is the source of your smug, overconfident, superior demeanor?" She asked, a sly smile flickering across her face as she raised her eyebrows at him, knowing that her comment would make him laugh._

_"Yes." He said, his brow furrowed and she let out what he swore was a giggle. "Hey…" He said, with a laugh as he caught her lips with his own and let it linger for a moment. "So will you keep it for me?"_

_"I'll keep it for you."_

_"You're going to miss me, right?" He whispered, his concern genuine, and she could see it in his eyes._

_"Of course."_

_"Good, because I'm going to miss you too." He said with a smile, pulling her into a hug, he kissed her head softly and held her, as she held the belt buckle to her heart, and just let him hold her for a while._

* * *

_They had been lying together for quite a while, and his arms were embracing her as she felt his nose nuzzling her neck. She sighed a soft, delicate sigh, reveling in his hold as she turned to look at him. In his eyes, she could see the love that he had proven to her during the night and into the early morning hours, and her hand lifted to touch his cheek. The warm skin and stubble that scratched her skin only reminded her further of the reality of the situation, the reality of where they were, and how real all of this was._

_He then lifted his hand to hers, capturing her fingers in his palm as his fingers entangled with hers, and his arm reached around her, keeping their fingers together. His fingers rolled over the ring on her finger again and again as she breathed in his warmth and strength with each breath. She couldn't help a slight laugh erupting from her lips as she watched the serious look on his face as his forefinger just continued to roll over the ring, twisting it in circles as he hummed playfully. "What are you doing?" She asked, a tiny giggle on her lips._

_"Being with you." He whispered back. "For as long as I can." He heard her sharp intake of breath, and knew that the words he had spoken had been true. Their separation was not going to be easy, and he almost feared that they had made that reality even more difficult to face than before._

_"You're half dressed." She said softly, knowing that he had at least slipped his pants back on, she still held his belt buckle in her other hand, and couldn't see herself letting it go._  
_"Or am I half naked?" He whispered into her neck as she laughed, pulling her hand from his, he growled playfully behind her, missing the warmth of her body against his, he watched her turned in his arms to face him. The buckle was still in her hand, her grip on it was tight and her eyes were thoughtful as he watched her eyes and nothing else for a moment. After a moment, she held a hand to him, a closed fist and he smiled with curiosity._

_"What is this?" He asked. He kept his voice low and thought filled, and his eyes were shining with so much affection that it was difficult for her not to just pull him into her and have her wicked way with him again. Her eyes were bright and tender and they widened slightly as she continued to hold her hand out. He finally opened his palm, and she simply dropped the ring that had been on her finger solidly into his hand. She then closed his fist over the ring, and waited for his eyes to lock onto hers. "Bones, I can't take your mother's ring." He whispered._

_"Yes you can." She replied, her eyes still locked with his own. "And it's not my mother's ring. It's my ring. It was passed on to me so that I would have something to remind me of her." She paused, and he could feel the emotion in her next words, and knew that it was difficult for her to say. "I want you to have something with you, Booth. I want you to have something that reminds you of me." She smiled._

_"Bones." He whispered, his heart beating wildly in his chest, his mouth slightly dry, and the words still wouldn't come. "You don't... believe in things like this. You don't do things like this. Things are just... things to you." He said, watching her eyes narrow slightly. It wasn't a motion of anger or frustration, but one of challenge._

_"Do you believe that?" She asked him, their eyes still locked._

_"Do I believe that things are just things?" He asked. "No. I gave you my belt buckle." He said, smiling tenderly._

_"You said you gave it to me to hold onto... so that you wouldn't be a hero, so you wouldn't be arrogant. You said you gave it to me because it wouldn't go well with your fatigues." She stated, all true statements, but he knew that she was simply trying to make a point, he couldn't help but stretch it._

_"Do you believe that to be true?" He whispered, watching a slight smile on her face as she replied._

_"Well, I don't think it would go well with your fatigues, Booth. I don't believe the army would let you wear it." She stated._

_"And where would it see better use?" He whispered. "In the bottom of a bag, or in the center of your hand where you can hold it, look at it, and smile... knowing that I'm not being an arrogant ass to someone." He smiled, a real smile, watching the sincerity in her eyes._

_"Take the ring, Booth."_

_"Bones."_

_"Why won't you take the ring?" She whispered, his heart clenched when he saw the tears in her eyes, the pleading within her soul. "Please Booth... just take the ring...Here." She said, he watched her reach down and her hand slid into his pocket. He let out a bit of a grunt, her body so close to his that he could almost taste it again. In an instant, she was pulling away from him, and he watched as his St. Christopher medal came into view._

_"Bones." He said, noticing that she was becoming increasingly upset as she went about her task, her fingers fumbling on the latch of the chain, he reached his hands out and steadied them. Her eyes lifted to his, and she could instantly see that there was nothing to be afraid of. He held his hand out to her, with his eyes steady on hers, and she tenderly placed the ring on his palm and watched as he brought it to his fingertips. He gave her a serious nod, the sincerity in his eyes was enough to give her a shiver down her spine. "I will take your ring." He whispered, allowing it to slide down the chain, he listened to the two charms touch. "But I am giving it back to you when I see you again."_

_"And I'll give this back... when i see you again." She whispered, her smile warming his heart as he carefully clasped the chain around his neck, letting the two charms dangle for a moment before he let them settle in his palm._

_"Your ring is in very good company." He said softly._

_"And it's fitting that they rest against your sternum." She whispered, placing her hand against his chest, she watched his smile as he lifted his hand to tuck her hair behind her ear._

_"You're already in my heart, baby." He said, as he leaned over and kissed her tenderly, the two charms clinking together as he pulled her closer into him._

_"I don't want to go." She whispered, so tenderly that he wasn't sure if he had heard her correctly._

_"It'll be okay, Bones." He replied. "We'll be okay."_

_"I don't want to go anymore." She whispered, her eyes filled with tears as he watched the fear in them._

_"We'll be together, baby. We'll take it one day at a time... one week at a time... and before we know it, we'll be together."_

_"What if something happens?" She whispered._

_"Nothing is going to happen." He said, pulling her into him, he kissed her tenderly again and again. "I'm not going to let anything happen." He said, waiting for her to say it wasn't possible, yet at the same time relieved that she might actually believe that it could be true._

* * *

_**A loud rumble above her made her jump, bits of damp dirt and small stones slid down from above, and she gasped when she realized that her only source of oxygen, that small hole above her, was becoming smaller. It took all of her strength not to begin to panic again. She shivered against the wetness and cold that surrounded her, and for a moment, she was sure that she had wet herself during the night, as the pungent odor of urine reached her nostrils. She heard the rumble again, sure that it was thunder, or possibly another aftershock, she prayed for a moment that it would just crush her to death and get it over with.**_

_**"No." She whispered, her voice was thick and unfamiliar, and it surprised her. She heard the rumble again, and this time it became clearer to her what it was as she noticed the shadow over the small hole above her. It was a helicopter.**_

_**Rescue**_

_**Rescue was so close, yet there was no way for them to know where she was. She heard the rumble again, her voice calling out once, then twice.**_

_**Then nothing.**_

_**As quickly as the sound had appeared, it had disappeared.**_

_**It was replaced by deafening silence.**_

_**She continued to tremble from the wetness, her hand rubbing across her eye, she could feel the dirt scraping her skin as she tried to move her feet, cemented in the mud, she crouched down and pulled at the laces on her boots, sliding them off, she pulled her socked feet from within them and slid her legs up as she tried to move toward her only light source. Rocks and dirt tumbled from above, and she tried again not to move, struggling to remain strong as she called out again and again, hearing nothing, feeling only pain as she settled in the most comfortable position she could. She closed her eyes, she listened to her breathing, hearing her own heartbeat, she tried to remember his. Her hand slipped into the bag in her arms and she immediately found the small square of metal that had managed to keep her composed in some of the most lonely moments of her time without him, and she closed her eyes.**_

_**Just the thought of his heartbeat, the sound of his voice broke her heart, and she tried to keep control, tried to remain calm, but her emotions and fear proved to be no match for reality as she began to cry. Her sobs were loud and sorrow filled as she allowed the hot tears to roll down her cheeks, cleansing what they could as she tried desperately not to give up hope that those helicopters were only the beginning of the search. All she could do was pray.**_

**_Pray and Hope... and have faith._**

* * *

The loud thumping of his heartbeat in her ear was the first thing she heard as she moved slightly in his arms, positioning her head just above his sternum and she stretched her arm across him completely. Booth was not unaware of her movement, and wrapped his arm securely around her, allowing her to remain curled into him for as long as she'd like.

"I smell coffee." She whispered.

"Hodgins and Angela are probably attempting to smoke us out." He whispered into her hair. "Merry Christmas, baby." He whispered.

Her head lifted from his chest and she smiled at him, her eyes moving from his lips back to his eyes again. "Merry Christmas. How long have you been awake?" She asked him, watching his eyes flicker across her features.

"An hour, at least."

"And you didn't wake me?"

"There was no reason to wake you. You seemed content." He replied, his hand moving through her hair as he watched the tendrils fall across the side of her face.

"I was content… I am content…"

"Content enough to come home with me so that we can spend every morning like this?" He whispered, hoping that she wouldn't get angry, and also hoping that she'd just agree. Her response, however was to bury her head in his chest with a stubborn groan.

The light knocking on the door sent his attention to the other side of the room. "Guys, there are pastries and coffee out here." Angela said softly as she waited for an answer.

"We'll be right out, Angela." Booth said. "Thank you." He said as he heard their friend's retreating feet as she left them alone. Brennan curled into him a little tighter. "Bones." He whispered.

"I heard her." She mumbled, sighing against him.

"And?"

"Shh…" She whispered.

He replied by pushing her gently away from him, rolling her onto her back as she closed her eyes tightly, his hands holding hers to the bed as she kept them closed. "Open your eyes." He whispered.

"No."

"Bones…" He said softly. "Look at me."

Her eyes opened wide and she was staring directly into his eyes. "What?"

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"Into the kitchen?" She asked, swallowing hard at the implication of what he might actually be asking.

"No, Bones… to Maluku…"

"Maluku." She corrected, a habit she had come to expect, her eyes widened when she realized he had said it correctly. "Booth?"

"I'll go with you, Bones… if you want me to."

"You don't have to, Booth."

"I want to." He whispered.

"You'd follow me to Indonesia… just because you don't want to be alone?" She whispered.

"No, Bones. I'd follow you anywhere… so that you don't have to be alone."


	27. The Difference Between Want and Need

_Brennan stood over her suitcase, staring at its contents with an insightful eye, trying to determine if she had packed too much or too little. She moved a few items around the suitcase, pulling her other bag over across the bed, she moved some of the objects within it around. She had three days before she left, three days before it was time to leave her home, her friends, her family for an entire year. She tried to think logically about it, and made a list of why she needed to go._

_It was her job._

_She had gone on trips before, digs before… this wasn't a big deal, it was like every other dig._

_Booth wasn't going to be around anyway._

_She sighed at that thought, the resignation of the fact that Booth wasn't going to be within earshot at all times was really starting to get to her, and no matter how she tried to compartmentalize, the truth was that she was going to miss him. She stared at her suitcase, thinking for a moment that she was concerned about the physical baggage that she was bringing with her, when in reality, her biggest issue was with the emotional baggage._

_She tossed another pair of shorts into her suitcase and stared at the bag for a moment, her concentration completely shot as she found herself once again thinking about everything she was going to be leaving. She closed her eyes, trying to block out the thoughts, attempting to compartmentalize, only to hear a familiar knock on the door._

_Her head turned to the door, and the knock came again. "Bones, you around?" Her eyes narrowed as she threw all focus to the wind and walked toward the door, opening it slowly, she narrowed her eyes at him. "What?" He asked, noting the almost glare, he was slightly confused. "What's wrong?"_

_"I thought we were taking today to get ready… I thought we were taking today off." She replied, though the tone in her voice was anything but convincing._

_"You missed me." He smiled, the playful tone in his voice was almost too much for her to bear and with a quick movement, she had grabbed his shirt and was pulling him into the apartment. "Whoa, Bones…" He laughed as he stumbled into the apartment. "Are you okay?"_

_"I'm fine." She said, closing the door, she ran her hands down her hips for a moment, scratching her palms against the material. "What are you doing here?"_

_"I was just going to invite you to dinner tomorrow…"_

_"You have Parker tomorrow." She replied. "And you couldn't call me?" She asked._

_"I could have called you." He shrugged as he walked toward her, she took a step back as he watched her lip curl up slightly, her eyes on his chest as she allowed him to corner her. "But then I couldn't do this over the phone." He said softly, pressing his lips to hers, she moaned into his mouth, a slight giggle in her throat as she felt his arms encircle her tightly, the kiss deepening for a moment before he broke the kiss and stood straighter, staring at her swollen lips for a moment as their eyes flicked from lips to eyes again._

_"I suppose you're correct." She whispered, her tongue running over her lips. "So… um…" She said, poking the button on his shirt, she appeared to be making conversation with his clothing as she swallowed hard, clearly trying to control her thoughts. "So… dinner tomorrow night with you and Parker."_

_"Right." He nodded. "He has a going away gift for you." He said, watching as her eyes lifted to his._

_"He didn't have to do that."_

_"It was his idea." Booth shrugged. "He also has another surprise for you."_

_"Booth, do you really think it's wise to allow him to express himself in such a way as to allude to the fact that he may have affection for me? You and I have only been dating for…" Her words were stopped by his lips, and after a soft, languid kiss, he raised his eyebrow at her._

_"He already loves you, Bones… dating his old man or not, you're still one of his favorite people. He's going to miss you. He told me so himself." Booth said with a smile._

_"Parker is a very nice boy, Booth." She whispered, her eyes falling to his shoulder where she picked at a piece of invisible lint. "He takes after his father." She said, her smile was slightly shy, and it only incited him further._

_"So you'll go to dinner with us tomorrow night? We'll have a going away celebration, just the three of us."_

_"I'll be free for dinner tomorrow evening." She nodded. "Is that all you needed?" She asked, lifting her eyes to meet his, she could see the mischief that he was trying so hard to hide behind._

_"That's all I needed." He whispered, swallowing hard._

_"Did you want anything else?" She whispered, her voice slightly higher than she would have liked as she attempted to maintain her composure._

_"Just you." He whispered, the word trickled across the space between them, and her eyes sparkled at him as he smiled just slightly. "Are you busy?"_

_"I'm… doing some things." She whispered, her eyes focusing on the button of his shirt again._

_"Do you think that maybe… you could fit me into your schedule?" He asked, sliding his finger beneath her chin, he brought her eyes to meet his._

_"I am quite flexible when it comes to you." She said, completely aware of the double entendre, and when his smile only brightened, she could see that he had gotten the hint as well._

_"That's exactly what I'm looking for…" He whispered, as his lips descended upon hers again, and they moved together and quickly toward the bedroom. Neither noticed or cared about the now fallen suitcase that lay upon the floor, as she went about releasing her emotional baggage that had been pent up, without want or need for any control at all._

* * *

_**The moment Booth stepped off the helicopter, he made his way as quickly as he could toward the shelter camp that was set up for the workers on the Maluku project. His eyes were nearly crazed as he searched for someone who knew something. He asked for Brennan, he asked for any kind of answers from the other scientists or workers, and could see that they all seemed in very good shape after such a disaster, though everyone he spoke with had the same answer when he asked where Doctor Brennan was.**_

_**I don't know.**_

_**"You don't know? You don't know where she is? She was head of this project, and not one of you people can tell me where Doctor Temperance Brennan is?" Booth raged as he almost literally shook a man wearing a t-shirt and shorts, his tag identifying him as a doctor.**_

_**"Sir, who are you? Are you alright, were you hurt in the earthquake?" Another person came out of one of the tents, concerned that this man's tirade was going to lead to someone getting hurt, when Booth heard a voice that he never once thought he'd be happy to hear.**_

_**"Agent Booth! Agent Booth! What are you doing here?" Daisy's voice squealed over that of the other people in the camp as people were being brought in from other regions, bodies of dead, bodies of injured, and those whose homes had been destroyed by the quake. "Thank God you're here!" She exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around him. He stood stunned for a moment, surprised and almost happy to see a familiar face.**_

_**"Where is Doctor Brennan?" He asked. "Where is Bones?"**_

_**"That's what I've been trying to tell everyone, Agent Booth… She went down into the dig site one more time before she left. They keep insisting that she's been accounted for, that she took the first car to the airport. They insist she was in the transport when the earthquake hit, but I know she was at the dig site. She sent everyone else in for the night… it was nearly four in the afternoon, time for dinner… and her transport was going to be there at five. I know she wasn't on the first transport of the day, Agent Booth, but no one will listen to me!" Daisy exclaimed, nearly hyperventilating from talking so fast.**_

_**"Whoa, wait… they won't even look for her?"**_

_**"They say she's accounted for."**_

_**"Has anyone heard from her?"**_

_**"No. I'm telling you, Agent Booth… she was down in the dig site that afternoon. No one else was caught in it, because she sent them back to camp early. She was going to check one more thing and then catch the transport, but the earthquake came, and they evacuated us."**_

_**"Then we need to get to the dig site, now." Booth said as he turned and started looking for someone to take him to the site. Daisy was right behind him as she watched him flash his badge and march his way through the camp looking for anyone who would be willing to bring them to that area.**_

_**"Sir, Doctor Brennan was brought to the airport. She's probably stuck there right now. There is no need for you to run in here like some kind of steroid raging superhero and expect to save her from something as simple as an airline delay." One of the doctors said, as in a split second, Booth's hand was on the man's shirt and he was holding him inches above the ground.**_

_**"Do you want to be personally responsible if she dies in this earthquake, Doctor… Spaulding?" Booth exclaimed, spitting in the man's face with his words. He shook his head as Booth growled. "Then I suggest you contact that transport vehicle and you find out where Doctor Brennan is right now!" He exclaimed angrily, dropping the man onto the ground as he turned and nearly ran into Daisy.**_

_**"What are we going to do, Agent Booth?" Daisy asked, watching as he clenched his jaw and looked around, noting a jeep sitting by itself on the edge of camp.**_

_**"We're going to go look for her ourselves." He said as he stomped toward the vehicle.**_

_**"But Agent Booth! It's dangerous out there!"**_

_**"Then you stay here." He said, approaching a man standing beside the jeep, he reached into his pocket and pulled money from his pocket. "I'll give you two hundred dollars if you drive me to the dig site." He said, watching the man look at him incredulously. "A friend of mine could be very hurt there… it's already been more than twenty four hours… if she's still there, we need to look there."**_

_**"And what makes you think that your friend is still alive?"**_

_**"I'll give you two hundred dollars if you drive me to the dig site." He said as he held the money out to the man. Suddenly, Doctor Spaulding came running from his tent and nearly skidded into Booth.**_

_**"Sir… the transport van was damaged in the quake… the driver injured, and there was no sign of Doctor Brennan." He said, panicked. "We need to get a rescue crew to the dig site now." He panted as Booth felt the urge to wring the man's neck. "Come with me!" He exclaimed, as Doctor Spaulding turned, and Booth and Daisy both followed after as the search for Doctor Brennan continued.**_

* * *

The lecture hall was filled with more people than had attended the first time. It was the time between Christmas and New Years, and three days before Brennan and Booth were to go on their separate ways. Despite Booth's attempts to convince her to let him come with her to Maluku, she had insisted that they would be fine apart. She promised to call each and every day, and that before he even realized it, she'd be back in D.C. with him.

Booth straightened in his seat a bit as he looked around the lecture hall, students and other visitors having returned early from their Christmas plans to attend the lecture that Brennan had intended to give before she had fallen ill before them. She felt good about it, if not a little nervous, and perhaps a bit embarrassed about the incident that had occurred the last time she had spoken in front of this particular audience. Booth had given her a little pep talk, kissed her nose delicately and told her that she'd be just fine, as long as her nose didn't bleed like a fountain over the podium, he did promise to be there if she did decide to take a crash landing.

Angela, Hodgins, and Booth sat front and center, ready to watch their friend boast about the discoveries that she and her team had made in the Maluku islands, discoveries that she was so incredibly happy about that her three friends couldn't help but be proud of her. The lecture began as the last had, slides being shown behind her, and her voice was stronger now, much more resolute. She apologized profusely for the delay in her lecture, and explained that she had contracted a disease that was quite common in the climates that she had been living in for the past six months.

She discussed her slides and her findings, introducing the team through photographs and short videos, and despite the scientific nature of her lecture, Booth found it engaging and interesting. She was just wrapping up her presentation when she paused, all eyes being on the podium, the next words that came from her lips surprised all who were present.

"I have thoroughly enjoyed the research, the research team, and the experiences and knowledge that I gained through my extended stay on the Maluku Islands. However, part of the reason that I brought you all here during the holidays was to announce my voluntary retirement from the onsite portion of the project." She said, clearing her throat, her eyes raked over the audience as they settled on Booth's shocked expression, and a slight smile came to her face as she continued. "In three short days, I will be returning to the Maluku Islands for a month, in order to train my replacement. I will then be joining the stateside Maluku team in Washington D.C. in the cataloguing of artifacts, and the submittal of articles for numerous journal entries. My work with this project has brought a great deal of attention to the findings of the project, and I am sure that my replacement will do a competent, if not fantastic job. Though I'd love to stay with the project on the islands, and I did enjoy my time there while it lasted. It is time that I came home. Because sometimes… sometimes the greatest discoveries are not buried beneath a pile of dirt or within the ground… sometimes the discoveries that you most need are standing right in front of you." She said, nodding her head as she took a step back, as the room erupted into applause. After a moment, the audience calmed and Brennan stepped up to the microphone. "I will take questions now… and there will be a reception in the conference room down the hall afterwards if you are interested, with further exhibits on the Maluku project." She said as she began to answer questions from the audience.

The question and answer session went fairly quickly, and Brennan was completely engaged with the students and citizens who had come out to ask questions. Booth was very impressed as she even tackled questions in French, her answers in flawless French as he watched in awe. When the session was complete, the audience stood to move toward the conference room for the small reception of snacks and refreshments that had been arranged by the college. Booth watched her from the bottom of the stage as she gathered her papers, her focus on the pages in front of her as she worked quietly as the room cleared out, and after a moment she looked over to see him staring up at her. Her eyes were bright blue and confident, and her smile lit up her eyes and they sparkled down at him.

"Will you be attending the reception, Agent Booth?" She asked, shuffling her papers as she slid them into the folder, she lifted her briefcase onto the table beside her as she watched him tilt his head.

"Perhaps." He whispered. "Bones?"

"I don't believe that my decision is going to be of much discussion."

"Why?"

"Because it's done." She said, putting the papers into the briefcase, she closed the lid and snapped it closed. "The decision has been made, and there is no going back."

"Bones."

"No regrets, Booth." She whispered as she walked toward the steps, her head high as he met her at the steps and held his hand out to her, helping her from the stage to the aisle, he reached for her briefcase, and she moved it to her other hand. "I prefer to hold your arm." She said, raising her eyebrows as his lips twitched slightly into a smile. He offered his arm to her, and she easily hooked hers with his.

"I'm proud of you." He whispered in her ear as they approached the back of the lecture hall together, arm in arm, she rested her head on his shoulder as he opened the door for them to walk through.

"I know that I made the right decision, Booth. Maluku is something that I wanted… you… you're what I need." She whispered, as he kissed her head and walked through the door with her, and down the hallway toward the reception, where everyone was waiting for her to arrive.


	28. Deep, Dark, and Lovely

_Booth and Parker sat at a table together, their eyes moving toward the door when a familiar figure walked inside. Booth stood up as she approached, the smile on her face nearly instantaneous. "Hey." He said, his smile inviting as she stepped up to the table._

_"Hey." She replied, glancing to Parker, who was looking up at her. He looked a bit nervous, perhaps it was just because he was being quiet, but he gave her a smile. "Hey, Parker."_

_"Hi, Bones." He said, watching as she sat across from the two of them, looking up at the waitress as she approached. They ordered their dinner, and were a bit quiet, a sense of awkwardness seemed to be floating between the three of them. Beside Parker on the table, sat two neatly wrapped gifts._

_"Dad says you're going pretty far away." Parker said suddenly, his eyes catching the doctor's as she gave him a friendly smile._

_"Yep… Indonesia…" She said, glancing to Booth. "Oh, that reminds me." She said as she turned toward her bag and pulled out a folded paper. "I purchased this world map for you… I thought you might like it, I made sure to highlight where the Maluku islands are, and where Afghanistan is… you'll be able to find exactly where your dad is stationed." She said, watching the boy snatch up the map quickly as he tried to unfold it on the table._

_"This is so cool!" Parker exclaimed excitedly as Booth watched him nearly knock over everything on the table._

_"Wait, wait…" Booth laughed as he tried to take the map from Parker. "Why don't we look at this at home?"_

_"Because I want to see it now, Dad. Just for a minute…"_

_"Here…" Brennan said, reaching across the table, she pulled open the map with him, holding it above everything on the table as Parker looked at it. "See that? There is Indonesia… and the islands…"_

_"I see 'em!" Parker exclaimed excitedly, smiling up at Brennan. "And over here…" She said, pointing at the United States. "That's Washington D.C." She said, watching Booth shake his head, though the smile never left his face. "And that spot over there…."_

_"That's where Dad is going, right?"_

_"That's right, Afghanistan…" Brennan smiled. _

_"This is so cool, Bones! Thanks so much!"_

_"I figured if your mother allows you, you could put it on your wall in your bedroom… and you'll know exactly how far away we are, but you can always write, or call…" She said, watching Parker grin as he looked at the map in wonder._

_"This is so awesome." He said. "Thank you, Bones." He said again, smiling up at his father as they helped him fold the map back up. "Dad and me got you presents too." He said, his hand falling to one of the gifts, he brought it in front of him and slid it across the table. _

_Suddenly, a loud beeping sound came from within the package, and Brennan looked up in surprise, her brow furrowing in confusion as she lifted it to her ear. "Did you set the alarm?" Parker whispered to Booth. _

_"I didn't… did you?" He asked, pointedly as the little boy's ears turned bright red as he shrugged._

_"I dunno." He shrugged. They both looked at Brennan and Parker grinned. "Open it, open it…" He said as he glanced to Booth._

_"You want me to open it now?"_

_"Yes, please… before that incessant beeping makes my brain explode." Booth said as she shook her head at him. _

_She unwrapped the gift slowly, still hearing the alarm going off as she opened the box, the beeping was loud and piercing as she pulled a watch from the box. "Here, Bones…" Parker said, reaching across, he pulled the watch from her. "You just push this button and the alarm turns off."_

_"Well thank you." She said as he handed it to her, she admired the object._

_"Do you like it?" Parker asked. "Dad says it's a real cool watch…it has a light on it, it checks your pulse, and beeps when its too fast or too slow… and it has time zone checkers… and you can see what time it is at home, and where Dad is! It has a stop watch, and…."_

_"It has everything but the kitchen sink." Booth said, getting a confused look from Brennan. "Figure of speech."_

_"I know." She said with a sly smile as she looked back at the watch. "Thank you very much for the watch, Parker… I can see that it will come in very handy." She said as she latched the watch to her wrist. _

_"It's a really cool watch, Bones… I told Dad that I wanted one just like it sometime… he said all I need to do is know what time it is, so I can get a much cheaper watch… so oh well…" He shrugged with a smile._

_"You do know that I didn't need a gift, right, Parker?"_

_"That's what dad said… but I wanted you to know I was going to miss seeing you around."_

_"Well, I'll miss you very much too, Parker." Brennan said as the waitress brought their meals. They all watched as their plates were put in front of them, and Parker began digging right into his cheeseburger as soon as it was placed in front of him. Brennan and Booth exchanged glances several times, and he swore once or twice that she was blushing. _

_They began eating their dinner, and Brennan kept glancing to her new watch, the thought of the two boys in front of her was enough to make her feel just a bit emotional. Her eyes remained on her dinner, or the watch, and she could feel Booth's stare across the table. Without warning or even a thought, she reached across and grabbed a fry off his plate, quickly shoving it into her mouth. As if that were the perfect conversation starter, Booth laughed. "I'm going to miss that too…" He said softly._

_"Miss what?"_

_"You, stealing my fries." He laughed._

_"I don't know what you're talking about." She shrugged, as she reached over and grabbed a fry from Parker's plate._

_Parker just giggled as he looked at his father. "Parker has another surprise for you, you know." Booth said, as Brennan's eyes glanced to Parker. He smiled at his father's partner and tilted his head, his eyes falling on the gift beside him. _

_"I told dad that I was worried that you'd be all alone for your birthday." He shrugged. "And I wanted to get you something."_

_"My birthday isn't until February." Brennan said with a tender laugh, though not enough to make the boy feel self conscious._

_"I know… but you're going to be away on your birthday… this way, you'll have a present and you can open it, and you'll know that I wished you a happy birthday!" The boy exclaimed, extremely proud of himself, and Brennan looked to Booth._

_"This was all his idea." Booth shrugged._

_"I was gonna save my money for a new mountain bike… but I saw this at the store and I told Dad that you just had to have it." He said, sliding the gift to her. "But you can't open it until your birthday." He replied._

_Brennan smiled and glanced between Booth and Parker. "You two…"_

_"What?" Booth asked._

_"Nothing…" She said, smiling at them, Booth could see the emotion in her eyes as Parker looked on proudly at the gift in her hands. "Thank you." She said softly, her eyes dropping to the boy's smiling face. "Thank you very much, Parker." _

_"I just don't want you to feel lonely, Bones." He said with a smile._

_"Well, I most certainly am not going to be lonely now." She said, smiling as Parker offered her a fry from his plate, one which she gratefully accepted, and grinned as she popped it into her mouth and smiled across at the boy and his father._

* * *

They sat on a small bench, his arms around her securely as they both stared out at the view before them. "Are you cold?" He whispered, kissing her jaw tenderly as she pushed her head into him with a slight laugh.

"I'm not cold." She whispered. "But thank you for worrying about me."

He was going to respond to her words, but found silence and a tender squeeze to her shoulder was all that she needed to know that he would always try to ensure that she was at her most comfortable when he was around. They stared out at the tourists that were gathering near the Eiffel tower, and though it was quite cold in the post Christmas air, they waited for the eruption of New Years fireworks together at a distance from the rest of the crowd, wrapped in one another's arms to keep warm.

"I almost don't want to leave." She whispered.

"Well, I think I'm frozen to the bench, so we may not have a choice." He whispered, listening to her warm laughter against him. "I love your laugh." He whispered with a wistful sigh.

"I find it to be obnoxious." She replied sincerely as he shook his head.

"Not obnoxious… full of happiness." He replied. He felt her shiver against him, and shook his head.

"I suppose my body has decided to give away that I am actually very cold." She said, as he smiled knowingly.

"We can go inside if you prefer." He replied.

"No… no, I want to stay here." She said softly, their words drifting into silence between them as others around them moved and talked, celebrated and laughed together. He held her tighter against him as he felt her shiver again, kissing the top of her head.

"Bones, I'm still worried." He whispered finally, his focus on some invisible object in front of them. "What if you get sick again?"

"I will try my very best not to get sick again." She replied. "Perhaps I was a bit lax in my attempt to ward off the mosquitoes, or other insects, but I know that I need to be more careful this time."

"And you're going to carry six bottles of fresh water with you at all times?"

"Six bottles?" She laughed. "That's a bit heavy don't you think?"

"I don't care… you're strong, you can handle it." He said, listening to her laugh. "I'm not being funny, I don't need you to dehydrate." He said, listening to her laugh again. He shook his head. "Make sure you have food with you too… just in case you miss dinner, I know how you get so involved with your work and you forget to eat." He teased.

"I have power bars… granola bars…" She replied, watching as he made a disgusted face. "What? They're good for me." She laughed.

"I didn't say anything."

"No, but your face said it all… I could just leave them behind… eat dirt." She teased.

"No… no… you eat your nuts and… health gunk… whatever… as long as you've got something in you… I don't need you to come home as a bag of Bones." He smiled. She smiled and shook her head, leaning into him a little deeper, he wrapped his arms completely around her and held her close. "I know one little boy who is going to be very excited to see you." Booth said with a gentle rock in his hold.

"Have you told Parker that you're coming home yet?" She whispered.

"I called him… Rebecca said he can stay at my place for a week or two so that we can catch up." He whispered. "I didn't tell him that you were coming home… I'll wait until I see him to do that."

"So since I'm coming home right before my birthday… I can open the gift he gave me with him." She said, looking up at Booth, who nodded.

"He will be ecstatic." He replied.

"I keep it in my bag you know… with the belt buckle. It just… it keeps me thinking of you guys."

"Well, you've always got that obnoxious watch he gave you before you left." He said, wiggling her wrist as she grinned at him.

"I love my obnoxious watch." She said, holding up her watch to show off the timepiece that she had stowed away in her luggage until her presentation at the University. "It tells me the time in any time zone… it plays several different songs… the face lights up… it tracks my pulse, and Parker even set up the alarm on it to go off when it's time for me to eat… though I did turn the alarm off." She laughed.

"That wasn't Parker that set that up… that would be me." He laughed as she giggled, their eyes moving to the watch, where she found herself playing with the buttons, setting off the alarm, he listened to the silly song that it played, her grin becoming wider as he rolled his eyes. "He set it off in the car and then dropped it on the day we bought it… it played for fifteen minutes before I finally pulled the car over and made him unbuckle his seatbelt to find it. I almost threw it out the window." He said, as she gave him a surprised look, their attention suddenly brought to the loud pop in the distance as the fireworks lit up the sky. "Hey… look at that… it's midnight."

"That's what my watch says…" She said, watching him roll his eyes at her with a laugh, pulling her close they looked up at the fireworks as they exploded, outlining the Eiffel Tower perfectly. "Happy New Year, Booth." She whispered softly.

"Happy new everything, Bones." He whispered, kissing her head and holding her, as they watched the fireworks light up the sky, before he changed his mind and settled for watching them reflect in her eyes, instead.

* * *

**_She had fallen asleep again, the only thing she could do that wouldn't send her into another fit of shock or fear. As another nightmare coursed through her mind, she almost literally jumped again, a familiar sound interrupting her thoughts. She shifted slightly in the dark hole, her hand reaching into her bag, trying to find the offending object that was ringing in her ears. It had been hours since she had heard anything but her own breath, so the constant beeping of the object in her bag was making her ears ring. She pulled out the screaming watch, her finger moving over the buttons to disarm the alarm. Instead of sliding it back into her bag, she strapped it to her wrist and pressed the button. _**

**_The brightness of the face almost blinded her, and the time shouted out at her from its back lit blue color. It had been nearly thirty hours since the earthquake. It had been nearly thirty hours since she had eaten or had anything to drink. It had been over thirty hours since she had heard or seen a human being. She moved slightly, groaning at the pain of her stiffened muscles, crying out against the protest that her body was putting up. The light from the small hole above her was fading, and she again feared another rainstorm. _**

**_Rain would only slow efforts for rescue. _**

**_If they were even looking for her at all. _**

**_Her hand reached into the bag, pulling from it a bottle of water, she snapped the cap open and took a small sip of water. As soon as the liquid touched her lips, she had the urge to gulp it all down quickly. She didn't have much water, and knew that she wouldn't survive long down in this hole if she drank it too quickly. As soon as the water touched her stomach, a painful growl erupted from her gut as her body suddenly demanded sustenance. She winced in pain as she felt her stomach twist, and she let out a groan as she tipped her head forward, the movement sending bits of dirt falling around her once again. _**

**_She held her breath for a moment, looking up at the hole that symbolized freedom. She let out an involuntary whimper as she sipped from the water bottle again, closed the cap and placed it in her bag. As soon as her hand was in the bag, it touched another object, her finger flicking over a small package at the bottom of the bag. She sucked in a deep breath and released it, wondering for a split second if she'd ever make it out of her makeshift grave. The despair and darkness of the hole, the sadness she was feeling in her heart, in her mind, in her soul was almost too much to bear as she imagined Booth sitting at home, angry at her for leaving, wondering about her whereabouts._**

**_"I'm here." She whimpered, letting another tear fall from the corner of her eye, she let a sob shake her body as she tried to think positive thoughts, tried to find some kind of solace in anything. Her hand touched the belt buckle in her bag, and she pulled it back quickly as if she had been burned. The thought of his disappointment was too much, it was far too much for her to take, and just touching that metal object, was like reaching out to him. He could have saved her from this, he would think he could have saved her, and for that she felt immense guilt. Almost involuntarily, her hand reached into the bag and pulled out the small wrapped box. She couldn't see it, only feel it on her fingertips as she brought it to her face._**

**_It was irrational to think that it smelled like anything other than paper and dust from her bag, but to her, it smelled like home. She rolled the small box in her hands, and slipped her finger beneath the corner of wrapping paper as she looked up at the hole above her. She rubbed her arm over her tear stained face, pulling the paper from the box, she let it fall to her side within the hole, her mind keeping her from grabbing the paper and holding onto it. The box was short and long, and she couldn't quite figure out what Parker could have gotten her, and at this point, she didn't care. She needed a piece of home, anything… she needed something to keep her sane._**

**_She slid open the top of the box, her fingertips moving over the object in her hands as she groped it with her fingers. She smiled as she realized what it was, her fingers moving slowly of the cool plastic and metal of the object. She pictured the boy in her mind, picking out the object at the store, convincing his father that 'Bones just had to have it'. She could feel the tears rolling over her cheeks as her finger grazed a button on the object, sending a beam of light into her face that almost literally blinded her for a moment. The object was a Swiss army knife, a knife that was packed with knives, openers, screwdrivers and the like. The button on the side was for the flashlight, and for the first time in over thirty hours, she was bathed in light. She felt her heart leap in her chest, and tears nearly came to her eyes once again as she looked up at the darkening clouds above her._**

**_"Parker Booth… when I get out of here, I'm going to buy you a fleet of mountain bikes." She whispered to no one, but somehow, in the deep, dark hole that she had come to despise, she managed a smile._**


	29. Death Could Be A Welcomed Relief

_He knew there was no question in his mind of whether or not he'd be at that airport on the day she left. He had a week before he was deployed, and she was leaving now. His breath caught as he walked around the escalator, his hat in his hand, his strong hands wringing it as he stood and watched her say goodbye to her friends. She hugged each one, wishing them well as she turned back toward her bag. He willed her to look up, his eyes imploring her to just look up, to see him standing there, waiting for her. He was not disappointed when her eyes met his, and from the sparkle deep in those eyes, he could see that she was just as happy to see him, as he was to see her._

_He could tell by the way that she walked toward him, want or need for no one, and not even hearing the voice of Daisy Wick calling out to her. Her eyes were on one thing, and nothing was going to pull her from it. He could see that she was trembling. It was just slight, but he could see it, and as their eyes locked and she made her way across the airport to him, the world just stopped for a moment._

_There was him, there was her, and there was nobody else. Their eyes were focused on one another, and for a split second he felt a twinge of guilt for leaving, for letting her leave, for making this goodbye so much more difficult. She moved quickly toward him, and before he could take a breath she was standing face to face with him. With an unsure voice, he apologized for being late, blaming it on a little white lie that he had to sneak off the base, when in reality it had taken him a few minutes alone in the restroom to work up the nerve to come out and face her, face their reality, face this future that neither was sure of, but both knew was inevitable._

_His eyes were locked on hers, and he knew that he needed to distance himself. He knew that he couldn't breathe her in too deeply, or else he'd fall. "Listen Bones, you've got to be really careful in that Indonesian jungle, okay?" He said, shifting on his feet, the sparkle in her eye too much to resist as she visibly attempted to distance herself with her own request of advice, her eyes flickering to his chest and though he knew that the chain holding his St. Christopher medal and her mother's ring was beneath his shirt, that she was looking for an indication of its presence, and they lifted to his once again, pausing for a moment as he mentally sent his love across the treacherous inches that separated them._

_He nodded, swallowing hard with so many other words and thoughts on the tip of his tongue. They had promised that this would be hard enough as it is without making a scene between the two of them. Their love could survive this. He shifted a bit on his feet, and for a moment he so wanted to just take her into his arms and kiss her until she agreed to stay, that they both could stay. He watched her breath hitch as he took a small step forward, wanting so much to pull her toward him, his eyes staring directly into hers as they begged her not to go. He watched her lips part, a moment where they both knew that they were about a breath from going too far, and her eyes moved once again to his throat, as he watched her eyes graze his chest, where beneath his fatigues rest the two pieces of his past, present, and future that would be with him through this difficult time. He wanted more than just to hold her hand, and the lack of contact was weighing on him each and every second, but without a moment's hesitation, his hand was moving toward hers, and it met hers half way, gripping it tightly._

_He whispered his promise, his promise of 'one year from today,' and he could see her heart crushing with his words, but she finished his sentence regardless, her 'know-it-all' tone making him smile just slightly as he gripped her hand tightly in his. The look in her eyes was so absolute, so sincere, that it nearly took him by surprise. His head tilted slightly as he let the sincerity of her voice melt into his mind, their eyes still locked. He could almost literally see her heart breaking, crushing before him, and though the avenues of communication were open to both of them, he just wanted to hold her forever. He gripped her hand tightly for another moment, knowing that if he didn't release it, he'd never let go._

_Reluctantly, he pulled his hand from hers, taking the first step backwards, he could feel his own heart stinging in his chest, and finally, he turned. He had no idea how he had managed to do it, walk away from her like that. He stopped suddenly, his feet wanting to move, but his brain knowing that he needed to see her one more time. The second that he saw her walking away he felt like a broken man, but she did turn, she turned to him one more time. He could see the tears in her eyes, the hurt, and it was only another second as a silent 'I love you' was tossed carefully into the air, and caught in her eyes, as they both turned and went their separate ways._

* * *

_**Paris**_

_They stood together at the gate of her flight back to Indonesia, the Charles De Gaulle airport filled to the brim with passengers, and the French language being tossed around fluently and mixed with the confusion of travelers who had no idea where to go, or how to find their way around. Booth and Brennan stood face to face, blue and brown meeting somewhere in the middle as they spoke of promises and hope._

_"You promise that it's only a month?" He asked her, watching her eyes as she smiled, the corners of her eyes lifting just as the corners of her lips had._

_"Of course. I am sure that the team isn't going to want me to be on the ground any longer than I have to once they have a new project manager. Nobody enjoys having two bosses."_

_"Hey, is that a shot at me?" He asked, watching her eye narrow as her eyebrow lifted. "If you're not back in a month, you know I'll go there and get you."_

_"You don't have to worry about it, Booth."_

_"I'm serious… I'll toss you over my shoulder, throw you onto a plane and force you to come home." He replied._

_"I know you're serious." She laughed, shifting her bag._

_"And you'll bring plenty of water?"_

_"Yes…" She nodded. "And I'll eat… and wear bug spray, and cover my mouth when I cough…"_

_"Hey, no coughing." He said, giving her a glare as she grinned._

_His smile immediately turned serious as he watched her, and his hands reached out to touch hers. "Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" He whispered._

_"I want you to always be with me, Booth… but you have no purpose there, you should go home to your son. He will be very happy to have his father return to him… and then I'll return for him." She smiled tenderly, watching him swallow hard._

_"You're going to be careful out there, right Bones?" Booth had asked, followed by a scoff of certainty, she had heard him ask the question a dozen times, and her response had always been the same. Don't give me that look, Bones… you know that if I told you what I was really feeling, you'd never go. I love you, I want you to be safe… when I tell you that I want you to be safe, it's the same as telling you that I love you."_

_"How do you figure?"_

_"Just be safe, Bones. I love you." He repeated as he leaned in to kiss her tenderly, holding her close to his body as they both tried not to cry. They stood like that for a long time, holding one another in the terminal, his flight was leaving in two hours, and they had already said their goodbyes to Hodgins and Angela. It was just the waiting, knowing that they were soon going to be apart that was killing him._

_"Hey." She said suddenly, against his shoulder. "I have something for you." She whispered, pulling from the hug, she watched him swipe at his eye, knowing that he was trying to hide a tear that had escaped. "Give me your passport." She whispered._

_"Why?" He asked, watching her smile slyly as he slipped the passport from his back pocket._

_"Because I need to put something into it for you." She said, tipping her head as she pulled a folded slip of paper from her purse, she looked up into his eyes as she took his passport. She slipped the paper into the pages of the passport and smiled._

_"Another bet?" He whispered._

_"Maybe…" She shrugged, handing his passport back to him, he gave her a confused look as he flipped it open and pulled the paper out, smiling as he shook his head._

_"You know I'm going to hold you to this, right?" He asked with a full laugh, sliding the paper back into his passport._

_"I hope so." She said, smiling, as her flight was called, her smile immediately changed to a frown. She swallowed hard. "I'm sorry." She whispered._

_"Hey…" He said, trying to be brave for her as he smiled gently. "It's only a month, right? Think of the alternative." He shrugged._

_She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to make the tears subside as she released it slowly into his chest. "I love you." She whispered, pressing her ear to his chest as she wrapped her arms around his body. "Thank you for catching me… thank you for being there when I woke up."_

_"Thank you for sharing Paris with me." He whispered into her hair, kissing the top of her head. She looked at him just then, her eyes shining with unshed tears._

_"Thank you for sharing forever with me." She whispered, pulling softly from his arms, she felt so cold away from his embrace. "One month, Booth."_

_"Only one month… don't make me come looking for you." He said with a faux warning glance._

_"I won't." She smiled, taking a step backwards. "You won't have to come looking for me."_

_"I love you, Brennan." He paused. "Temperance…"_

_"Bones." She said with a smile, shrugging. "Just Bones is fine."_

_"I love you, Bones."_

_"I love you, Booth." She said, taking a step forward toward the ticket counter, she handed the ticket to the airline staff member, who scanned it and let her pass. She took one more look behind her, his eyes were just waiting for that lock and she watched his lips move to the words that she knew she'd miss. Her lip trembled just a bit, and he noticed immediately that she was on the verge of breaking. So quickly, she turned her head and dropped her head to stare at her floor, as she made her way toward her flight, leaving him waving from a slight distance waiting for his flight to take him even farther from her once again._

* * *

The light flashed up toward the hole that was her air source. She wanted to conserve the light, but couldn't help but move as much as she could to assess the cuts and bruises on her body, her feet bare but for her socks, and her legs scraped and bleeding through her pants. The pain was felt, but it was dull and achy compared to the pain she was feeling in her chest, the panic in her heart.

She flashed the light over herself one more time and rested her head on the wooden post in front of her, trying desperately to stay awake. She looked back up at the hole, noting the dark clouds above, she dreaded the obvious rain storm that was headed in their direction and could hear the low rumble in the distance. Suddenly, it was as if the sky opened above her, and the rain began to pour down. She moved her face down, but it was too late, and she had been blinded by the onslaught of the raindrops. She buried her head in her bag as she gripped it tightly in her arms, feeling bits of dirt falling around her.

She held her breath against the smell of the jungle rain, the taste of the dirt on her lips, and she suddenly felt a burst of energy that she didn't know she had inside her. Scrambling quickly, she nearly leapt for the opening where the rain was pouring in, pushing her feet against the wooden post, she could feel splinters pushing into her skin as she scrambled violently up, still several feet from the opening of the earth, she began to grunt angrily, screaming out in pain as she felt the dirt and stones tumbling over her, slamming into her head, cutting her face and hands as she cried out in pain, stopping herself as she ended up halfway toward her goal, with so much more to go… and such a small space to fit through, she was holding onto the wooden post with all of her strength, hugging it to herself.

"I don't want to die." She whispered suddenly, as if the thought had been rolling through her head for hours, but only then had been uttered. "I don't want to die…" She whimpered again, tears rolling down her cheeks as she pressed her face into the wooden post. "I don't want to die, please don't let me die… please!" She exclaimed, when a sudden rumble shook around her. She could feel the ground moving with her as a part of it, the sound of cracking and crumbling around her as she realized that another aftershock was occurring. The dirt began to fall from above, and she buried her head in her arms as she started to scream, the earth shaking violently and angrily, until the only sound from within the earth was the dull sound of a buried watch beneath the rubble, clinging to its owner's lifeless wrist.


	30. Forever

_The tremor hit as soon as the dig site came into view. A rescue crew was behind them, and the rain that had poured on them had slowed to a drizzle as Booth tumbled out of the jeep before it even stopped, landing on his feet as he ran toward the dig site._

_"Was that another earthquake?" He asked, not trusting the feel beneath his feet as he ran toward the disaster that lay before him. The ground was saturated, and the drizzle was only increasing the sharp pain in his stomach. He felt the ground tremble again as his hands reached up to rub his face, looking around desperately of some sign that she was there, or had escaped. He needed something, anything but to stare at the hole in the ground that was the remains of where just days before was packed with people exploring the riches of the site._

_"Where would she have been?" Booth asked, breathless as he rubbed his forehead with the heel of his hand. "Jesus Christ! Daisy?" He exclaimed, turning to see the young woman running toward him. "Where the hell would she be?" Booth shouted._

_"Over here, Agent Booth!" She called as she passed him, leading him toward the dig site._

_From the state of the ground, and the wet conditions, the search seemed doomed from the start, and the rescue crew arrived and moved over the rubble and remnants of the dig site with solemn looks, as if they were carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders._

"Agent Booth, it's going to be impossible to find anyone in all of this, and alive? That would be virtually impossible." One of the medical personnel said as he walked up beside Booth.

_"You said virtually impossible… so it's not absolutely impossible." He growled. "You're here to rescue people, rescue her!"_

_"I can't use all of our resources for one person, Agent Booth! This isn't a rescue effort, it's a recovery effort… and the ground is still very unstable. Some parts haven't caved in yet, and its best to…"_

_"To what? Let her die in the ground? No thanks! If you want to go, then go… but leave me with an ambulance and a couple of techs, because I will find her." He said angrily._

_"Agent Booth."_

_"Just go!" He shouted, stomping past the man, he ran toward Daisy, who was pulling several rocks up._

_"We're going to need some equipment."_

_"This is a goddamned mess." He said, rubbing his hand over his face, he had an overwhelming urge to cry. He sighed as he knelt on the ground beside Daisy. "This is just a goddamned mess." He whispered, taking a deep breath._

_With his breath held, he could feel the blood pumping in his ears, the blood rushing through his veins, each and every beat of his strong heart, pounding in his head. It was then that he heard it the first time, the muffled sound of a beep, beating just a hair off of time with his own, a beep so soft that he thought his mind was making it up, and he remembered what she had said to him._

* * *

_"I know why it sounds differently."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because… when I lay my head on your chest… my own heart rate rises… I can hear my pulse in my ears, so when I press my cheek against your chest…"_

_"You hear both of our hearts."_

_"Beating together." She whispered. "Always together." _

* * *

_"Together." He whispered. "Together, always together." He whispered._

_"Agent Booth, are you okay?" Daisy asked._

_"Her heartbeat." He said, looking Daisy in the eyes. "The watch… I can hear the watch!" He exclaimed, pushing himself to the ground, he pressed his ear to the ground, following the sound._

_"Agent Booth, what's going on?"_

_"Be quiet!" He exclaimed as he listened at the ground, moving toward the sound beneath the earth. "Just shut up for a minute!"_

_"What are you listening for, Agent Booth?"_

_"Right here!" He exclaimed. "Dig right here! We need to dig right here!" He shouted as he looked toward the rescue crew, who looked very un-amused by the obviously traumatized and mourning man before them. _

_Noticing their lackadaisical and uncaring stance, Booth began removing dirt with his bare hands. He grunted as he tossed dirt aside, and looked up at Daisy, who was bewildered at the agent's action, but also intrigued as she too began to dig with her bare hands as well. Together, they pulled the dirt from the ground, hearing bits of dirt fall farther , the sound of the beeping was louder. "Do you hear it?" Booth asked._

_"The beeping?"_

_"Yes… it's her watch… it's that damned fucking watch!" He exclaimed as he spotted something below the surface… a hand… covered and dirt and motionless, it was the most beautiful sight in the world to him._

_The first thing she felt was intense pain. Something was pulling at her, something was pulling hard, so hard. She wanted to scream out, scream so that they would just stop pulling. Everything was blurry and broken and she opened her eyes for a moment only for the dirt surrounding them to fall into the glassy orbs, causing more pain. There was more pain, more pulling, violent, violent pulling._

_She could hear breath sounds, heavy grunting breath sounds and for a moment dreamed she was being ripped apart by vultures, the darkness was becoming lighter, but there was no form as she felt blind in the brightness of the moment. She thought that perhaps this was the way someone dies, this was the way you feel when you die, when you are dead you can still feel?_

_Her eyes were closed and she tried to scream, her mouth opening but the sound not escaping. There was a great pressure in her head, in her chest, her legs felt like heavy weights as the light became brighter. There was beeping and the sound of shouting could be heard, shouting that was angry, maybe it was just concern, fear…something, there was something in the voice._

_She heard a scream, a distant scream… a mighty scream and she suddenly realized it was her own voice in her own ears._

_And it went silent._

_The pressure was too much, too much pressure… her chest felt like it was caving in. Her pulse was weakening, she gasped, gasped again, and finally her eyes opened. Her eyes opened and he was there, holding her, cradling her, begging her to look at him._

_So she did._

_She looked at him._

_"Bones… stay with me." _

_His voice was steady, laced with terror._

_Her lips were turning blue._

_"You have to be kidding me!" He exclaimed._

_The last thing she saw before she passed out was his teeth clenching the tip of a ballpoint pen, ripping the ink tube from the hollow holder, he held the hollow tube in the air above her ribs as he raised it high and looked so desperately like he wanted to close his eyes as it came hurtling down against her skin, piercing it instantly, as the pressure released, but the pain persisted, as she succumbed to unconsciousness._

_

* * *

_

Air sucked into her lungs and she sat bolt upright in the bed. Sweat poured from her as she breathed deeply again and again, trying to catch her breath. In and out, her lungs burned from lack of oxygen as her mind cleared and she realized where she was. She recognized the bedroom as her own. She was not underground, she was in her own bed, and she was not battling for life, she was battling for self control. Her throat was raw from the screaming she had just ceased and she closed her eyes tightly, trying to rid herself of the claustrophobic feeling that was threatening to take over. She let out a helpless whimper, running the heel of her hand over her cheekbone as the tears that had found their way down her cheek were whisked away.

She felt a warm hand on her arm.

Her head turned and she saw in the light of the moon his tender brown eyes looking up at her. "I'm okay." She whispered.

"You're sure?" He asked.

"Yeah." She nodded as she lay back on her pillow solidly, staring up at the ceiling, her eyes wide, but unseeing. She could feel him roll toward her, holding himself up with his arm as he stared down into those wide blue eyes.

"You're lying to me, Bones." Booth whispered, moving his hand to her cheek, he tenderly wiped a stray tear that she had missed. "Was it the dream again? The cave in, dream?"

"Yes." She said, turning away from him, she hated that he could read her pain so easily. And just as she suspected it would, his arm snaked around her waist, pulling her gently into his body as his warm arms enveloped her tear and sweat soaked body.

"And who rescued you?" He whispered, kissing her head tenderly, she could feel his breath on her neck as she turned her head, looking up at him, her ear pressed into his chest for a moment, and she listened to the gentle rhythm.

"You did." She said tenderly, her voice almost inaudible. "You always do."

"That's right." He said, kissing her head again. "I'll always be there in time." He said, feeling her body relaxing in his arms, he listened to her breathing as she cuddled into him a little farther. "Bones?" He whispered.

"Hmm?"

"What was the bet this time?" He whispered.

"Forever." She replied. Her answer was so simple, but it said everything. "I love you."

"I love you too… forever."

**-The end-**

* * *

**I hope that you enjoyed the journey... I sure did... I look forward to your comments! :)**

**Thanks again to my partners in crime Thnx4thegum and Doctorsuez... you guys helped me get out of a lot of ruts while writing this story. I would be in a grave state if it hadn't been for your assistance. You guys really are the Bread and Butter of the Fanfic world.**


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